Today Christine and I tackled her room. It is once again a haven for her, a place she can enjoy. We’ve been trying to tackle this project for weeks – but we just couldn’t ever quite make it. Today we conquered!

This is the view as you walk into her room. The bathroom door is immediately on the left, that green dress is hanging on the outside. The bed is to the right and the rest of her room is further in. #1 is a large, double, porcelain sink that will be moving to the cabin. It has been the utility sink in this corner for 15 years though and it’s huge & heavy…so until the cabin is ready, the sink stays. #2 is the replacement sink, when #1 goes. We thought this would happen this summer – but it didn’t :-D. After today, it is holding all her empty backpacks/wallets/bags.  #3 is full of notebooks, drawing, miscellaneous stuff she doesn’t want to get rid of, but doesn’t know where to put and doesn’t want to look at.

Looking the rest of the way to the right. See the pretty sparkles over the window? Because there is so much darkness in the winter and the position of the window in the house – there is never direct sun into her room and the day light isn’t much to speak of in the winter….so, I have two tension rods up – the inside one is a white alternative down blanket to block cold (folded in half, then over the rod – so it’s four thicknesses of blanket) and the front one has the white sheer with sparkles (again folded over length wise since the window is short. She never has to feel as if someone can see in & it helps keep her room warmer. Because it’s not a window with darkness outside it helps her room be brighter too. In the spring/summer/early fall months it is just the sheer with sparkles in front of the glass.

The shelves are holding all her paper craft stuff, painting, sewing, clay, legos, Only Hearts Dolls, American Girl dolls/clothes, and a ton of books.

A darker view, but the lights glare so much it’s hard to get a picture. The closet is behind the wall you see on the left. It is so hard for me to imagine how all of this used to fit into my room! She doesn’t have more stuff (except toilet & sink) CRAZY!!!

She finally has a “vanity table”. We have tried many different configurations – but this is the one I came up with today. The other two tries have flopped, third time’s the charm – right? 😀 When all the lights are on it’s very bright, so she’s going to try to put make up on down there. You can see her scarves and all the elastic headbands hanging on the wall. I think this set up might actually work for her. As much as she & I are alike…. when it comes to everything having a place and everything in it’s place – we are extreme opposites. I’m hoping this isn’t “so” organized she shuts down, but instead she’ll actually follow through with putting stuff where it belongs. Time will tell :-).

When you turn around from the vanity area. Isn’t it cozy? (Please excuse the sheet hanging down.) I got the fun duvet cover from IKEA, when I got to go there this summer.

And again with lights on and seeing the bedroom door shut.

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Last year was an amazing, miraculous, horrific, full to overflowing, and yet an incredibly lean year – all wrapped in one. I didn’t blog much because I couldn’t gather all of my thoughts and get them to line up in a way to even narrow them down, let alone try to write them out so anyone could make sense of what I thought I was trying to say – most of all I figured your time was more valuable than reading my rambling. However, bits of this processing will be recorded here as more time passes and it makes more sense… Life lessons don’t just go away because it’s a new year. 🙂

I’ve done lots of processing with the help of paper | notebooks | journals and pens | colored sharpies | and colored pencils; and have been guided while reading some amazing books! It’s been good. But I’m so ready to blog here again.

While I would think of writing here often, there has just been so much life all around me [and with my laptop out of commission right now] I couldn’t quite make it to posting. There is only so much sitting in front of the big computer I can handle in a day.

To ease into my space again, I am going to share many recent house projects. To start things off we’re going to look at the dresser.

Background: I’ve had Mr. Dresser for …. uh, 10 years! This dresser was purchased for $25 at a garage sale/thrift store (don’t remember which – but not the point) and you could see the ‘potential’, but that potential was never uncovered. I have lived with this horrible looking dresser in various places of our physical space because:

• it is solid, real wood. [which means it is incredibly HEAVY to move!]
• it is almost as tall as me [= a great room divider].
• all of the drawers work.
• mostly though – because it had ‘potential’.

So, when we were working on Christine’s room there was the given house project avalanche of side effects. A lot like, “if you give a mouse a cookie/a moose a muffin/a mom a moment…” type of side effect. (she was moving out of our bedroom, so my office was moving into that space, so our living room was changing)

It was time to either get rid of the dresser. or attack it with paint and see if I liked it.

I attacked it. wholeheartedly and clueless to what I was doing. In the end, I love the way it looks! and I’m finally going to share it here :-).

Here are a couple photos of the stripping process. That is some NASTY stuff! It stinks, it burns, it’s hard to get rid of, but it made the wood so much prettier – on the drawers at least. The sun hitting it directly made it not look so nice – but it painted over fine (phew!).

At this point I was wondering if I should just work harder on stripping the main part and just oil the wood – but it was still pretty dark. My living room walls are dark’ish blue so I didn’t want a huge, obvious, dark brown dresser in my living room. Not really the look I was going for, I wanted it to blend in more. Besides, I knew I had my grandma’s old singer sewing machine to sit on the top – and it is dark brown.

I wasn’t sure what to do with the hardware. I knew I couldn’t afford to buy anything, but hadn’t painted metal before. and I wasn’t sure how well it would hold up.

It was simple. [and has held up find]

I spray painted the hardware a flat gray color.

Then with a dark charcoal craft paint I sponge daubed paint on, then rubbed across with a rag to make horizontal streaks. Way simple! [and FREE!]

With some more craft paint and a bit of mis-tint paint I went at the wood parts. I did an ‘April version’ of dry brushing [ie: I read an idea, then do my own thing. I don’t follow directions real well – they confuse me :-)]. It worked!

I love the end result!

This project accomplished many side-goals I had in mind too!

