So, I ran away the other day.  We had a moment of sun & it was.absolutely.gorgeous! I’m so glad I did it.  Just went.  Walked out. Despite all the lists {to-do’s/need-to-do’s/have-to-do’s/urgent-should-have-done-already’s} staring me in the face.I’d been working on the computer, all the fall colors have been screaming at me – through the DUMPING rain for days {we typically only get a week or two of full-blown fall colors, then the leaves blow away.  so we really need to take advantage when the leaves have fully changed over}, – and for a moment — there was no wind, there was no rain, and there WAS sunshine!  The trees were absolutely glowing — I LOVE all the fall colors.  I’d have to say spring & fall are my two most favorite season.  One is the new life after winter and the other is everything dying….but they are the seasons with the most color.  I am realizing I might be a color addict :-D.  In the moment of glowing fall colors I said, “let’s walk to the lake” {sadly, this is not normal for me, but I really, really wanted fall color pictures}.

Let, me clarify something a moment – it’s been raining for.like.a week — ever since we came back from the cabin.  Oh, that’s right – I didn’t get to tell you, we “ran” to the cabin for the weekend to help dad with a lumber run.  The internet didn’t work until the night before we left to come home, so I had a mandatory 2.5 days of being ‘unplugged’ – it was awesome! More on that another day though…I have cabin posts, house project posts, life posts, homeschooling posts…all running around in my head, they’re kind of confused at the moment {not me, but the posts :-D}…I had a ton to do, but chose to walk away.

I didn’t regret it, I am still trying to get caught up.  But at least I have eye candy memories to think about :-D! Also, all those pictures are from my iPhone?!  So aggravating!…I had my Nikon D3100 with me.  I’ve been waiting to take pictures of all the beautiful fall colors we’re seeing.  And the stupid thing didn’t take as good of pictures as my cell phone!  Out of the 35 photos {because I forgot to start with an empty card} I took on the “good/real” camera, only a couple were in focus and the color wasn’t as good.  AAGGGHH!!!  It is so frustrating, even using it on auto focus it doesn’t focus all the way.  I often get just as good/or better pictures when I just point the camera & press – not looking to see what is in the frame.  When I came home & downloaded the pics….all went great ’til I went to put the card back in my camera – guess what?!  Now it tells me there is a problem with the memory card?  I just took photos off, why does it say that?  Fortunately, I have a second card, so far it seems to read it still fine….What am I going to do?!  I like the size of the Nikon, the feel in my hand, the shorter finger distance needed to reach the button – but I’ve been so disappointed.  Do I just replace (maybe go a step up in models?) or completely switch back to Canon?  I have some possible major life-changing events to document in the next year.  I need a camera, and I can not have a camera I don’t trust.  Do any of you have a recommendation or suggestion for me? At least I have the definitive conclusion it IS the camera & lens – not just operator error, remember?  [getting off the dumb Nikon camera soapbox {again}.  Just over a month, then I can get this resolved.]

Back to our walk.  We were gone an hour, as I walked up the driveway it started to rain. As in LOTS. {like you feel as if you’ve taken a shower outside, fully clothed} And it hasn’t stopped since.  I’m so thankful for those moments away – the week has been another full, and insane one.  I’m beginning to wonder if I don’t get the choice to go back to life being slow, seemingly manageable.  I chose to not go back to the cabin this morning.  I decided I wanted to be present, live where I am, and not constantly focused on what is ahead.

I made a HUGE Costco run this week.  Stocking up for the coming winter.  Not wanting to go out on icy roads anytime soon.  I think the rain has me paranoid – it only has 10* before that rain is snow = very icy roads.  When wet roads freeze it’s not fun, I fully plan to stay home. The thing is, my children don’t appreciate cereal for multiple meals in a day…so I had to make sure we had stocked up on the many basics which had run low.

We’ve had some issues crop up & haven’t been able to start school as fully as I’d anticipated.  But I think the last shipment will come tomorrow.  Dear UPS man, please deliver our box earlier — like 4’ish?  So we can enjoy our new school books, besides it always kind of creeps me out when you drive up & ring the doorbell at 8/8:30pm!

