today’s word: Brave

START: As I’ve said before, I’ve had to face some things this year that have been very dark and ugly – my sin, others’ sin and living the repercussions of both. Because of someone else’s sin, someone I love dearly but now struggle to separate from a sin I have always considered the worst of the worst, because of that persons life choice – I’ve had to face down some ugly fears and untruths in my own life. Fears and untruths I believed for 30 years, I sinned by believing these things.

To heal, I needed quiet and lots of time with the Lord. I needed to step away from the noise of our online world. Even though I was reading good things, my heart was parched dry  – it was like a flash flood. Words of healing couldn’t even soak in, but as I took a break, gave myself more breathing room and it took time to let real truths soak in, I am starting to feel replenished. I couldn’t sort what was okay to say and what wasn’t; what was okay to think and feel and what wasn’t. In the meantime, in February I sent out support letters and as a result and by God’s grace and the generosity of others – my children and I are in the Philippines.

I have never been out of the country (not counting driving thru Canada or into Mexico for a few hours). I’ve never been in extreme areas of poverty. I’ve not known how other cultures live and work. I don’t know another language besides English. {I can’t even understand English when it is spoken with an accent.} I only know American dollars. I have to eat gluten free. I’m in a country that doesn’t understand gluten free – even though their natural foods are gluten free; they use lots of soy sauce.

Days before leaving I had a women say I was brave to come, by myself with my children. I don’t feel brave. I’m here because I can help my brother, his wife, and their three children. I don’t think bravery is intentional. My little understanding of ‘being brave’ is to totally give it all up to a Heavenly Father who knows. He knows what is best for us. He knows His perfect plan for my/our life. He knows what my body has rejected and how it rejects it. He knows and He cares. STOP

As a result of relaxing in Him:

• I have had 3 weeks of living with a house helper. Such an amazing thing. Something I certainly haven’t ever experienced in the States. Having consistent help keeping a clean house. Oh my! Getting to live in a clean house – and there is time in each day to sit and do nothing. What a blessing!
• Two weekends ago we piled a lot of us into a very small boat, went up river and swam for several hours, then on our way back we stopped at a bit of beach with a mini rainforest hidden in the trees. Then we watched massive amounts of bats come out of their cave for their nightly hunt.
• A week ago we went to a tribal village. {Oh my! More will come of that later. I’m still processing.}
• Last weekend I hiked thru a bit of jungle, walked in a river, and climbed a waterfall. {I’m not overly fond of being in water, and for sure am afraid of what lives in it. I’m not fond of living creatures of any kind in all these many places.} All firsts. All in the same five hours.
• All week I’ve eaten yellow and red watermelon and pineapple for breakfast.
• Today I watched my son cut a batch of coconuts from the tree in our backyard.
• Tomorrow I will see the Pacific Ocean like I’ve never seen it before. We will ‘live in’ swimsuits for the next 48 hours.

Every single one of these is something I’ve never ever dreamed I would experience. So abundantly more than I could have ever imagined or dreamed. I’m starting to feel alive again. Below is a for real treefort. I saw it with my own eyes – isn’t it amazing?!

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Song

GO:: My first thought – I can’t sing, at least not out loud. I pretty much always have a song – more acurately a tune – in my mind.

Here in the Philippines, there are so many songs – all happening at once.
there are the roosters.
the dogs.
the traffic.
horns honking.
the occasional siren.
kids singing. kids talking. kids playing
and always, always multiple fans.
rain on a tin roof. [marvelous]
[every once in a while all the other song sounds diminish enough to hear] the birds’ songs.
I love hearing birds chirping, singing their heart song. there are so many different birds here.

my brain and ears get tired sometimes. other times it has just become ‘white’ noise.

Last weekend we got to spend time out in the tribe for 4 days, there the overall song was so different, more like home [in some ways, in others it was still a world away].

there were waves crashing – day and night.
adults speaking in different languages.
kids singing. kids talking. kids playing.
kids speaking in different languages – in play and work.
and so many, many birds. all with a different song.
there were times we could hear the breezes rustling in the coconut tree leaves.
and the rain gently falling. or dumping.
it was blissful.