• it blends with my wall. but still holds its own.
• it houses an enormous amount of stuff. (top 2 drawers are most used office/school supplies, 3rd & 4th drawers are for Christine’s school stuff, and the bottom is DVDs)
• & in addition, now instead of the chair you see on the left, it is a protective corner for Mr. C.

cost of project:

• a high estimate on paint = $5
• wood stripper = uh…don’t have a clue, I got it from my dad’s shop {sheepishly grinning}
• time = a couple days

~~~

While thinking about posting again. and about the dresser. and taking into account all I’ve learned over the last year. I couldn’t help but think of the dresser as an example [of sorts] of me. us. people in general.

God has been opening my eyes to my value in Him. not as I perceive myself, but how He sees me. I have been dinged by life and the results are scratches & dents; I’m still useful and practical, but I haven’t necessarily appreciated who I am in Christ – my potential has been kept covered, by me.

I have allowed fear to hold me back. a lot. I’ve chosen recently to be proactive in not letting fear win. It is getting easier, but I still forget too often. Anyway, I was afraid of making a mess of the dresser for 10 years (10 years I lived with it ugly because it worked and I was afraid!).

I was trying to avoid failure. Early in life I made the childish decision to not make mistakes in life. I would listen, learn from others, then only do the “right” thing. [For the record, I failed daily even while stressing myself out trying to accomplish the impossible.] I have held myself to that ridiculous standard and hung onto the resulting shame for way too many years.

There isn’t a day I don’t notice the dresser (that is my bedroom/office just past it on the right and the bathroom door is on the other side of my bedroom doorway) and am so very thankful I finally chose to try. I suspect as time goes on and Christ continues His work work in me (Philippians 1:6), I will come to love this end product too :-).

How does any of this tie in to a dresser makeover? Just like I see the ugly dresser differently, I’m starting to see myself a little more differently each day too, more the way God sees me.

I’m still the same me. Just like it’s still the same dresser.
I still have the same story, with just a bit more memories added; just like he dresser still has all its nicks, dings, and dents (+ a few more added in the refurb process).

Remember what I said about the wood stripper – it stinks, it burns, it’s hard to get rid of, but it made the wood so much prettier. It is much like the process of removing the ick I’ve allowed to hang on me. It stinks, it burns, it’s hard to get rid of, but I hope it has made more of Christ shine through me. For some reason it’s really touching my heart that the wood stripper came from my dad’s shop – just like the only way I can be stripped of the ick in my life is for my Heavenly Father to take me to His shop.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 [ESV]

What do you think? Are you kind of like a dresser needing to be refurbished? Is it time to get past your fears and failures, your fear of failure, and go through the pain?

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I’m not so sure compartmentalizing is a good thing; but it is how I process and organize life in my head. Everything has a place and everything belongs in it’s place. I have enough OCD tendencies to be bothered by what isn’t in place. [it really should be CDO – duh, put them alphabetically!]

Remember that snow globe I talked about? well. since then it is as if someone has shaken my snow globe mercilessly, then pulled the plug so all the water drained out. Last week I felt as if I was the snowman in the globe: all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, everyone was looking at me [not really, just felt that way] and I needed to get my “stuff” [the snow all over, stuck to the sides, not where it belongs] put away. For several days I wasn’t sure if the globe had even been set down right-side up. I was that shaken.

All I could remember and focus on was:

Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

He is in control. All is for His glory.

He will meet me where I am. [it is not about what I can or can’t do]

Because of His grace and forgiveness, I get to spend eternity in heaven.

I couldn’t come up with references. I just knew them to be true facts and the core of my foundation. He met me where I was and didn’t expect me to get it right, let alone be perfect.

I did end up having an emotional breakthrough/breakdown with a dear group of women who prayed very graciously for my children & I – after I fell apart sobbing. Not something I appreciate doing, especially in a group. The Lord then gifted me with getting to have my two sweet nieces (2.5 & 3 mos) for a few hours that same day – I got to snuggle baby while we both slept. It was heavenly. I was exhausted as we continued the ‘normal’ routine of life. When I woke up the next morning feeling renewed & refreshed in life.

I’ve had five days of trying to get caught up on all the things I’d planned to do the first week of January. I hardly have commitments out of the house, but man you get a little bit behind and it is hard to catch up! So anyway – today. Today, I found out because of federal regulations, I have to have a ‘real’/finished floor in my living room.

Shouldn’t this be exciting?!

Instead I’m silly & grieving. Shame on me for being so whiny. But I really like my floor. I have it unfinished on purpose. My floor is a shabby painted plywood subfloor. It helps me think of my house as a cabin getaway, it is comforting to me to come home to.

Let me back up a bit, in August 2011 I ripped the carpet out of my living room. I hadn’t liked it for several years; it was 14 years old, I’d lived on it for the last 12 of those 14 years. I hadn’t liked it for about 9 of those 14 years. Got the point? I didn’t like the carpet. [I also suspected it was a large source of headaches for me. I’d been well being gone from home for 6 weeks, walked in the door and had an instant headache. It wasn’t just dislike for my carpet.] Well, there was a bit of mis-communication and I thought it was okay with my dad – as long as he didn’t get roped into bailing me out. After it was done and over, too late to go back – I found out this wasn’t the case. He was sure I would hate the plywood, I was sure I wouldn’t. I lived on the bare plywood for a while. [note: the reason my dad’s opinion matters is because, ultimately, it is his house. He really isn’t a freak. However, he does like things done right and finished all the way. He doesn’t do half jobs.]

Then I found $5 mistint paint in the perfect color & I did a horrible job painting, which just made it better! I have LOVED my living room floor. I feel as if my living room has character. Other than frustrating my dad, I have never, ever regretted ripping the carpet out. Not one teensy, weensy bit.

Yes, some would think my unfinished floor is icky.

No, it’s not perfect.