I get to get together with other women at the church and sew tomorrow.  I’m so excited!  Granted, it’s 11pm and I haven’t gathered my stuff and figured out what I’ll sew.  Maybe I’ll just touch & feel the material….Not really, I won’t haul it all to the church just to feel it. I hope.  I hope I get inspired & get a lot done. Oohh, I can’t wait to show you the material I bought for making my nephew’s new blanket!  Maybe I’ll start that – it’s going to be really simple.

I am starting an independent class to help me with my business.  I finally have a business name I like.  I will share it someday, but I’m not ready to yet.  Need to get some other really big factors in place first.  Such as — how we can have our own space in the living room – for school and work? (my dad veto’d the hole-in-the-wall-to-add-on idea)  I tore everything up two weeks ago, moved stuff all around, re-arranged, and am still a few inches short — it doesn’t all fit into a specific home.  I’m still sitting amongst a big-old-unorganized mess, it is driving me nuts.  I haven’t been able to come up with the perfect floor plan solution yet. {sigh} … Maybe tonight in my sleep something will hit me. 😀  I feel like it’s a big, 1500 piece jigsaw puzzle, I’m down to the last 15 or so pieces and they just won’t fit!

I started a new Bible Study last week, James.  I am once again reminded of how much I like and appreciate James 1:2-8 {well, really a whole lot more, but that is what we talked about last night} 

James 1:2-8 (NIV)  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”

This says to me: Trials are to make my relationship stronger with Jesus. I have to work through {…trial…} in order to grow. I know I lack wisdom, yet all I have to do is ask.  He promises to give us the wisdom needed.  In order to be considered stable, I need to be firm in what I know and believe; trust He is giving me the wisdom I need.  When I doubt Christ in me, I’m being double-minded.  Thank you, Heavenly Father, for providing a way for me — Jesus!

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Once again our family is going through major changes – changes I am sure will be used to God’s glory because the decisions have been covered in lots of prayer directly for several months and indirectly for years. I have had to make a decision I feel is huge. Quite honestly, next to going to court this is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life and the hardest day is yet to come. I have enrolled my children in school. This is temporary; it is just for this year until I finish my associates degree. One week from today I will take my children to school for the first time in our lives. For the first time ever I am not deciding what school supplies they need, I am not deciding what they will learn, what we will start with, how our days will “look”; they need school clothes; and we need appropriate food in the house for making packable lunches for multiple days at a time [I totally have absolutely no idea how to do this! – we have always eaten what we want at the moment and most often just heat up leftovers].

I am a home school mom at heart. I have always said I will home school as long as it is working for us, this is not an indication of home school not working for us. There just simply is not enough of me to be the best single mom, home school mom, full-time student, and part-time employee to go around. Being a home school mom is the one element that could change with the least amount of long-term consequence. I should be done with my degree in April -Lord willing we will be back to home schooling next year.

This has honestly been a heart-wrenching process on multiple levels for me. Registration day was earlier this week and filling out all the paperwork was truly a nightmare – I can’t really put my finger on why, other than wondering “why on earth do they need to know all this information about us?!” I am keeping this explanation fairly short and simplistic because I don’t have the energy to say more – emotionally, mentally, or physically without rambling. I am hoping and praying to be a better mom than I have been over the last year and for the grace of God and love of Christ to spill out of us onto others in this process.

Although I said in my last two posts I have prayed Jeremiah 29:11-13 most consistently over the last 10 years. That verse is why I have the confidence to go forward with this plan, but this is the verse I am clinging to most desperately right now. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:18

Be joyful always ~ can’t say I’ve done very well at this, especially not lately.

Pray continually ~ this to me is a no brainer, I could not function without my complete dependence on Christ. I have learned over the last 10 years that I do not function at all without an ongoing connect thru prayer, it is how I cope each and every day. I don’t make decisions well, big or small.