I look forward to the sounds of home. Similar in some ways yet so very different, but they will all be familiar.  ::STOP

Can you hear the breezes in the Coconut trees and the birds chirping their song?

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1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

White sand beach thru my sunglasses.

Today’s prompt: View

GO:: My view has been changing lately. Being in a different country for more than a couple week visit has been eye opening.

• I’ve seen things I never thought I’d see with my own eyes.
• I’ve done things I didn’t think I’d ever have the opportunity to do.
• I’ve done things I have haven’t done in 25 years. Things I was afraid of.

My view has changed in my eyes as well as in my heart. I’m looking forward to things I haven’t thought I would look forward to again. All based on my perspective and a new view to focus on. Through it all, I want to keep my eyes focused on my Heavenly Father. This is all for nothing if it isn’t for His glory. His purpose. Relationship with Him. I want that view to be the lasting sight I see and know, that my children see and know. I want them to grow up into adults understanding our views change. and that is okay. But He is the same – yesterday, today, and forever! No matter what my view is. :: STOP

Philippine Coast – 5,000 miles south of Alaska.

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Interestingly enough, I have had quite the issues with posting today. First of all, when I first tried – I was locked out of my WP dashboard, something about brute force attack. I left, I didn’t want to deal with any coding anything to make anything work. Then tonight I came back & logged in effortlessly. I got all done with the post, saved, previewed & clicked somewhere & lost EVERYTHING. The post, preview & all ‘save drafts’. How annoying is that?!

So, with that whining out of the way, :-D, I’m going to try this again, but in all reality – this post has been way more than 5 minutes. I had good intentions, does that count? I’m tired and feel as if I’ve done this so many times now it seems silly…but I’m doing it anyway!

So. today’s post: Imagine

Three and a half months ago I was exhausted, drained, beyond worn out by life. I couldn’t imagine summer coming, I couldn’t look forward to it – there were too many unknowns. Since August I’d been mightly praying about the opportunity to support my brother, his wife, and their 3 children while on the mission field.

This was one of three burning prayers in my heart & mind.

In November I found out we were approved as short term missionaries from our church to be sent as support to the Philppines – we just needed to raise the rest of our support. At that point I was facing my son getting braces, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and I was unemployed.

I couldn’t imagine leaving for a trip of any kind, let alone to a foreign country. I wasn’t sure it was even responsible for me to think about. I put it off until after the holidays, then we had January 2013. The most brutal month of the last 10 years. All in one fell swoop. In February I sent out letters to let others know our desire to support my brother … in God’s goodness we knew by the end of February we had the funds to come. Even though I was still unemployed and we’d taken most of the month of February to recuperate from January, it was evident it was the right time. I got our tickets in early-mid March and we’ve now been here nearly two months.

The last several weeks have been a tangible example to me of Ephesians 3:17-21:

“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith – that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be fill with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.”

Do you see what I see?

• I am rooted & grounded in love.
• The love of Christ surpasses knowledge.
• I can be filled with the fullness of God.
• He is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think.
• According to His power.
• All of this is for HIS GLORY

That is a lot of promises. The thing is – He doesn’t pick & choose which ones He’ll actually make good on. He meant every one of them! Just take a moment to imagine that.

That prayer mentioned up there at the beginning – He answered it far more abundantly than I could have ever imagined. Yes, He provided the funds. Yes, He made all plans come together without too much hassle. What I didn’t think to ask was for the freedom from so many fears and bondages I’ve lived within. [I so wish the ‘other’ post hadn’t disappeared. I had it worded pretty well, but it’s gone now.]