No, it’s not ‘normal’.

No it’s not polished.

No, it’s not finished.

Yes, there is a gap between the subfloor & the trim and there have been no trim pieces put in for transition into kitchen, bath, or bed room.

But, I love it just the way it is. It is reflective of me, and Jesus loves me just the way I am.

It has “character”. It makes me smile each time I come home. It feels comfy to me. If I like it then it should be fine – right?  Yes, I realize it is ‘normal’ to have finished floors, in particular most these days have laminate flooring. While, I would prefer laminate over carpet, I like the uniqueness of my floor. The freedom to not have to be worried about scratching it. It seldom looks dirty, even painted as light as it is. I love the laminate in my kitchen. But I really, really like my rough, painted, plywood floor.

However, “they” say it isn’t good enough. One person marked it on a form as unfinished, another won’t let it go.

So. Today, I am grieving the fact I have to put in a normal, finished floor.

Yes. I am silly, but I’m being honest.

For some reason WordPress isn’t uploading any pictures for me right now – and I want to go to bed. So, here is a recent’ish photo of the corner of my living room with my shabby painted floor. My floor I like. My floor I have to give up.

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Trust me when I say, it really may seem like no big deal as you read, but what I can’t explain in words is the emotional passage each of these events brings. Separated out over time we would have learned from, and moved on – with lots of time in between. Bumps in the roap, but not earth shattering. However, we haven’t had the privilege of time between events, we’ve had a matter of days between each event. The month has been intense enough that even my mom & sister-in-law who aren’t normally bothered/shaken by life events  have had a few shaky breaths lately {they process things quickly and are able to move on – I am not blessed with this gift, I am a slow processor whether big or small}. However, I want to repeat something my sister-in-law said – something beautiful, I really don’t want to forget.

This month, our family has just had multiple opportunities to see how much the Lord is protecting our family, each one of us. We’ve seen so much tangible evidence of how much worse it could have been and wasn’t. Just think, each instance. It could have been so much worse. Each time.

Isn’t she wise?

Let me ‘re-cap’ our month of January 2013:

Thursday, January 3rd – 11pm, mom & dad returned home safely from 3 weeks in the Philippines

Friday, January 4th – we did not have to plan a funeral in the USA.

a little later the same week – there was not a funeral associated with our family in the Philippines.

Friday, January 11th – our family was notified of a certain life altering, forever-changing event that will make itself felt in every future family gathering and extended family friend gathering for the rest of our lives. The ripple effect fall out has yet to begin. There is a whole new ‘normal’ for our family, there will NEVER be the thought of the previous normal, ever being present or happening again. Ever. This also triggered 30 years of emotional baggage I had no idea was still attached to me and waiting to be unpacked. It didn’t just unpack nicely onto the bed – it exploded. All consuming explosion.

Every truth & belief I have was stripped to, “Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

My life purpose is all for His glory. It is what I want. I am so thankful for His saving grace.

Thursday, January 17th – woke up from my first night of sleep in a week, with feeling & awareness of a new day. Honestly, from the 11-16th was a scary void. A place I’d rather not go again. I suspect the Lord is not done clearing out those suitcases, but He has graciously allowed me to put them aside though for a bit to get my footing again.

Saturday – phew! {deep breaths}. we made it through Friday. it’s been a week.

Tuesday, January 22nd – the last time I wrote. I got an email with the subject line of ‘here’s the bad news. I’ll call in a bit.’ It was dumb, but I really had to get over ‘losing’ my living room floor. Even now, it makes me teary. My floor is forever gone. My illusions of living in a cottage setting. Gone. {trying to come to grips & not just stuff emotion}

BUT – I did find a floor I can live with for a whoppin’ .68sf – once I got the underlayment and the transitional trim into the three rooms I was at a grand total of $1.30sf!

Wednesday, January 23rd – woke up to my 15 year old having the flu. {am I horrible mom to have relished that one day of peace between the siblings? please, tell me no.}

Thursday, January 24th – Vince was still sick. I’m bummed for him, however. Now I had to move all the furniture out on my own! just great. I did manage, with great help from Christine, to get the 4 bookcases, 3 desks, 4 computers & paraphernalia, TV & paraphernalia, millions of CDs & DVDs {yes, I might be exaggerating. a little}, all the books from those bookcases, and all the stuff from those desks – everything but the couch & lamp – into my bedroom by 3pm! I wasn’t sure when the contractor was coming to lay the floor. Christine went to bed early not feeling well, so I slept on my couch ‘cuz I didn’t want to get sick. By the end of the evening, I felt as if an elephant was sitting on my chest, I fell asleep thinking “I should take an allergy pill”. I didn’t get up to take one. {please note: the above picture shows 2 of the 4 bookcases, none of the desks, DVDs, CDs, or the TV or computers!}

Friday, January 25th – Vince & Christine both out for the count with the flu & I felt horrible. But we still needed to find a fire door & I needed to pick up the trim for the transition into the different rooms. By the time I got back I felt even more horrible. All I could think was seriously, all 3 of us – the flu – now?! I wasn’t convinced I had the flu, I don’t typically get sick. I just don’t feel well & usually can just sleep it off. I chalked it up to allergies, stress, tired… Friday night I slept with Christine in mom & dad’s king size bed, with a pillow width wall of blankets & pillows between us. I didn’t want to get sick :-D.

Saturday, January 26th – Christine makes a gallant effort to help me. She thought she felt better. The floor is finished up but by then neither of us has the energy to try to put anything back. Old door cut out, fire door installed. Dust from cutting flooring in my kitchen, cutting sheetrock, cutting out old door, installing new door, my ‘new’ entry all cleaned up. I give up. I think I am sick. We go to bed knowing none of us will be getting up to go to church. Vince was still sick, Christine was re-lapsing, and I was just starting.

Sunday, January 27th – don’t remember, I think we all just slept through it. Basically. I did muster enough energy to go to the store to get orange juice & kleenex. I remember thinking Vince must be a bit better – he was talking back to the TV. and laughing. I desperately wanted to get things put back where they belong, but couldn’t get up for more than a couple minutes at a time.

