Nutshell version (Mark 10:46-52): blind man, Bartimaeus, is sitting on the side of the road begging. He’s heard about Jesus, but not seen Him (obviously), nor has he probably been near Jesus. Then all of a sudden he realizes Jesus is near and starts to shout. Those around him tell him to be quiet. He didn’t stop, he shouted more. Jesus hears him. Jesus stops and calls him over.
What struck me about this passage? Jesus is not annoyed by the delay, Jesus is not bothered by the interruption. He doesn’t say ‘what do you want?’ in an exasperated tone.
Jesus asks: What do you want me to do for you? (Mark 10:51)
This amazed me when I saw it. As many times as I’ve heard this story, I’ve always missed Jesus’ hearing, stoping, and asking. I didn’t understand the value of those actions and words, I don’t know why. Because my mind & heart weren’t ready to hear it? I don’t know, but I do know I am understanding something on a new level and it’s exciting.
Today in my reading: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7. Of course I’ve heard this verse numerous times, I’m pretty sure I’ve posted here about this verse before – if not, I’ve often thought about it. Anyway today, this is what I read.
Guess what part jumped out at me? Not the command to not be anxious, not about praying in every situation – present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7.
It’s okay for me to ask my Heavenly Father for my desires.
He won’t necessarily answer the way I expect him to – but as Holley says in her book, You’re Going to be Okay (pg. 86)
But the more we love him, the more our desires align with his, and we finally find the satisfaction we’ve been so desperately seeking in so many other places.
Which brings us to Matt. 6:33, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness…” I’m starting to get it a bit more.
When I am seeking Him first:
- I can present my requests to God.
- He will hear.
- He will answer (may not be my answer choice, but He does answer).
- He will give me peace regardless of my circumstances.
He wants me to ask Him. Just like I want my children to ask me for what they want. I can’t always give it to them – that might be due to my lack, or because I know it’s not best in the long run – but I still like to hear their desire. For the first time I’m understanding this. Yes, I’ve heard it my whole life. Yes, I have heard it always in my first language, English. But it is just starting to make sense.
In my mind, I’ve always been able to dismiss anything I didn’t understand about God with, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8) I was fine with knowing I wouldn’t always understand. But, oh, it’s so much fun when I feel as if the light has been turned up a bit.
My word for this year has been Trust. While I haven’t written often, I have thought a lot. As I’ve said before, I’m a slow and verbal processor. My problem has been what I have been trying to process, I can’t verbalize – this makes me even slower. My trusting has helped me to hear with new ears.