I have renewed hope. I am excited about the coming summer. I am looking forward to life again. I am hopeful for the answers to the other two HUGE  prayer requests, I feel encouraged to renew my hope and pray those prayers. I will be okay with His plan. I don’t feel desperate to know the answers to the many ‘what-ifs’ in life. I had no idea, I couldn’t imagine I’d go home a different person on so many levels. I’m excited to share these adventures with you, but we still have some to participate in. All in good time, I will share :-D.

It has all been to His glory, in His power, and for His greater purposes.

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Five Minute Friday’s word: In between.

We are home.

Home from the Philippines. After two months in another country.

It is good to be back. It is weird to be back. Everything is so ‘normal’, as if we never left. Yet, we have grown and experienced a once-in-a-lifetime event.

I have unpacked, but not put stuff away.

When in the Philippines we lived in a 3 bedroom house, it was the first time Christine and I haven’t shared a room in her life (unless you count the 7 months we lived in WI and she shared a room with Vince). Why am I talking about bedrooms? Because we are making a room for Christine. Christine is going to have her own room for the first time in her life!

When we came home, within 72 hours we had six dentist/doctor appointments (& multiple friend connections), re-packed and headed to the cabin for a week.

Then we came home and unpacked again.

Still not putting stuff away.

We’ve been picking paint, cleaning out, sorting, planning. As many of you know, NONE of those activities promotes clean, organized bliss.

As with any building project – there is mess. lots of mess.

Unpacking, sorting, staging. waiting.

Waiting for A [bedroom stuff] to move to new location, so B [office/homeschool stuff] can move into A’s space, so C [numerous resulting piles] can move into B’s new home in A’s original space – so I can finish putting away what I unpacked.

Because of living in this in between state I haven’t been posting here. It has not been an intentional break. First I was locked out, but then I just couldn’t get to the computer [because of above mentioned piles]. Not just physical piles, but mental piles I can’t quite seem to sort through to make any kind of sense. I am ready to be fully moved back in and put away. I am ready for our routine. Even though I don’t have any idea what the routine for the new year will look like yet.

What I do know: my home will feel new. Again.

To have a new space means: a like new office; moving my sewing stuff around; cleaning out the closet.

Once I have my office space set means: I can plan the next year of school. and get income coming in.

It also means: once school does start we won’t be sitting on top of each other all. day. long. every. day.

I had NO idea how nice it is for each child to do some school work on their own, in their own room, each with their own music on. [remember my children are older and we’re on 10+ years of homeschool – they do a lot on their own, not needing my help. I still want us to all work together on some things, and computers aren’t allowed in rooms.]

While I anticipate having my own room (for the first time in almost 20 years!); it does make me kind of sad. There was comfort in not ‘going to check’ on her; I knew by her breathing how she was sleeping. However, she is a month from turning 13 [HOW is this possible?!]. It is time. She needs her space. It has been a bit awkward for her to have friends over – I’ve slept on the couch so they could have the room, but that always made her feel weird. As if she was ‘kicking’ me out of my bed by having a sleepover. It has worked, and it could still work. But my dad was willing to build a temporary wall and she will have her own space. Painted with BRIGHT paints.

This month has brought lots of transition, lots of in between, a bit of uncertainty.

I’m also going to take this opportunity to note some things I have learned in June. I am planning to link up with Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky.

What have I learned in June?

• It’s hard to transition from another country to being home. (we are superficial in many things, but I appreciate more too)
• Life has continued as ‘normal’ for everyone else, while I feel as if we’ve had HUGE changes. (It feels a bit time-warpy.)
• It takes a l.o.n.g. time to process what you learn when traveling to a 3rd world country. (I wonder if we really went & we’ve been home less than 3 weeks!)
• I do like my home – my dark paints, the coziness of being small. (I’m so thankful for the white walls to see the lizards I was sharing a room with though, my walls here would creep me out there for sure!)
• It is bittersweet to loose my “roommate” after 13 years. (tell me this is normal, please)
• 80s colors [neon] are still appealing to middle schoolers. We are painting Christine’s room Secret Passage, with Hang Ten; Lime Passion; and Scrumptious. (better known as: really light gray; good ‘ol turquoise; uh. glowing green; and “coral”)
• It is hard to get a good coral paint. On the small card it looks good, on the wall – it’s HOT pink! (Yep, repainted those shelves to be turquoise.)
• It takes A LOT of ‘lime passion’ to cover – even over white primer. It still looks like a yellow/green glow stick. (so very glad I don’t have to use that bathroom, she probably won’t need the light)
• It is GOOD to take time out to just be. Even in your ‘normal’ environment. (With no job it can be hard to rest. still daily working on this.)