Monday, January 28th – again, I think we basically just slept through the day. Vince was still sick (all his talking back wore him out). Again, not able to get things put away. Each day my goal was just to get my bed cleared off, so I could sleep in my own bed. The house inspection was supposed to happen, about 1pm I found out it wasn’t going to. I laid down on the couch & didn’t get up again until I climbed into bed.

Tuesday, January 29th – we’re all still pretty miserable, but in different stages of getting well. Vince is finally better. I felt a bit twitchy. After all, it had been a week since the last ‘big news’ and we’ve all been sick, my house was still upside-down, I was still sleeping with Christine because I couldn’t get to my bed. I found out about 3:30 the house inspection wasn’t going to happen again. By 7:30pm I’m thinking about heading to bed. …but at 7:44pm I got a text from mom – my brother & sister-in-law’s house was broken into and they were robbed, while they slept! No one was hurt. The thief broke the window & screens and pulled what they could through the approx. 12″x18″ openings between the window bars.

purse. drivers license. ATM card. camera. cell phone. brother’s iPhone. house keys. car keys. all gone.

They don’t usually carry cash- but she’d just taken cash out earlier in the day.

He usually has the iPhone upstairs – it’s their alarm. She usually hangs her purse elsewhere. that night she didn’t.

These items were left on their kitchen table. inside their house. inside the locked gate. and a 6′ wall with barbed wire & broken glass on top.

The thief didn’t even bother to bring their own supplies – they cut the clothes line & used the wire to ‘fish’ the things from the table. even the iPhone. Thanks to the wonder of Skype, I got to talk to my sister-in-law yesterday – they have all new house locks (3 or 4 of them per door) and their car has all new locks and the remote start has even been changed. They feel very safe, secure, and fortunate. She said it is an eye-opener, a reminder. They let their guard down, but weren’t hurt. They are American. They are a target. Always will be. They are rich. Even if they aren’t rich, because they are American’s they have connections. That equates to richness. We take our ‘connection’s’ for granted.

So, today is the last day of January and other than emotionally, I can’t say I am any further ahead in life than I was on the 31st of December 2012.

Who are you connected to? Are you connected to a Heavenly Father who loves you beyond what you can imagine or think?

Do you remember to NOT take this connection for granted?

We have to purpose to give Him the glory.

To keep our connection with Him fresh. pliable. moldable to all He wants to teach us.

The post January 2013…is it over yet? appeared first on Flowers&Rust Co..

First: before pictures of living room/office space and the messes. Messes are a reality of life for me. I’m not proud of it, but I am a vertical filer on horizontal surfaces. I don’t like the overall look, but it is organized and how I function – I can find what I need in a matter of moments/seconds. Almost always. So, when I painted my floor {still not yet posted} I re-arranged to the way you see it in more recent posts. A ‘divided’ living area from the office. The couch was the divider. The problem {as you’ll soon see} was the ‘office’ was like 4’x10′ – not real functional. Often Christine would sit on the couch with a card table set up….uh, that was real nice to look at [not!].

1) Vince’s desk   2) My desk   3) Christine’s desk

 **now, it’s over 24 hours later…I wish I knew why there are times WordPress just will not upload a picture [or 10]! It says a limit of 128MB – I’m trying to upload 500KBs! What is going on…..**

1) sickie on the couch  2) Vince’s desk open

This is the straight-on mess of the office. As clean as I could ever get it. Between the hot pink chair & bookshelf = 18″ Yea…kinda not fun since it was the ‘doorway’ to my desk – why Christine usually sat at the couch, but Vince was sick this day so she had to sit at her desk. You can see #1 [on the far left]) is the back of Vince’s desk  2) the pile of stuff I couldn’t ever find a home for. Drove me nuts. every. single. day. but I knew about 98% of what was there and exactly where it was.  3 [top right side]) all my screen savers, blank CDs, photo backups.

This is the doorway immediately to the right side of where I was standing. It goes into the bedroom. The bedroom and living room are the same size, 13.5′ x 13.5′.  1) my bed  2) my sewing ‘room’  3) Christine’s bed.

Christine was such a trooper and helped so much! This is what my living room looked like in about 3 hours. We moved 3 desks, 4 bookshelves, 4 computers & paraphernalia, TV/Blu-Ray player/DTV/Apple TV & all their paraphernalia [for not being a TV watcher – you wouldn’t know by the amount of stuff!], CDs/DVDs, all the books from the bookshelves, and all the stuff from the desks into my bedroom. Do you see the circular worn spot? That is from my office chair – just to give you relational perspective. Can you see my floor was just painted plywood? I loved it. I miss it.

This is what my bed looked like. For a week! By the time the floor was finished, CJ & I were down with the flu and I just couldn’t get things put back. Because of course, it ALL needed a new home. I knew the other way wasn’t working, but hadn’t been putting thought into how to change it yet – there were other more pressing issues in life & I was just living with it.

The picture above is to the left behind my TV & the iMac you can see. This door way is what I could see — for several days. I was so excited Pandora still worked on the TV, even without being plugged into the cable/wall/internet. LOVE wireless!

This was the new floor at the end of the first evening.

=== === ===

This is what it looks like today. I do think the floor is pretty – but I miss my other floor. I don’t love this floor like I did the other. This one looks good, looks normal, looks like what everyone thinks a floor should look like. I now worry about scratching, denting, dinging the floor. and it’s slippery! We vacuum, ‘swifter’ it every other day now. [I say swifter – actually, I just use the handle and put microfiber cloths on it & use vinegar/eucalyptus oil & water in a spray bottle to clean.  This is the same amount of stuff [we did take out a tote of books], minus one shelving unit. The one the TV used to sit on was really bugging me. This was my opportunity to get rid of it. So I did. Again – 1) Vince’s desk  2) my desk  3) Christine’s desk

