What is love? 

We use it for so many thing it really doesn’t apply to. Such as cars, clothes, food, movies, music, etc.

This is what 1 Corinthians says:

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does NOT envy or boast.
Love is NOT arrogant.
Love is NOT rude.
Love does NOT insist on it’s own way.
Love is NOT irritable.
Love is NOT resentful.
Love does NOT rejoice at wrongdoing.
Love rejoices with the truth;
Love bears all things;
Love believes all things;
Love hopes all things;
Love endures all things;
LOVE NEVER ENDS.

How many times a day do we blow this? Are you always patient with your child/children? Are you always kind to your child/children? Do you always believe your child/children when they tell you the truth?

We know we love our child/children, but do they always know?

Just a quick thought for today. As I reflect on my children being younger and as my son received the most recent box from my daughter & I today – I sure hope they know a little bit of how much I love them!

(you can expect some changes to the way the website looks…I don’t know why photos are uploading so dark)

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Oh my. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it or read it before. But I won’t ever forget it!

He brought me out into a spacious place;
He rescued me because He delighted in me.
2 Samuel 22:20

I like my space, but I feel vulnerable in spacious places. I tend to hold my emotions close. but…

He brought me out into a spacious place;

When He brings you & me into spacious places, we can trust Him. He will protect us both.

He rescued you & me. God, our Heavenly Father, sent Jesus Christ to rescue us. Jesus already died on the cross for my sins, for your sins, then He rose again three days later because He CONQUERED death.

He rescued me…

Why did He rescue you? Why did He rescue me? because He delights in you! because He delights in me!

because He delighted in me.

God, the Creator of the whole universe, delights in you. God, the Creator of the whole universe, delights in me.

As a parent, I want to draw my children out. I want to rescue them. I delight in them. Just as my Heavenly Father wants the same relationship with me.

As a single parent, I especially want to protect & rescue my children. I want to protect them from the hurts, the consequences, of my mistakes. I want to rescue them from hurts I inflict, from consequences of my actions. … but this isn’t what my Heavenly Father wants me to do.

Just as He brought me out into the spacious place – He wants to bring them into the spacious place He has for them. He wants to rescue them because He delights in each of them.

I hope this is an encouragement to each of you today.

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I don’t have a three year old and a 10 week old.
I don’t have a four year old and one year old.
I don’t have a five year old and two year old.
I don’t have a six year old and three year old.
Those were the years of being a single-but-not-yet-divorced mom.

When my children were young, I was involved in the leadership of many activities – MOPS Steering Team, AWANA leader, Bible Study teacher, Sunday School teacher, and helped with Women’s Ministry Events – I/we were involved with all of these for the first three years of our single parent days. I don’t regret those days at all. We needed the activity because we would meet with my (not yet*) ex-husband once a week in a public setting. Wednesdays. It would take us until Friday or Saturday to recover from the two hours, then Sunday – Tuesday were kept busy so we didn’t go crazy in the apprehension of Wednesday coming. Visitation days were just plain awful.

But God. To this day, the most awe-inspiring thing I remember was on the days I felt the most vulnerable God always, Always, ALWAYS had someone I knew who would be wherever we were meeting. Sometimes it was a group of people. Never was it pre-planned. But God knew and He planned. The individual or group wouldn’t talk to me and I didn’t talk to them. They were people from our church family and not necessarily people I would talk to, but I recognized them and knew at the very least I had someone to help me call for help if needed. I’m not even sure they knew what was going on – it was the reality my Heavenly Father knew I what I needed. Ironically, the one time the police were called – I’m pretty sure it was the grocery store clerk who called, who knew enough from watching previous visits. That day, I don’t remember seeing someone I knew from church. Even though we were at the grocery store – the day before Thanksgiving.

But now? When I reflect back, there are very few visits that stick out in my mind. Also, I prayed a lot. I prayed for God to erase the bad memories. I knew in order for me to “move on”, I needed to not be able to remember or visualize what went on. I am thankful, because while I have few memories of those years – overall those days were wonderful. I loved being a mom then. (I still love being a mom today – it’s just really, Really, REALLY different!) My children weren’t old enough to understand money. We lived on very little. There usually wasn’t child support, so we lived on odd jobs I might do from home and the Alaska PFDs. Because my dad was committed to my being able to stay home with my children, we’ve continued living in the apartment attached to my parents’ home. I didn’t work consistently because I didn’t have to pay rent or keep lights on or pay for heat. I paid for my car insurance and gas, food, and necessities such as toilet paper & dish soap, etc.