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You’d think with me working from home and us doing homeschool I wouldn’t struggle with being present. But I do.

I get so busy with trying to make ends meet, with trying to fit everything our American culture deems “important” in each day. I can get to the end of the day and too often realize I just orchestrated life all day and didn’t actually participate in any of it.

I realized while in the Philippines how much I was struggling with just slowing down and being. In the Philippines it’s not about how much you got done during the day. The work is there, you chip away at it. Some days the heat wipes all energy or thoughts of energy out of your mind and you. just. can’t. do. anything.

Other days you get more done.

Maybe this is true where you live too – but, here in Alaska we don’t have the energy sucking heat or humidity. You might freeze, so you put on a sweatshirt. But you can pretty much always full-on work (hard labor kind of working) for waaaay too looong. Especially since it doesn’t get dark in the summer. As I type this, it is 12:22AM – if I wanted, I could go sit outside and read a book without a light. It will get a little darker, but not a ton.

Having house help in the Philippines helped me see how much I didn’t ever stop – until there isn’t food to prep. no bathrooms to clean. floors to sweep. laundry to wash, dry and fold. [let me rephrase – those things were still there, I just wasn’t allowed to do them] then what do you do when school is done?

I’d go lay down on my bed with two fans pointed at me and read or nap. Regardless, I was starting to learn to enjoy just hanging out.

It was so strange. but so wonderful! [stop]

The above photo was one of many excursions while in the Philippines. What you can’t see is it is nearly 100* it is in the shade. The suffocating humidity was lessened a bit while sitting in this shade and hearing running water. We left that day on an adventure – we didn’t know if we’d actually find what we see out to hopefully swim at the base of another waterfall.

We did and we didn’t: We set out for an adventure – check, we got that. It was fun, all 8 of together. hanging out. not sure what we’d find. exploring together. Swim at the base of a waterfall – no go. Apparently, when the people who told us about this place were there – there was significantly more water. (they talked about a 6 foot pool of water – the water never passed our knees.) We didn’t swim. but we thoroughly enjoyed the shade after hiking across corn fields for a half hour to get there.

I still have so much in my head I want to say and remember about being present, but I’m not going to. I’m just going to challenge you to go out and  BE PRESENT (I actually explain what I mean by that so much better in that post). If you have children, go play with them. If you don’t have children choose to be present with the person/people you spend each day with. If you aren’t usually around people – go. do something different. when you get groceries, actually look at the cashier and tell them ‘thank you’.

Listen to them. Really hear them.

Hear what they say. Hear what they don’t say.

There are so many hurting hearts all around us. We just have to look outside ourself.

Sometimes, the hurting heart is ours [that is okay] and we need to focus on someone else for a while.

We hiked a mountain today – I can’t walk thru my living room for the mess from moving rooms, cleaning, moving my office – but we went. My mom definitely thought I was nuts – but it was my parents’ 43rd(!) anniversary and my dad is in Georgia for a conference. My brothers & their kids are not around – so it was my children and me left to spend the day with mom. So we did.

It makes me sad to think I was struggling with being present a year and a half ago too, and despite my thinking about and wanting it to be different – I’m pretty sure I’ve failed. Royally. I guess I’m improving a little – last year it took me until September to “run away” and choose to do something fun with the kids.