Give thanks in all circumstances ~ it really doesn’t say for everything, but in everything. I am working hard to remember this right now. Some days are good, I can give myself an attitude check in the morning and it lasts – lately not so much…

This is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

This is written very simply and rather clearly. It does not say be joyful when times are good, fun, and easy; pray only when times are hard, you need extra help, or if you’re confused; and give thanks when you feel thankful; this is a suggestion from God and the best you can expect from Jesus Christ.

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The Cove in fall with snow coming down the mountains.

Fireweed in the fall.

Vince & Hickory creeping up to scare the seagulls.

All of us by the big rock.

This is the first time I’ve seen fall at our cabin. It is wonderful. Our cabin is finished & so wonderful cozy to hang out in. Here’s the view out the window by my bed, where I’m sitting and typing this. We are so blessed to get away for a couple days & enjoy such wonderfulness :).

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the shelves….

and the floor in front of the shelves –
This is really embarassing & I’m only posting this because a friend asked me to & right now my brain is numb enough to actually follow through – scary!

What my pantry looks like now – 🙂 – I’m so excited!!!!

There’s nothing on the floor in front of the pantry either – I can find what I need & I’ll even remember what I’m looking for (I hope!). I’m really excited to almost be back in control of ‘my own’ life. I know I’m not really in control of ‘my’ life, but I will gain a significant element of control back and I’m ready to be a full-time stay-at-home, homeschooling mom again. I look forward to waking up & not having a specific plan for the day – or at least knowing our plans should stay as-is & not have to be ready to drop everything at a moments notice. I’m so looking forward to ‘just’ being with my kids, doing school, baking, cooking what we want to eat, and working on Christmas projects (as soon as I figure out what we want to do).

I have one more big clean-out project I’d like to tackle before the day…The closet – we can’t even walk into it past the door, which means it is 3/4’s chuck full and the 1/4 we have our clothes in is a horrible mess. I need to clean out clothes & put away summer clothes. Pull out the rest of the school stuff & unearth my scrapbooking stuff. I have my sewing machine out, but can’t find all my quilting stuff…I can’t believe I haven’t really quilted, sewn, or scrapbooked in almost a year! Just one week left & 4 of the days are spoken for – so it should go quickly. If I can get the closet done before next Tues, it will be a joy ‘cuz I haven’t been able to do ‘my life’ stuff for so long, it feels like a break. If I have time I’d love to clean out under my bathroom sink too – I’d feel like we were in a new place & it would be so relaxing for mid-week to take a deep breath & just enjoy! If I don’t get this done until after next Tues – then it’ll just be another chore. Funny how we can be so fickle on how we look at something :), I know, I play such silly mind games with myself… Thank You Heavenly Father, for loving me anyway, for not giving up on me, for using me to Your glory, Your pleasure, You have “filled (me) with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ – to the glory and praise of God.”Phil. 2:11

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Just in case you think I’m grumbling – I really, truly am not – BUT I am REALLY ready for NOV. 4th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This year has been overly full, I am grateful for all the Lord has taught me & the path He has carried me along on. I’ve learned lots about myself (& others). Notice I said He carried me? I said that because we (He & I) have definitely traveled some paths that if it’d been up to me I wouldn’t have gone that direction, or I would have quit. I’m so thankful to be at this end I trust, pray, and hope that I don’t waste the lessons I learned.

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I have never ever done anything like this before, it was two firsts. I’ve never gone hunting, nor have I ever done something with just my brothers. I’m sure it was a once in a lifetime experience, as we don’t all always live in the same area. They included me in something they love and allowed me to join them in one of their greatest annual joys. The whole experience was a gift, a gift that could only come from my Heavenly Father, one that I’m not able to completely put into words. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, we woke up to frost on the ground, but we all slept well & were warm in our sleeping bags (Zach, thanks for making sure I had a good one). Our air mattresses all still had air in them, something we were pretty sure was NOT going to happen.

