I have a question for you, I’m curious to know what makes you think of your house as a home?  Is it what you create with food, material, wood, time, memories.  Is it what you do when you’re home – reading, watching movies, watching TV, playing games, visiting with friends?  Is it that you are married or single, have children or not have children?  I find when I am trying hard to not stress out, I compare my life growing up to now, how my kids are growing up.  I hope and pray when they are one their own, when they think of life at home as a child – it is with fond memories, not the day-to-day frustration I feel is overwhelming right now.  I want them to “remember the good old days”, “the days before….”. 😀

Our barn

What do you use for mixing in your kitchen?  I grew up with my mom having a Bosch.  Mom used the Bosch at least once a week; for making our family’s bread.  We didn’t buy bread, we made bread.  She would mix a batch of dough for four loaves of bread at a time.  When I was seven or eight, I could make the bread, I actually knew the recipe.  I’m sure my mom divided the dough into the four loaves, but I do remember going off while waiting for it to rise, coming back to punch it down, and letting it rise again.  I’m sure my mom was really on duty, but it was one of those things we kids were all aware of & my brothers would take turns/fight about who got to punch the bread.  {you know, those wearisome moments for mom, but they are oh so fond memories}

Yum, the smell of home made fresh bread! {deeply inhaling}  I remember bread being something my mom was known for.  I don’t remember her ever buying bread, I’m sure she did every once in a great while, but I don’t remember it.  I still remember smelling the fresh baked bread, and it was whole wheat bread.  We would grind the wheat berries in the stone mill and she even did all the tricks of adding gluten to make it less crumbly.  {Oh, how that makes me cringe to remember back to how I felt.  I grew up having stomachaches, headaches and other symptoms; but that was just the way it was.  I didn’t know any different.  It makes me smile now to think of what I would eat.  I don’t remember cookies as special treats – we got freshly ground whole wheat berries, still warm out of the grinder – with molasses on it.}  This is my memory of bread in our family through my senior year in high school – okay, not the warm wheat and molasses part but we had homemade bread part.
I remember my friend’s mom mixed a double batch of cookies by hand(!) because their hand mixer wasn’t strong enough.  I couldn’t imagine how she was strong enough to mix it together.  My mom and grandma had the same Bosch.  I don’t remember how old I was when I learned what a Kitchen Aid was.  I don’t remember knowing anyone who had a Kitchen Aid until I was older; it wasn’t until I moved out on my own that I decided I wanted one, after all everyone had a Kitchen Aid.  They came in pretty colors and sat out on the counter; and nobody knew what a Bosch was. 😀  As a young adult, I did have a bread maker at one point – but I hated it!  It was one of the low-end early ones and it either burned or didn’t cook, and was such a pain to clean out….
Fast forward many years, many real life hardships, and much longing for a real home.  I came to associate the Bosch with a home.  My mom still had hers and it had been 20+ years and it was still going strong (she wasn’t about to give it to me, I asked).  I thought I could make my house into a home if I had a Bosch.  I’d never seen one for sale, didn’t even know where to look to buy one (obviously the days before internet) and most people still didn’t know what a Bosch was.
When I started homeschooling my son, I went to our curriculum fair and found there was a small independent retailer of Bosch mixers.  I was so excited; I wanted to get one really bad.  I wanted to get back into making bread.  Then I saw the price – $500+, ya – it might as well have been $5000 or $50000.  That dream was set aside.
Eight years ago my children and I went to my grandparents in northern Wisconsin to spend the winter months with them.  Mom & Dad were going to be tied up for several months with work and the year previous there were health concerns, so I went down because I could and was blessed to spend time with my grandparents again.  My grandma was a year past stroke and my cousins lived across the field, it was a way I could help the family.  It wasn’t that my cousins couldn’t do it; they just graciously allowed me to come join them.
Grandma’s last birthday – just a month before she passed away
It was an opportunity to spend time with my Wisconsin family and help with taking care of grandma and grandpa.  Our trip was to be Jan-March.  Two weeks after getting there, the morning after her one-year post-stroke appointment, my grandma had a second series of strokes that put her into the hospital.  She passed away two weeks later.  The month following my grandpa started kidney dialysis three times a week.  My children & I were able to extend our stay; we had the privilege of living with my Grandpa until mid-July, a total of 7½ months.  It was an amazing time – my Grandpa was 80, my son 6½ and my daughter 3½  – my cousin and his wife lived across the field and had three little ones of their own.  His wife (Christina) & I got to know each other.  Our kids grew to love each other as cousins, Nate & Christina are “aunt & uncle” to my kids even though they are my cousins so that isn’t technically right.  {their home is one of the places we spent weeks at last summer}
There is not one day or moment I have ever regretted us being there, spending that time with grandpa.  We lived in the home I spent seven years of my childhood calling home; the home I have fond memories of fresh bread in.   Where I remember going out to the silo in the barn to fill the bucket with wheat berries that we ground into flour.  Anyway, my grandma had set aside her Bosch mixer for me.  Everyone in the family knew it was for me.  I remember being in such awe that I was going to have a Bosch, and not just any Bosch but my grandma’s Bosch, the one that matched my mom’s.  I am sorry to say I have only made bread a couple times – I felt the ingredients were too expensive to make bread!  How crazy is that?!
the cookie/soft batter beaters – I have bread kneaders & plates for shredding as well

At some point in it’s life while waiting to be given to me, the Bosch fell off the freezer.  We weren’t sure it would work, but my grandpa had it tuned up before we brought it from Wisconsin to Alaska and there was nothing wrong with it.  It is now nearly 40 years old and still runs great, it has never broken and I have used it lots for cakes, cookies, frosting – and the blender for smoothies.  My guess is this mixer will be still going strong for many, many years yet.

Where the blender attaches is under the lid on right side.
I wanted to start making bread again a couple years ago, but then I started school so it didn’t happen.  Now, I have to do gluten free and the ingredients really are too expensive to mess up.  At the same time, it’s $5.50 for a single loaf of gluten free bread (Udi’s is the best!).  I have not had a piece of bread in months.  I have had a couple of gluten free hot dog buns (Udi’s) because I got them in the $2 off older bread & just put them in the freezer.  I want the smell of fresh bread; I want the simple life style conducive to making our own bread; I want my daughter to learn how to make bread.  I’m now in a debate of do I need to get a bread maker instead?  But I don’t want a bread maker, is it necessary for making gluten free bread?  My greater debate/challenge is re-prioritizing so we can have the simpler lifestyle.
Rather than stressing – I’m choosing to hang onto these two promises:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
Matthew 6:25

“…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
Philippians 4:6

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