So thankful I can turn again to my Heavenly Father and ask for His strength, endurance, and forgiveness. This will be a turning point. Again.

Want to join the crowd in writing? Go on over to Lisa-Jo’s and link up with Five Minute Friday.

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1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:

Fly…

START:: So, fly. I know this word well this week.

As I’ve said before [a time or two :-)], both of my brothers are pilots. One a helicopter pilot in the Philippines, currently flying relief for those who lost so much in the typhoon a couple weeks ago. My younger brother is a bush pilot and is currently up the highway flying. My parents are in Texas because my dad had surgery yesterday. They fly home on Saturday, Lord willing.

There has been a lot of flying in my family lately. I just seem to be having time fly by faster than I can keep up with. I just finished a book club read, A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman, on the {in}courage blog. What a wonderful book! I feel as if I have a new outlook on life – to focus on making living art. It may be in the form of art-type things, or just in embracing life.

I’m excited to embrace life and all the changes. Not just trying to hang on tight. I am praying lots for my family in several locations right now, but Lord willing many of us will be together next week for Thanksgiving. ::STOP

Hmmm…. a bit random, yes. But it was where my brain went in five minutes. I’ve stopped and started Five Minute Friday enough times to know this will get easier…until then, well…it’s random & choppy. Granted, my thought processes are random & choppy these days :-).

Have a blessed week before Thanksgiving! We are just one week away from Christmas music and decorations to be “legal” :-).

I’ve been listening to Christmas music in the morning (until my son protests) for the last couple weeks. I have our totes out to see what decorations we have. I purged a lot the last couple years. I have four totes: one is dishes, mugs, and kitchen towels; one is wrapping stuff; one is books & movies; the other is what is left – small nativity, lights, ornaments, and the few snowmen who made the cut; two pillows are in there somewhere too.

I’m so thankful for a warm house tonight. The wind is howling outside. We’re supposed to get rain and snow tonight/early morning. Roads & driving will be treacherous tomorrow. Our power has gone out more times than I remember tonight, I have candles lit, water in jars, and we’re ready if it goes out – as long as it isn’t for too long. At the moment it’s on and I had the chance to join FMF, so I did.

As I said, random & choppy.

[photo with the two NTMA aircraft and the NTMA R44 is not my photo. I was given permission to use it by the missionary who took it. It is the helicopter my brother flies, and the planes are what two of his friends are flying. If you want to know more, I wrote about it earlier in the week.]

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[Fight…]

::START:: Fight. So much is fighting for space in my head right now. I had to fight to narrow down my one word. I will have to fight to hang onto my one word for 365 days. My one word: trust.

Trust.

Trust is something I look forward to hanging onto and learning and seeing how it changes life. I will trust I can win this fight. I know, “With Him all things ARE possible.” Phil. 4:13. But, I will have to fight to trust in my heart of hearts this is true.

 I will have to fight to stay close to my two children, 16 & 13 are not ages when kids typically want their parent. It is a time they need their parent – whether they realize that or not. I will fight to trust.

I will have to fight to hang onto all I have learned in the last year. I don’t want the pain of 2013 to be wasted. I will fight to trust 2014 will be better.

I will have to fight to not fear. Fear has had its way with me enough. I’m done. I will trust to be able to fight fear. :: STOP::

Have you participated in FiveMinute Friday before? If not, it’s a great time to start! Go on over to her blog to see the “rules”. Happy writing.

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Go:: I was ending a major first (international travel). Starting another major first (living internationally in the Philippines for two months). I finally got to hold these three for a moment. and oh, how my arms had been aching to hold these small peeps. (the three on right & my sister-in-law on far left)

We left Alaska at 2:30 in the morning, the morning of April 11th. Bright eyed. suitcases packed. ready.

We spent 7.5 hours in the Seattle airport. because I didn’t know you go through customs as you enter a country. not as you leave…. [for the record: 7 hours is a r.e.a.l.l.y l.o.n.g. layover at the beginning of a huge trip. we did everything we’ve ever wished to do in the SEA airport and were quite ready to get on with the trip before two hours were up….. ya, we had FIVE hours to go.]

