Also – I FINALLY went through my 1,000s of photos from the Philippines and made a book – it took me three days straight and most of another to narrow it down to a 40 page book. I ended up pulling most of my flower/scenery ones & I’ll have to do a second book. I’m so excited to see some of them in print! While I’ve had them organized, I have only printed one photo since coming back.

Two years ago right now we were inside two weeks from leaving for two months. My heart has ached from missing the Philippines this year – I suspect because Zach & Jane and the kids were here most of last year and now they’re back over there. Assuming I get our schedule shifts smoothed out (I’m trying to get the blog into the schedule) I’d love to do a photo(s)/day to remember our time there. I know I won’t actually make it to posting here each day – but I have started trying to learn instagram, so maybe it’ll happen there. (if 5 pictures over the last 2wks counts as learning)…

The following picture is from the tribe we went to in the Philippines when we got to stay for three days – over Mother’s Day. This is the view from our friends’ front door. So beautiful!

Today is Palm Sunday. For the first time in my life I’ve been reading a Lent devotional (SheReadsTruth.com <-AWESOME!). Alongside the devotional I’ve been reading another book, You’re Loved No Matter What by Holley Gerth. Amazing! I’m still working to mentally process so much of the book. I so appreciate her style of writing, it’s is as if you were sitting together with a friend visiting. So often I think of a question while reading and within a sentence or two, she answers my question – as if I asked aloud & she heard me. This book is no different.

It has been amazing to read during this Lent season as well, it has made the gift of sacrifice on Good Friday & Jesus’ resurrection on Easter have so much more meaning going into this week.

For example: Today is Palm Sunday, the day Jesus rode the donkey & everyone waved palm branches. What was brought to my attention in the Lent devotional: Jesus, as a human, was fully aware and purposely went to Jerusalem – knowing he was going to die. It was a hard thing, something He was willing to do for us, but He would rather not have to do. But He went because it was His Father’s (my Father’s) will for Him to do. Why? (from You’re Love No Matter What) Because He loves us. because He loves me. He loves all of us as a whole. He loves each of us individually. no matter what.

For the first time I’m equating the fact (mentally receiving the idea) He went to Jerusalem specifically to die, because He loves me. I always thought the importance of the story was because He was riding a baby donkey (an unridden colt) – I have only looked at the surface.

Jesus loves each of us individually – NO MATTER what we have done (or not done) in life. 

For a long time I’ve thought I was working on/was over perfectionism in my life. My twisted idea of what “being perfect” meant, I thought I was choosing to not be, so I was “over” it. Such a trap. a lie. However, throughout this book I’ve realized the fears I’m working to get past are part of perfectionism too. And I can’t “work to get past” them. I simply need to focus on enjoying a full life in Jesus & quit trying so hard. In a weird, backwards way I’ve been stuck in a cycle of perfectionism and being paralyzed by the overwhelm to be “perfect”. I feel as if each morning I’ve had a coffee visit with Holley and she has helped me see how this ISN’T how our Father wanted me to live, it is why He sent His son to die – for each of us. We are ALL loved already – NO MATTER what. Oh.my.goodness!!! See how it all comes full circle? He is a crazy, amazing, wonderfully good God. and He loves you! There will always be an element of longing & waiting for perfect, because we won’t be perfect until we’re in heaven.
We are only/already a third of the way through 2015 and this has been a year for receiving. My heart is full. Receive has not been in outward, evident, tangible ways, but so many mental ways. Choosing to receive, choosing to receive grace, choosing to believe differently than I thought before. Choosing to embrace the truth of His love has been so refreshing.

**I received a copy of this book from Revell in exchanged for my honest review. I was not required to write a positive review.**

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As I look at life another year older. There is not one moment of that “crazy idea” trip to the Philippines I regret. I am so thankful God, our Heavenly Father, provided the way for us to go to visit.

to help family.

to support the mission.

to have the experience of a lifetime.

I am looking forward to learning more about how wild God is in His love for us. for me. Through lots of study and good reads over the last year I’m believing it more and more, but I still feel as if I’m just scratching the surface of understanding His ultimate love.

I hope you know you have a Heavenly Father wanting and waiting to love you. Do you know this already? If not, I urge you click on the link and believe the verse. It is just one verse, but it is a starting point to great wonders. Maybe you have known this in the past but it’s become increasingly hard to remember.

Remember it now. I’m reminding you.

We are at the start of a new week. Easter week. I’m not against the easter bunny & all the extra easter stuff. However, we don’t do all those things – simply because we don’t have the money for all the commercialism and it is NOT why we celebrate Easter. The real reason we have Easter is because Good Friday is remembering the day Jesus died on the cross for my sins. [your sins.] Jesus took the punishment of death for me. [for you.] because He loved me [you] that much. He rose again on the 3rd day, Easter Sunday, after conquering death and sin. Of course, the days of the week may not be right – because the timing is connected to when Passover is celebrated.

Did you know this is why we have Easter?

All you have to do is ask. Ask Jesus to be Lord of your life. Accept Jesus’ gift to cover your sins with His blood. It really is that simple.

The best thing you can do if you have asked Jesus to be Lord of your life, you’ve accepted His gift is to tell someone. If you don’t know who you can tell, feel free to email me (see the about page for my email address).

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Easter. What an amazing act of love from our Heavenly Father to us.

Here is a story related in my Bible Study this morning. (quotes from Max Lucado’s Bible Study, Experiencing the Heart of Jesus)

… since God is more moved by our hurt than our eloquence, he responded. That’s what fathers do.