See the brown pillow on the far left in the above picture? That is where I was sitting to take the next picture, with my head pressed as far back as possible so I could get the width of the room.  1) bedroom door  2) bathroom [obviously] 3) door to go do to the garage, or straight through to my parents’  4) outside door to my deck  5) the books still without a home  6) top two ‘drawers’ [bins] Vince’s stuff; bottom shelf, where current year homeschool books are living  7) toy box for any littles who come to visit  8) basket with remotes  9) cords & stuff for connecting computers to TV  10) Pandora – of course. my stereo. I love my music all day. We don’t watch much TV, but do have the ability of connecting iTouches/computers to TV to watch movies, listen to the kids’ music, or numerous stories.

The first view someone sees when walking into my house. This is standing at point 3 from the above picture (thankfully they don’t see my desk immediately, really soon, but not immediate). Off to my right is the pantry and the left is the rolly cart that replaced our kitchen table. There just wasn’t room to have a kitchen table and have all 3 of us sit at it and still move in the kitchen, it is 44″ from frig to stove. The bookshelf on the left against the frig was a temp move – but we all like it there. Vince said it makes our kitchen look ‘sophisticated’ :-D.  The two woods are okay. Not my favorite, but liveable. They compliment each other and I like they are perpendicular to each other. I didn’t want it to look like I tried to match them – at all.

The post More on my floor & living room/office appeared first on Flowers&Rust Co..

Five Minute Friday’s word: In between.

We are home.

Home from the Philippines. After two months in another country.

It is good to be back. It is weird to be back. Everything is so ‘normal’, as if we never left. Yet, we have grown and experienced a once-in-a-lifetime event.

I have unpacked, but not put stuff away.

When in the Philippines we lived in a 3 bedroom house, it was the first time Christine and I haven’t shared a room in her life (unless you count the 7 months we lived in WI and she shared a room with Vince). Why am I talking about bedrooms? Because we are making a room for Christine. Christine is going to have her own room for the first time in her life!

When we came home, within 72 hours we had six dentist/doctor appointments (& multiple friend connections), re-packed and headed to the cabin for a week.

Then we came home and unpacked again.

Still not putting stuff away.

We’ve been picking paint, cleaning out, sorting, planning. As many of you know, NONE of those activities promotes clean, organized bliss.

As with any building project – there is mess. lots of mess.

Unpacking, sorting, staging. waiting.

Waiting for A [bedroom stuff] to move to new location, so B [office/homeschool stuff] can move into A’s space, so C [numerous resulting piles] can move into B’s new home in A’s original space – so I can finish putting away what I unpacked.

Because of living in this in between state I haven’t been posting here. It has not been an intentional break. First I was locked out, but then I just couldn’t get to the computer [because of above mentioned piles]. Not just physical piles, but mental piles I can’t quite seem to sort through to make any kind of sense. I am ready to be fully moved back in and put away. I am ready for our routine. Even though I don’t have any idea what the routine for the new year will look like yet.

What I do know: my home will feel new. Again.

To have a new space means: a like new office; moving my sewing stuff around; cleaning out the closet.

Once I have my office space set means: I can plan the next year of school. and get income coming in.

It also means: once school does start we won’t be sitting on top of each other all. day. long. every. day.

I had NO idea how nice it is for each child to do some school work on their own, in their own room, each with their own music on. [remember my children are older and we’re on 10+ years of homeschool – they do a lot on their own, not needing my help. I still want us to all work together on some things, and computers aren’t allowed in rooms.]

While I anticipate having my own room (for the first time in almost 20 years!); it does make me kind of sad. There was comfort in not ‘going to check’ on her; I knew by her breathing how she was sleeping. However, she is a month from turning 13 [HOW is this possible?!]. It is time. She needs her space. It has been a bit awkward for her to have friends over – I’ve slept on the couch so they could have the room, but that always made her feel weird. As if she was ‘kicking’ me out of my bed by having a sleepover. It has worked, and it could still work. But my dad was willing to build a temporary wall and she will have her own space. Painted with BRIGHT paints.

This month has brought lots of transition, lots of in between, a bit of uncertainty.

I’m also going to take this opportunity to note some things I have learned in June. I am planning to link up with Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky.

What have I learned in June?

• It’s hard to transition from another country to being home. (we are superficial in many things, but I appreciate more too)
• Life has continued as ‘normal’ for everyone else, while I feel as if we’ve had HUGE changes. (It feels a bit time-warpy.)
• It takes a l.o.n.g. time to process what you learn when traveling to a 3rd world country. (I wonder if we really went & we’ve been home less than 3 weeks!)
• I do like my home – my dark paints, the coziness of being small. (I’m so thankful for the white walls to see the lizards I was sharing a room with though, my walls here would creep me out there for sure!)
• It is bittersweet to loose my “roommate” after 13 years. (tell me this is normal, please)
• 80s colors [neon] are still appealing to middle schoolers. We are painting Christine’s room Secret Passage, with Hang Ten; Lime Passion; and Scrumptious. (better known as: really light gray; good ‘ol turquoise; uh. glowing green; and “coral”)
• It is hard to get a good coral paint. On the small card it looks good, on the wall – it’s HOT pink! (Yep, repainted those shelves to be turquoise.)
• It takes A LOT of ‘lime passion’ to cover – even over white primer. It still looks like a yellow/green glow stick. (so very glad I don’t have to use that bathroom, she probably won’t need the light)
• It is GOOD to take time out to just be. Even in your ‘normal’ environment. (With no job it can be hard to rest. still daily working on this.)

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The thing I have found: when trying to clean up one mess, I make another. usually the cleaning up, organizing, re-evaluating mess is worse than when I started.

Have you ever noticed that? Have you noticed when there is something ugly inside needing to come out, it gets worse before it gets better. Ugh!  So glad God is in charge of the purifying process. I’d chicken out of the final firing, I’m sure of it.

So, here are my house messes I’m working on getting in order. Right now I can’t find the kitchen pictures. I will, but for now you get the living room, bedroom, old “office”, and new shelves. This office mess is the accumulation of an insane campaign summer, recoup time, then tearing it apart as we started school. My goal was to get our living room, 2 desk areas, and an office into our 1 living room. {Besides just the “a place for everything & everything in it’s place” idea.}