We saw a glorious sunset in Tokyo. I enjoyed this sight right before we had to go thru security to get from one gate to the next and they took my brand new container of body butter. the one I bought on the “inside” of security in the SEA airport. the one I hadn’t even opened, let alone used. 🙁

Once thru security, we rushed on to our gate. we had a short layover, just over an hour. It was the first “strange” language we’d seen on signs. Japanese (I am assuming).

The first time I’ve EVER felt tall in public. 😀

I didn’t know how to buy a pack of gum. let alone a water bottle.

We were afraid to try the bathroom. but we had to before we finally left (it was fine – all was “normal”).

Our anxiety built to concern in trying to find the gate (ah…non-english signs were the norm. there were few & far between in the way of english signs). then we stood at our gate for over an extra hour and a half while two airline employees tried to get everyone in a straight line. but they couldn’t decide what row numbers should line up on which side (they kept flip flopping what they said – even though I couldn’t understand them, it was funny-or maybe it was sleep deprivation). We were in Tokyo an 1.5 longer than planned. I was starting to panic. I couldn’t call my brother to tell him we’d be late and we took off when we were supposed to be landing in Manila. We were tired. We had been traveling for almost 24 hours. (but not really because we skipped 17 hours ahead, then back to 16 hours.) but we’d flown for 3.5 hrs to get to SEA, then sat for 7.5 hrs in the airport, we left SEA at 2:15pm on Thurs (11th) and landed in Tokyo at 4:45pm on Friday (12th). so mentally trippy!

Then we got to Manila. my first step onto “for real” foreign soil. (I’ve traveled through Canada numerous times & spent a couple hours in Mexico once), but this was far, far away – not between two parts of the USA) ::Stop

[but I’ve started painting again. finally. I can’t stop now. I know this is Five Minute Friday, I’ll try to keep it shorter than it could be :-). I’ve been reliving “one year ago” all week. I can’t not continue the trip over re-cap. this was the beginning of a huge chapter of my story. one year ago.]

We got to Manila at 12:30am on Saturday the 13th. my first experience with customs. as a person, but responsible for three.  (not just a few people in our vehicle. in a line of vehicles) we were one in hundreds. in weird mixed-together lines. as Vince re-lived the year prior when he went over with a couple family-friends and at what point they were stopped and asked for a fee. a non-legitimate fee. then taken to another room to wait. until money was paid.

God is good. All the time. He is good.

we got two carts to put our luggage on. check. check.

all of our luggage made it to Manila. WHOOHOO! check. check. check. check. check.

we found the ramp and went to the right like we’d been told to. we managed to not lose the cart going down the hill ramp. we kept going. it didn’t look like a parking lot.

then all of a sudden it did look like a parking lot. a dark, not-enough-people around type of parking lot. we immediately turned around. yes, me – the obvious, lost, whitey turned around and pushed our carts against the flow to get back to where I thought we should be. I didn’t even try to blend in – just knew I wanted out of that space with my two children and way too much stuff. and quickly.

I couldn’t find my brother where I thought he said to meet him. If I had been less tired I think I probably would have been more worried. God knew. Vince remembered a phone just inside the door – instead of freaking out we calmly push our pile of luggage (the tipsy pile on the carts) in 80*+ temps (in our long pants & sweatshirts!) UP the long ramp. ya, that ramp. we tried to enter the airport and the guard stopped us with a hand up. He said “no”, we couldn’t go through that door. At that point I could feel the air-conditioning and realized how much more comfortable it was inside with my sweatshirt and long pants on. and the phone was so close. then I had to fight tears & panic.

