I’ve realized a few other first thoughts when I think about traditions are actually from my childhood, but not necessarily what I do with my children. I’m finally in a place where I can realize because our family dynamic is so different from what I grew up with, it is okay. Traditions can change, it doesn’t mean they have less meaning. I’m learning the value in accepting and embracing change. Two years ago, my children & I packed up on Christmas Eve morning and went to spend the night at friends’ house. We were with their family for Christmas morning and through the whole day – it was very different, but fun memories were made. We didn’t experience our traditions, instead we participated in theirs.

As a child:

• Christmas music was not allowed to be played until after Thanksgiving dinner. My mom was always really strict about this (except, today – she listened to Christmas music as she was here alone for a couple hours & put up white lights outside.).
• We always had a real tree, so while Christmas decorations & music were pulled out, the tree didn’t go up right away. I don’t remember a specific date the tree would go up –  for sure not before Thanksgiving dinner, but sometime soon after, but not so soon it would start losing needles before Christmas – or die before New Years. My mom always kept it up until New Years, then before we went back to school we had to help put it all away (I hated that – so I’ve changed it!)
•  On Christmas Eve, we would go to my grandparents’ home with my dad’s sister & her family – this is when we opened gifts between the families, then we would all get dressed up and go to the candlelight service (at 11pm?). My grandpa was the pastor of the church – we only did this the seven years we lived in WI, but nearly 30 years later it still seems as if we ought to go.
• Christmas morning was at our house with just our family of five, we didn’t have a lot of money growing up (my dad was finishing school/working part-time & my mom was home with us kids) we got stockings and one main gift. We never felt cheated or like we had less.
• Then we’d go back to Grandpa & Grandma’s and spend the afternoon/evening. Christmas was about being with family and friends.

As a mom: I can’t really remember the first two Christmases, being a mom was so new and traditions in life were not a priority. I do know my son’s 1st Christmas was in OR, we lived in the biggest two-bedroom apartment I’ve ever lived in, but we shared our space with fleas & cockroaches. [Ewwww! I’ll take my small one bedroom apartment, thankyouverymuch!!!] I mostly remember trying to keep Vince on a large blanket on the living room floor; he was only 5 months, but he’d already been crawling for a month. I do remember a tree, but no ornaments, lights, or other decorations. Vince’s 2nd Christmas I was pregnant and had the flu, and our family had an absentee father/husband. He was out-of-state working, but things were really not good.

By Vince’s 3rd Christmas, we were a single-parent family; Vince was 3 & Christine was 4 months. I remember feeling like such failure – I didn’t know or understand how a family could be a family without two parents. I did not know, or grow up knowing, anyone who had been divorced. At that point I realized I needed to make changes in what I thought was necessary to celebrate holidays. Our family looked different than any I knew. Since then I’ve tried a few consistently different things, namely adjusting my focus. It’s been 14 years now. I won’t lie and say it’s become easy to hang onto the idea that one parent and two children are a family. There are moments of intense ache because of this fact in our life, but when I find myself longing for something different, I choose to Give Thanks.

I give thanks for the blessings we have each day – even when it doesn’t feel like a blessed day. With our Heavenly Father, we always have the hope of a future meant to glorify Him. He promises (Jeremiah 29:11 <- look in the sidebar, to the right & up). I am still and will always be: His child, His daughter, and He is King of Kings – no matter what my temporary circumstances may look like.

Christmas music is supposedly not allowed to be played until after Thanksgiving dinner. (However, the last two years I’ve realized when I play Christmas music earlier I am able to make gifts without it being the very last moment when I finish. So I’ve fudged on this, and my daughter’s been listening to it for a while, and Vince is still adamantly against :-D).

Our live tree in 2008….

Ugh, our  living room looked awful! This is before we had a real couch. You can see Vince’s desk to the left, and all my office/homeschool stuff on the right. This is also before I pulled the carpet out of my living room. This is when my walls were newly painted blue; I’d painted them the night after our first campaign, November of 2008. I was afraid I’d hate them and have to paint it back (which equated to a waste of time & money)…. Today, I still love my blue walls as much as I did when I painted them – six years ago!

Our three porch trees….

I don’t put wrapped gifts under the tree until Christmas Eve night – usually because I’m still making them :-D! Did I mention, for the most part – we make/upcycle all our gifts? There are a couple reasons for this – we’ve never had a lot of money, so buying a lot of gifts is out of the question. Simply not an option. This has been normal for my whole life – but I have also found, I’d much rather make our gifts. I hate shopping. So, shopping and spending money I don’t have/shouldn’t spend is exponentially not appealing to me. There are times we do buy things of course, but it’s not expected. Additionally, for our extended family – we’ve all approved and prefer recycle/upcycle gifts. If we’re in a thrift store or having something we know someone would like – we give it to them. No shame, no explaining. It is so much fun and we appreciate giving and receiving because no one feels as if they have to do anything. Also, if you don’t want to wait until Christmas – you can give it to them early and (gasp!) they can open it right then!

We have chosen to make the holidays about family – not activities/events, not stuff, or traditions/obligations we have to do.