Please don’t judge me [seriously]. Yes, it is bad. Which is why it was so overwhelming to tear into. I knew it would get worse [way worse] before it would be better, and it would take hours. days. weeks. before it ‘felt’ right or comfortable. We are so tightly shoe-horn packed in I always have to measure first, but sometimes it’s just too tight to be feasible.

My desk/office {3’x4′ corner of my living room} at the end of the campaign….

The ‘new’ living room {14’x14′} with 2 desk areas and office space…. not done, but getting closer…. {example of measuring but too tight of space. See my desk chair on the far right? Yes, it fit. Yes, I could sit at the desk. Buuut, I couldn’t stand in front of the chair to reach and turn on the light (I’m 5’1″)….but to move the desk the 2″ further from the wall, I had to move the couch 2″ to the left. To move the couch, the rug had to slide over 2″. To slide the rug, the trunk had to be off it, there isn’t enough space over between the bookshelf, blue chair and end of couch for the trunk…. When the living room floor is only 5′ wide – can you imagine how much stuff had to move to be able to move the trunk? That is why it takes so long to get all the pieces of our home puzzle in the right place, facing the right direction, in a way all 3 of us like.}

What the living room re-do did to our bedroom {13’x14′}….See off to the left in the above picture? Ya, that would be a beautiful roll top desk under those stacked books….after a month the books never looked any different, so I realized it was going to have to go. It just couldn’t hold or organize enough in my space to make it work, no matter how much I love it….. {perspective: door on my left, closet behind me, daughter’s bed to my right, sewing to my right front of picture, my bed straight ahead behind pile/under stacks of books.} In case you are wondering – yes, apparently, I have a book addiction. so does my son. so does my daughter….. hmmm.

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So, once I got the labels done – I printed it on a sheet of labels I had and used about 18″ of contact paper, also something I have on hand…so, essentially free :-D, my kind of project!

I simply put the label on my containers, then so I could wipe them off and re-name if wanted, I covered them with a piece of contact paper.

  

I didn’t know some of my flours need to be refrigerated, so I did a little rearranging there too.  I believe with the labels my Gluten Free stuff is less likely to get contaminated.  My family just doesn’t get it, not to be mean, but just not thinking about it.  I’m hoping with the red containers and ‘GF’ written on containers that are needing to stay Gluten Free it helps them stop and think before using.  For twelve years mom’s pantry has been my go-to if I ran out, and my pantry has been her go-to…that is a hard habit to break.   I’m not even trying to break it, just re-train.  I’m hoping with the shelves labeled my kids will be better about helping keep the pantry clean.

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{Important Note} I want to make a simple statement with complex depth – I know I am incredibly blessed.Not only does my immediate family get along well and love each other incredibly; my extended family is no different.There are now 29 of us (first cousins, spouses, and children) plus our 2 sets of parents; we have an amazing family heritage that none of us take for granted.We currently live in 3 states; 6 towns/cities; and 2 countries.

(our 2011 continued…)

mid-June: We landed late Friday night the 16th, my cousin J picked us up and took us to their house. My aunt & uncle were there as well for overnight because they’d driven up from Madison, WI. Saturday morning we all (11 of us – 5 adults + 6 children) piled into two suburbans and drove to N & C’s, house 2 hours away.We spent a couple days there with all of us (18) in one house and had a blast!

A little note of explanation: I grew up with my two brothers, three boy cousins (there are two more cousins, but I didn’t grow up with them), and family friends with three boys. At the time my cousins lived just up the road from us, I have many fond memories of all our family gatherings. They were good years with many good times. Now, 25+ years later we all have children and our kids all get along very well. Eight years ago my kids and I were living in my old childhood home to help take care of my grandparents (my dad’s parents). Three weeks after we got there my grandma passed away; shortly after my grandpa started kidney dialysis three times per week. My kids and I were able to stay on and help with his adjustment of not having grandma after nearly 60 years of marriage and the effects of dialysis. At that time N & C lived across the field and we got to know each other real well; it was so much fun.It was fun to have an adult relationship with my cousin; his wife, C, and I get along real well and have similar interests.

Then we went multiple directions for the week. My aunt & uncle returned to Madison and my kids and I followed J & K back to their house, near the border of MN and WI. It was really fun to hang out with J & K and their kids. We didn’t know them as well because we hadn’t had the chance while living with Grandpa to spend time together. On Monday evening K & I, with the kids, joined J at the Science Museum in Minneapolis. WOW! We’ve never been to such a big museum – it was a ton of fun. J explained so much more to the kids and made it so much fun – Science is his thing. 🙂 The rest of the week was spent getting to know each other better, late night visits, and my first antique store visit – in general lots of just hanging out together. It was cool & rainy and so much fun to spend the time just drinking coffee, visiting, and holding baby Gregory. One day we went to walk along the river, but there was a painting class all set up along the bank and at the “mouth” of the trail we had planned to walk – because it was cold & windy we decided not to disturb them to get 6 children past, just to turn around and come back … but we got good cousin pictures by the bridge :-)!