However, he was a wonderfully kind guard. He knew more english than I knew filipino (good thing too! Thank you, Lord!!). I was able to express I needed to call my brother, that he wasn’t at the bottom of the ramp like we’d planned (remember – we left Tokyo when we were supposed to be landing in Manila, we were an 1.5 hr late). The guard pulled out his personal iPhone & let me call my brother (again, thank you Lord! it was familiar, I could figure out how to call). Zach was there, he just hadn’t seen us come down the ramp (or crossing to go back up). (Picture a “revolving” parking lot that kind of stills momentarily, sometimes it moves more, and some vehicles parked – it was so confusing to me. the constant motion and sea of people.)

FINALLY – after a year apart I got to hug my brother. We were there! We loaded up, went back to the mission guest house, and got “settled in”. We had 6 hours to shower and get re-packed (we left the bulk of our luggage in Manila to come up by bus – we had really cheap tickets so we could only have a carry-on.) for the next several days, all before breakfast and then it would be time to leave to go back to the airport to catch our flight to get the rest of the family. 

There were a few small hang-ups on the way back through security and actually getting on the plane to leave Manila – but that time Zach was with us. he knew what he was doing, and he had a phone that worked in the Philippines. The travels were all so worth it.

Much like the beginning of making a mess – to make something beautiful.

This is the fence, flowers, and the front of my brother’s house. and what I imagine it looks like today.

and the first sunset I saw in the Philippines. our first of many walks at sunset. 

so beautiful! if I try real hard when I remember I can hear the roosters. smell the dirt, carabow poo, flowers, other smells I can’t identify. feel the heat and humidity. 

This was the end of our first full day in the Philippines. the beginning strokes of a new painting. more chapters in my story. chapters I never thought God would share with me. I thought it was just dreaming.

He provided. every step of the way. He provided.

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Here are the copy/paste of directions from Lisa-Jo:

Set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Oh and Ahem, if you would take pity and turn off comment verification, it would make leaving some love on your post that much easier for folks!

OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:

Opportunity…

[Go] Today is Friday. The first Friday of the new year.

I told a friend this morning I feel as if I’m on the edge of a precipice. I just don’t know what that precipice is. Good? Bad? I had no idea what was in store for the day. {Good thing – pretty sure I would have stayed in bed! Pulled the covers up high over my head and hoped & prayed today could be skipped.}

Today has offered a HUGE opportunity to respond rather than react. This is something I have made a conscience effort in life to do. I just rarely have experiences to put it to the test – at a time of stress – a time it would be acceptable to react.

Except I don’t believe it is okay to react.

I have the opportunity today to share a couple of big things in the works. I’m choosing to take this opportunity. I’m scared to death. For the nature of security, I won’t share all, or even a lot, of detail.

My children & I have the opportunity for an experience of a lifetime. BUT, it will take money.

Money I don’t have.

I am planning (wanted to do this a long time ago – planned to have it ready for the first) to start a new website. Another blog.* Fear has stopped me. You know the question along the lines – why would anybody read yet another blog?

I have never been a afraid to state my beliefs openly. I don’t very often openly speak, but if I do, I’m not afraid to state where I stand. This will seem random, but just go with it. I’m taking this opportunity.

Go hug your family members. If you can’t hug them. Call them.

Tell them you love them.

Be thankful they are there with you. Each one of them.

Choose to not be annoyed. It is a choice.[stop]

In the grand scheme of life, I am guessing, it is something petty. Most likely what is annoying you is not a matter of life or death. No matter how it feels. We have not been promised tomorrow. You don’t know what is in store for you or your family members – today or any day. You may not see them again.

Are you a believer? Are they? Will you see each other again on earth? Will you spend eternity together in heaven. or hell? I am confident where I and my family members will spend eternity. This is not a ‘taken for granted’ statement. I am blessed. {okay, stepping off my ‘LOVE the FAMILY God put you in’ soapbox now. BUT, seriously. Go tell them.}

*See there is a very big part of me I have never discussed here. This explanation will come later. tomorrow, I hope. But for today. I am emotionally spent. Going to hang with my family. Because they are here and I want to hear about the day in more detail.

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