It was sooooo beautiful out there! It shouldn’t, but it does, amaze me how much detail God put into every little & big thing – even things that may never be seen by human eye. It makes me see how He didn’t make it for us, the animals don’t care & we don’t see it all – it is for Him and His glory. So when we do see it, we can marvel at Him & Him alone. When we got to a creek/river/stream, whatever it was…the moving water – the guys spent a significant amount of time checking out the rocks for a spot I could cross, I made it across the first 2 spots fine, then I slipped & got water up over one boot – but I learned the value of wool socks. My feet truly were warm even though they were wet (and I REALLY hate wet socks), it was prior to 9am and there was still frost on the ground. The wet socks didn’t bother me, I was shocked & pleased!

The frost on all the leaves & berries was breathtaking. I couldn’t get enough of them.

I thoroughly enjoyed seeing all the vegetation & the variety – so many differentlittle plants live in the tundra. By the way, when you see pictures of mountainsides & it looks all colorful with some trees sticking up….. well, all that flat looking color – is actually as tall as my waist (or above my head) & isn’t easy to walk around in or through. We spent the better part of 12 hours hiking around in it. I got off easy, there were a couple times I spent a fair amount of time sitting to “watch for the moose” or “sitting with the packs”. I know the guys were being kind to me. They were hiking all around, even up to an extra cliff, just to look around – but they didn’t ask me to. The combo of new hiking boots, with wet wool socks had rubbed enough to start blisters on both sides of both feet. I was very thankful to “watch for moose” and “babysit” the packs & loved sitting, looking & praying. I was surprised at how quickly the time went. They did take turns coming to “check on” me, which they both said was a way of taking a break :). But even when there were 2 of us, it was quiet because we couldn’t make noise & you can only whisper for so long about very little. So we’d just sit in comfortable silence in God’s beautiful creation – can anything be better than that?!

Matt found a comfy spot to take lunch break.

When crossing back over to head towards camp…they kept checking out different spots to cross (while I took pictures of the water & rocks – it was just too pretty to pass up) any way, Zach crossed here & did it so gracefully. There were rocks almost like stepping stones across, as you can see they weren’t all out of the water, but they were there — up to where Zach is standing. However – when I crossed & got to that last 3 ft step, I couldn’t step directly on the top of the next rock (at the edge) – I stepped on it more at an angle. Needless to say, the rock went on down the creek & I fell in. Thankfully Zach had a hold of my hand & held me up, or the current would have put me flat on my face…at that point in the creek the water was mid-thigh deep (on me). We laughed so hard – they tried so hard to help me stay dry & I was wetter than ever…I would have been better off just walking across one of the shallower points & being wet to mid-shin. Anyway, I again was very thankful for my quick dry, moisture wicking, polyester, non-cotton pants & wool socks.

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One of the many absolutely gorgeous flowers at the Alaska State Fair.

We went to the fair today – we went in during the time we could get in for just $2. Cheap enough to go & leave in just a couple hours. No lugging a ton of “just in case” things, we were only there for 2 1/2 hours. Time to get lunch & walk thru the quilts, and leave when it was starting to feel crowded, the perfect amount of time. Here are a couple pictures of the quilts I really liked – two I plan to make, possibly all four will get made…someday :).

I really like this quilt & want to make it – it is a sampler with a different block pattern for each letter of the alphabet & the colors were amazing too!

I’ve been saving material to make a quilt in all blues & constantly searching for the perfect pattern. I’m not usually big on samplers, but I like this one – maybe because of its simplicity of being blue & white – I like the ‘viney’ corners too.

… and another quilt – isn’t it cute?! The center is a bunch of different scenesembroidered with snowmen playing. Can’t you just picture it in blues, with snowflakes & snowmen?! … Three of my favorite things & all in one quilt, I don’t think it could get much better! 🙂



I love the red, white & blue with the stars on this wall hanging. I’m not really into wall hangings & I don’t particularly enjoy making stars – so many points to mess up :). … who knows, maybe I will make this someday. Since I still haven’t finished my way cool flag quilt that I took a picture of and created from the fair 3 (or is it 4?) years ago… I guess we’ll see.

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