On Friday, my kids & I headed out to Madison on our own. It was very strange, it is landscape I recognize, remember, and love – so much farm country; yet it seemed so foreign too. We drove it several times when we were living there six years ago, but this time it was just us – without Grandpa. We went to Madison to celebrate my Uncle’s retirement. It was a wonderful weekend with many friends and family. Saturday morning a family friend (my aunts best friend) invited all of us to breakfast, then she took Christine & I to the capital for a tour. I didn’t know this was an interest of Christine’s but she LOVED it!  Then we went to Hobby Lobby (my first time ever!), we had to be quick …it was so hard. There was so much that was fun, but it wouldn’t fit in my luggage to get back to Alaska! When we got back to the house, N & C had arrived with their kids. My aunt & uncle’s landlord are very good friends of theirs; they have lived side-by-side in the duplex for nearly 20 years. Anyway, the landlord’s friends had invited us (kids and our children) to use their pool on Saturday afternoon. All of the kids loved the heated pool on a beautiful, sunny day. They played hard for a couple hours. Then we all went back and started to get everything finished up for Sunday’s party. C and I ran out to get a few more groceries and other items needed for the party. We did sneak another quick trip into Hobby Lobby, then Wal-mart, and brought back dinner. Sunday after church was the retirement party, clean up, and a late evening bonfire. So many friends and family were there, some I hadn’t seen since I was in 6^th grade. Then on Monday the guys were doing some packing and loading trucks, so we girls (16 of us) went to Olbrich Gardens. It was so much fun. My aunt, cousin, Christine & I went when we visited with Grandpa once and it was fun to go back. The rest of them had gone in different groups over the last year as well. When we got back to the house it was time for lunch and then N, C, and I with all our children (7 total) piled into the two vehicles and headed north. Only two came with C & I in the car, N took the other 5 and pulled the trailer. It was fun – so much happened in such a short amount of time!

N and C live near where I spent many happy childhood years growing up in northern Wisconsin. We spent the week hanging out, they live on a lake and the kids were wet and/or fishing most of every day. Tuesday evening C & I drove an hour to Sam’s Club in Duluth, MN, just to find they had closed a half hour before we got there. We were getting the groceries needed for the upcoming 4^th of July weekend…so we did a little other shopping and headed back home knowing we’d head back up Friday morning when the guys were going to go south to get a bunch of wheat. The weekend ahead was going to be 30 of us all staying at the same house. We spent the next couple days just relaxing and enjoying hanging out, much like the week prior – just a different family of cousins. Thursday night we had a plan and all was going well – my uncle would be coming in early AM, from Madison, and the guys, all of them even the 2 year old, were going to drive south to get the wheat. By noon, C & I and the 4 girls (ages 12, 10, 9, & 7) were going to drive north to do a girl day of shopping and get the groceries we didn’t get on Tues. The other 19 family/friends would then arrive Saturday morning.

July 1^st – 6:45am Friday morning started a bit stressful and not very fun, and the day went downhill from there – with an absolutely wonderful afternoon in the middle. So, very early in the morning N realized the water pump had gone out during the night. He was able to get a hold of a family friend who has a plumbing business, he said he’d stop by on his way to another job. He actually had the part and was able to get the pump fixed and up and running. Then we all loaded up to head out, the guys to the south and the girls to the north. We girls had a blast; I have never been on a shopping trip like that before. So much fun to just go from girly place to girly place and hear our girls’ hearts being filled with love just from hangin’ with us. We even found a few good deals and some more summer clothes (we hadn’t taken cool enough clothes for mid-west summer). When we walked out of the mall it was starting to sprinkle, one of the little ones was so excited to have a new umbrella and wanted to use it….well, the rain went from little sprinkles to DUMPING about half way to the car! She got to use her umbrella and many were taking cover with her before getting to the car. Those of us not under the umbrella were soaked, thoroughly. It continued to dump, hard. We decided to not go to a restaurant for dinner, but just head to Sam’s Club, the girls were all so content they were fine with just eating at Sam’s. We got our groceries and when we were leaving Sam’s it was raining so hard C could barely see while driving down the hill out of Duluth and across the bridge. It was about 7pm and we were headed back towards the house, but first needed to stop at Wal-mart (in Superior) to get a few more items. By the time we got to town we were aware there was really unfriendly weather all around us. Icky colored sky and dumping rain with thunder & lightening. We started hearing on the news there were tornado warnings and the wind was starting to blow like crazy….We were doing lots of praying and singing along with KLOVE to keep from going totally over the edge of being freaked. We knew Who was in control of all the circumstances and we just kept reminding ourselves & each other. C was in contact with her family who were camped at a campground near her house and found out they had just been told to leave, she told them to all go to her house even though there was no power in the area. In talking to C’s brother-in-law, who was on his way to her house (instead of the campground), he had to cut his way down the highway with his chainsaw. Okay, we were freaked. However, God had everything so orchestrated — we met up with our guys at the crossroads of the two highways – us driving south, them coming north, and we all needed to drive east. We were able to pass them some snacks and then we were off; from that point on we followed them. As they drove north they saw the mass destruction from the storm, where we came from the north and it was just rain. As we followed them, we often had to drive on the opposite side of the road because only the tops of the trees had been cut and that was just to clear one side of the road. By the time we got to the house it was 10pm. (what should have been a 30-45 min drive had been nearly 2 hours) There were three trees across the driveway that C’s BIL cut to get into the driveway. We then had to unload all the groceries in the pitch black with just headlights and flashlights to see with. All the freezer/frig food was sorted so it could all be put into the frig/freezer at once. As we drove and saw the destruction we knew the power would not be back on any time soon. The next morning the guys got us a generator and the rest of our family came. We proceeded to have a wonderful weekend! We spent the 4^th of July floating down the Namekagon River (and getting majorly sunburned!).