My point in this? More than a decade later, I know in my head those days were hard. some were truly awful. … but overall, what I remember are good times with my children, and I am so thankful!

I remember I used to think – in five days, five months, five years, ten years, or even fifteen years – will I remember this [whatever hardship]? Now – it’s been more than fifteen years! I can honestly say, nope. I know there were many hardships, but I don’t remember specific details. I remember those days fondly.

The other question I remember pondering, will this parental battle be worth it? They must have been, because my children have mostly grown up – one is considered an adult – and they’re good kids. Yes, there has been conflict, but overall – it’s all good.

Now: I’ve been a single mom for 16 years.
Now: Now I have a child in college and my baby is a junior in high school. They are 19 & 16!
Now: I’m staring to stare down the reality of children no longer at home.

*We were separated for three years before he filed for divorce.

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You’d think with me working from home and us doing homeschool I wouldn’t struggle with being present. But I do.

I get so busy with trying to make ends meet, with trying to fit everything our American culture deems “important” in each day. I can get to the end of the day and too often realize I just orchestrated life all day and didn’t actually participate in any of it.

I realized while in the Philippines how much I was struggling with just slowing down and being. In the Philippines it’s not about how much you got done during the day. The work is there, you chip away at it. Some days the heat wipes all energy or thoughts of energy out of your mind and you. just. can’t. do. anything.

Other days you get more done.

Maybe this is true where you live too – but, here in Alaska we don’t have the energy sucking heat or humidity. You might freeze, so you put on a sweatshirt. But you can pretty much always full-on work (hard labor kind of working) for waaaay too looong. Especially since it doesn’t get dark in the summer. As I type this, it is 12:22AM – if I wanted, I could go sit outside and read a book without a light. It will get a little darker, but not a ton.

Having house help in the Philippines helped me see how much I didn’t ever stop – until there isn’t food to prep. no bathrooms to clean. floors to sweep. laundry to wash, dry and fold. [let me rephrase – those things were still there, I just wasn’t allowed to do them] then what do you do when school is done?

I’d go lay down on my bed with two fans pointed at me and read or nap. Regardless, I was starting to learn to enjoy just hanging out.

It was so strange. but so wonderful! [stop]

The above photo was one of many excursions while in the Philippines. What you can’t see is it is nearly 100* it is in the shade. The suffocating humidity was lessened a bit while sitting in this shade and hearing running water. We left that day on an adventure – we didn’t know if we’d actually find what we see out to hopefully swim at the base of another waterfall.

We did and we didn’t: We set out for an adventure – check, we got that. It was fun, all 8 of together. hanging out. not sure what we’d find. exploring together. Swim at the base of a waterfall – no go. Apparently, when the people who told us about this place were there – there was significantly more water. (they talked about a 6 foot pool of water – the water never passed our knees.) We didn’t swim. but we thoroughly enjoyed the shade after hiking across corn fields for a half hour to get there.

I still have so much in my head I want to say and remember about being present, but I’m not going to. I’m just going to challenge you to go out and  BE PRESENT (I actually explain what I mean by that so much better in that post). If you have children, go play with them. If you don’t have children choose to be present with the person/people you spend each day with. If you aren’t usually around people – go. do something different. when you get groceries, actually look at the cashier and tell them ‘thank you’.

Listen to them. Really hear them.

Hear what they say. Hear what they don’t say.

There are so many hurting hearts all around us. We just have to look outside ourself.

Sometimes, the hurting heart is ours [that is okay] and we need to focus on someone else for a while.

We hiked a mountain today – I can’t walk thru my living room for the mess from moving rooms, cleaning, moving my office – but we went. My mom definitely thought I was nuts – but it was my parents’ 43rd(!) anniversary and my dad is in Georgia for a conference. My brothers & their kids are not around – so it was my children and me left to spend the day with mom. So we did.

It makes me sad to think I was struggling with being present a year and a half ago too, and despite my thinking about and wanting it to be different – I’m pretty sure I’ve failed. Royally. I guess I’m improving a little – last year it took me until September to “run away” and choose to do something fun with the kids.

So thankful I can turn again to my Heavenly Father and ask for His strength, endurance, and forgiveness. This will be a turning point. Again.

Want to join the crowd in writing? Go on over to Lisa-Jo’s and link up with Five Minute Friday.

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