…

That’s exactly what Jim Redmond did.
His son, Derek, a twenty-six-year-old Briton, was favored to win the four-hundred-meter race in the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Halfway into his semifinal heat, a fiery pain seared through his right leg. He crumpled to the track with a torn hamstring.
As the medical attendants were approaching, Redmond fought to his feet. “It was animal instinct,” he would later say. He set out hopping, pushing away the coaches in a crazed attempt to finish the race.
When he reached the stretch, a big man pushed through the crowd. He was wearing a t-shirt that read “Have you hugged your child today?” and a hat that challenged, “Just Do It.” The man was Jim Redmond, Derek’s father.
“You don’t have to do this,” he told his weeping son.
“Yes, I do,” Derek declared.
“Well, then, ” said Jim, “we’re going to finish this together.”
And they did. Jim wrapped Derek’s arm around his shoulder and helped him hobble to the finish line. Fighting off security men, the son’s head sometimes buried in the father’s shoulder, they stayed in Derek’s lane to the end.
The crowd clapped, then stood, then cheered, and then wept as the father and son finished the race.
What made the father do it? What made the father leave the stands to meet his son on the track? Was it the strength of his child? No, it was the pain of his child. His son was hurt and fighting to complete the race. So the father came to help him finish.
God does the same. Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and not the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.

This made me think of things I’ve heard before, but for whatever reason clicked more with reading it this morning, Easter morning. If we as human parents will do anything for our children, often without really thinking about it & definitely defending our actions – How much more our Heavenly Father does for us & will do for us. He sent His Son to die on the cross, you know He wanted to spare Jesus – but it was for us He didn’t. His plan was to raise Jesus from the dead, also for us. If God were into the easier way of doing things He could have skipped Jesus’ pain, suffering & dying, but because the wages of sin is death He didn’t. Again, for us.

This weekend was very full of activities at the end of a full week and full of so many blessings. Two very special blessings I don’t want to ever forget…

One very special blessing – I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to have Vince do while Christine & I were at the Mother/Daughter Tea on Saturday morning….but at the Good Friday Service on Fri night a very special friend’s husband invited him to join him & his son to go out on the 4-wheeler & look for mud puddles! What more could any boy want?! Vince was so excited! When we got home Fri. night he got all his warm clothes & plastic bags with change of clothes for when they were done & getting back into the van ready for the next morning. On Sat when he was back with me & we’d hooked up with other friends he kept telling them about how much fun it was to go find the mud & puddles and go through them. I think everyone we saw or talked to (whether we knew them or not!) in Jo-Ann’s knew he’d been out on a 4-wheeler. I don’t think he’d ever been out to play on one before. I’m sure my dad & brothers will hear lots about how you can just play on the 4-wheeler, not just use it for work. Dad, this is your warning – :).

This was just funny to me….in the weekly clothes talk of making sure his jeans were clean for Sun morning, Vince informed me that for Easter he wanted to look “just like Uncle Zach”. He was going to wear his jeans, tennis shoes, Carhart sweatshirt & Meekin’s Air Service cap. It was funny ‘cuz he’d actually thought about it & then told me ahead of time. This really isn’t much different than what he’s been living in lately, except the cap. Zach you are missed :)!

The other blessing was Christine’s dress. I don’t really put much effort in a new dress for Easter, if it works – great, if not – no big deal. I do like to have something fun and springy & Easter means it’s OK to start wearing less wintry clothes. I had it in my head I really wanted her to have a polka dot dress or a white eyelet dress for going into summer (I know, summer is still a long ways away – but I’m desperate to see it coming). I saw Gymboree’s polka dot dress & it made my desire stronger…but when it was on sale, they didn’t have the right size. There wasn’t polka dot material (that I liked) at Jo-Ann’s for making one either. Then the white eyelet dress at Target went on sale. However, when Christine tried it on we didn’t like it. It was one of those that was cute on the hangar but not so much on. None of this was specific “shopping for an Easter dress”, just in life as we were out & about. So we decided she’d wear her beautiful “Nutcracker dress”, it’s cream/ivory so it’d be fine. My hesitation was I want it to stay nice for a wedding this summer.

Friends at the Tea…
what fun memories to be had in future years.

So, anyway…Saturday morning was the Mother/Daughter Easter Tea at church. On our way to the Tea a friend called. She had a pink/green polka dot dress her daughter had grown out of & she wondered if Christine would like it for Easter?…and she had it with her & we’d see her at the Tea. I about cried – not because I cared so much about the dress, but because God cares about such insignificant elements in my life. I’m all teary even thinking about it. I mean seriously – CJ had a dress, this wasn’t a need in any shape or form. Not only was it a fun, springy dress, but it has big pink/green polka-dots & it is really cute on!

A dress wasn’t even something I’d specifically prayed for. It just wasn’t that important to me, I desired it but it wasn’t a high priority. If God is willing to answer what I haven’t asked for so perfectly, abundantly, above & beyond – how much more so does He want to answer/give what I do pray about and things/situations that are actually important?! The ending of the above quote: “Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it not the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.”really struck me. Lately I’d lost sight of this, thinking so many of my ‘unanswered’ (I know, this just means right now the answer is ‘wait’) prayers were a result of me not praying right or missing something. It’s not about me. It is about Him. What glorifies & honors Him. His timing is perfect.

Heavenly Father, thank you for being patient with me as I learn & relearn & have to be reminded again – You want what is best for me, for us. Your power is greater than our every need, than my every fear. Your power has already conquered sin and death. Teach me to rest confidently in your strong hands. Help me to rely on your power, even when I do not understand why things are happening. Thank you for caring about insignificant things, the desires of our hearts, even when they could be labeled ‘silly’. Meet me at the point of my greatest weakness with Your perfect power, in Your perfect love. Thank you for sending Jesus to die & rise again for my sins, for forgiving me, so I can spend eternity with You.

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