The rest of our time was spent enjoying each other; coffee and diet coke with lime; lots of hanging out; visiting; coffee and diet coke; swimming; fishing; enjoying the pontoon boat, with coffee or diet coke (of course) depending on time of day – morning, afternoon, or evening. After all the other families returned to their homes and we got the house back into order after a weekend of no water or power, but LOTS of fellowship; C and I took the kids into Superior. Superior is where I spent seven wonderful years of childhood; it was so fun to see places that are familiar and things really haven’t changed much. It’s not a city. I got to go into my first ever quilt store with the intention of buying material. We let the kids watch a movie in the car while we went in – it was soooo much fun to see all the variety, choose some, and then actually purchase it! {That could be addicting!!!!} I’m used to going in to touch and feel, but not buy. I’ve typically purchased fabric from Jo-Ann’s and their selection of good feeling material is much smaller {sigh} Anyway, the next day we went to another town half way to J & K’s (we had to do some return kid swapping) and went into an antique store, another quilt store and then the three of us took all 11 children to see Cars2. In the end the three youngest didn’t do so well in the movie, so it was eight children and myself who watched it all then walked the couple blocks to the scrapbook store……oh, the fun of tons of kids and family and all being together. Love it! After that, we had just a week of hanging and being slow when it was time to pack and head to J & K’s again for the last couple days. J was gone on a business trip so C and her kids joined in staying at J & K’s. The last couple days was more hanging (with coffee and diet coke with lime), packing (with coffee and diet coke with lime), and visiting (with more coffee and diet coke with lime) – what we didn’t do was sleep. The last afternoon K took the kids & I to the airport – it was so hard to say goodbye. Is it not a most amazing blessing to spend a month with family and still have it hard to say goodbye – on both sides?! Thank you C and K for your amazing, generous, and kind hearts – I love you both so much!

Rest of July & August:We flew back to Alaska on the 15^th. Within 18 hours of landing (at 11pm) we had come home, unpacked, washed laundry, slept a couple hours, got up, re-packed, re-loaded the van and headed to our family cabin six hours away. It is a six hour drive, then a half hour boat ride, then a half mile hike up the hill…At that point, I slept. Two days later Vince turned 14! Two days after that Christine, my mom, and I headed back home.Vince stayed to work on the new cabin with my dad. Once home again I started some house projects and minimal organizing…as well as finishing unpacking and actually putting some stuff away.(Finally, just three days ago I finished putting away some things from our trip that I’d unpacked, set down, and never got back to!) I actually started my first house project I’ve wanted to do for several years. I will post more on this later, but the end of July I ripped out my living room carpet! My dad wasn’t (still isn’t) impressed. I love it! My living room is just the plywood sub-floor (now painted), but I love it, Love IT, LOVE IT!

September: Before I knew it, it was time to start school! Then an opportunity came up for Vince and I to join my dad on a trip to Washington DC. I was so excited! I have wanted to go to Washington DC and the East Coast for forever (seriously, since I was like 8). Many hours were spent deciding what we would do in our time there. September went really fast with all kinds of life – cleaning, school, the fair, work, some projects, and lots of DC planning.

October: We had four days of exploring and a day before and after for travel days. Did you know that it takes 10 hours to get from Anchorage to DC and that was with a fairly quick stop over in Seattle; the trip back took us 18 hours! (we had an added stop over in LA) Christine stayed with mom; she didn’t want to go with us – she didn’t want to do the massive walking we were going to be doing. It was really cool to go and be with Vince; he was amazing on the subway! There were times I got a bit freaked about how far below ground we were – and going under a river – ack! We never got lost- once we were a block off from where we thought we’d come up from underground, but yea for my iPhone – we were able to find our location in moments. We didn’t make it into as many of the Smithsonian’s as I would have tried to see; I let Vince be the ‘driver’ of where we went and what we saw. We went to the Air & Space Museum – twice :-D! We stood in line and went into the Capital, but once we were inside we decided we really wanted to wait for someday, with Christine. She loves seeing capital buildings. It was close to 70* each day, we didn’t bring cool enough clothes – it was October. I brought layers, but the lightest ones were more than we needed. We were warm and walked lots! By the time we returned from DC we were four weeks from my brother Zach and his wife and kids to come home from the Philippines. This was the magical month I got to get my new camera – a Nikon D3100! So excited and anxious to learn more!! Lots more house projects, organizing, and cleaning were started, but I also had an unexpected increase in my work load which really changed things up.

November & December: Zach, Jane, and their kids arrived on the 7^th of November. Since then it has been lots of family – all day, every day. Five adults, five children, three generations, three sets of parents, three sets of siblings, two spousal sets, and a set of cousins all living in the same main 1600sf house (my apartment and the cabin in the back yard are not included in that) makes for fun times. When my other brother, his wife, and their little one come here that adds another parental set, spousal set, and cousin set to the mix of our immediate family of 13. We have had an incredibly, abundantly more than we could imagine, family-full holiday season. In November I was able to get my new sewing machine – for 14 years I’ve used a 1942 Viking Husqvarna. I still love that machine greatly – however, I really needed more than straight front and back stitching. {I’m sure more will come on this later :-D} Within three weeks it will be just my brother Matt and his family and my kids and I here. We will be back to living in two countries and two towns in Alaska. Crazy how accessible the world is now. I remember when cheap communication was snail mail and that took at least a week to get from the lower 48 to Alaska…now we can instantly talk to family via video when they’re in the Philippines – for free.

And that wraps up 2011. None of what I have written even goes into all the personal growth I experienced this last year, or even so many things I learned. What I feel comfortable broadcasting on the internet will come out in bits and pieces as time goes by I’m sure. For now though this is a nutshell of the big events of our last year.

….notice none of this very long winded year in review covered anything basic like crafting, organizing, home school, and being a mom to two. :-D! I promise, I won’t have more posts that are this long winded. And, I will start putting in photos of projects that have happened around this house over the last year and new projects I’ve been working on — like the doll clothes I made last week. So fun! Thanks for reading – if you’ve actually read all of this you’ve learned more about me :-).

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