Thankfully, all of us are okay with this. A few years back my mom & one brother thought we should draw names because there were getting to be so many of us (12 at the time) and some were struggling with letting go of the idea to buy for everyone… we all hated it. we didn’t stick with it. most of us still did gifts for others, because it’s what we wanted to do. We altered the “rule” to be you just couldn’t give the “extra” gifts at our Christmas exchange. That was the year I really realized the blessing in giving – when I felt it was “against the rules” to make a gift for my dad – I couldn’t not make a gift. (yes, I have an issue with rules. I struggle greatly when I break them, but I regularly doN’T keep them. Personality conflict anyone? :-D)

I try to have Christmas decorations up by Dec 1st, and I usually take them down by the 29th. I want to bring in the New Year already cleaned & organized. There have been a few years we had a real tree, but for the last several years we’ve had 3 fake porch trees grouped together. I got these trees on clearance many years ago and because they’re different & unique and not a “normal” fake Christmas tree – I like them. As the kids got bigger and with all of us in the living room each day, a full size tree was just too much. These fake trees are tall, narrow, and small enough to fit in the living room – but I’ve bent the wire limbs down to put them away and “fluffed” them for too many Christmases. The last couple times I’ve put them away I’ve thought they wouldn’t make it thru another Christmas – I fully realize I may have to do something different this year. Last year there were a couple wire limbs I held to the trunk with the lights :-).

We have had a tradition since both of my brothers’ wives have their families within just a few miles – we have the eve of Christmas Eve. It’s our family’s re-creation of “Christmas morning at Grandpa & Grandma’s”. So, on the eve of Christmas Eve all of the kids open their Christmas jammies (started as matching, then went to coordinating – we haven’t talked about what we’ll do this year. The kids are ranging from 2-17 & we’re too cheap to buy expensive matching…), then it’s a big sleepover and we get up in the morning for “Christmas morning” on Christmas Eve. So on the real Christmas Eve we open gifts between our extended family (14 this year!). Christmas Eve evening is a hangout (maybe with family friends) time and I’m usually finishing up gifts :-). This way both brother’s can have their own family time on Christmas morning and time with their in-laws without stressing – trying to be with everybody on the same day.

Christmas morning I have with my two, then we move over to mom & dad’s. This is when we eat kringle, read the Christmas Story, and then the last bit of exchange between the three of us and my parents. We pretty much still stick to one main gift and stockings.

This year is bringing yet another shift in our traditions. My son is 17!!!!! He got his driver’s license yesterday. After his test we went to say happy birthday to my sister-in-law, then he brought me home & drove back to my brother’s house so they could go running, then he brought his sister & himself home. This is going to be WEIRD!!! After cello lessons his friend came out to meet us so Vince could go to his house to spend the night – I took him to the meeting point (so I could have the car today) and watched as they drove away. So very, very strange. I realized as I spent a lot of unexpected/un-planned time at home alone yesterday and last evening- this holiday season will be much different than ever before. In the past, the kids would have activities and I would drive them, I either planned for errands – or it was time I’d spend reading in the car. Also, this is probably next to the last “for sure” Christmas with Vince at home.

Even with all the changes – there are constants. Our Heavenly Father. Thankfulness. Family.

What does the holiday season mean for each of us? For our family, November is a continuation of thankful living. We might vocalize it more – but not much is different, except for making even more of a point to have together time. We are blessed to be part of a family where all involved appreciates the value of family and makes a point to be together. Both of my brother’s have in-laws who are family friends too. So, it makes for fairly simple planning for family gatherings. For example, we know one brother & his family won’t be with us on Thanksgiving Day – it isn’t an issue, we’ll gather for a different dinner. It’s not about a single meal in a month, but we’re trying for weekly (or close to) family dinners while Zach & his family are here from the Philippines. We are blessed. I know there are many who don’t have this kind of relationship with their family, and/or in-laws, my heart aches for you. I am praying you are able to see God’s gift of love for you in spite of those hardships.

Where am I in the planning & traditions for this year? So far, now in the middle of November….

• We have no snow. as in zero.
• I’ve not started listening to Christmas music. (I did once, the weekend in October when I did a bunch of cleaning/sewing for my niece’s birthday, and I was sick)
• I’ve not started making gifts. (but I have ideas in my mind, I think I even have most of the supplies too)
• Tomorrow is our second whole family dinner in a week, in honor of my sister-in-law’s birthday. (whole family = 14 of us, but dad isn’t here this week)
• We are now less than 2 weeks from Thanksgiving….. and I have to figure out how to make Swedish Kringle be Gluten Free/Dairy Free/Egg Free (could be interesting, not sure the egg free part will work at all).
• In two weeks I’ll be pulling out Christmas decorations. :-D!!!

This year, I challenge you: Don’t stress about buying/giving gifts. Focus on time spent with family & friends instead. You won’t ever regret it.

The holidays can be a gift to us: A time to enjoy simple things, have life be a little different – a time to appreciate our many blessings in life. NOT a time to create ginormous to-do lists to add to our already over-burdened schedules. Participate in the activities you want; if you don’t necessarily enjoy it, re-evaluate – do you really need to attend?

May I make a couple suggestions?

1. Instead of buying all those friend gifts – stop, call your friend and make an appointment with them to visit over coffee/tea/cold drink, whatever – at your house, at their house, at a coffee shop, at a book store, wherever you are both comfortable. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, it doesn’t have to be fancy, it doesn’t have to be a meal. Just stop & visit face-to-face, even just an hour can be so meaningful. (I’m not against buying stuff, just suggesting an alternative for when you simply can’t. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find it better than buying in the future :-D.)
2. All the holiday cookies? Simple, don’t make them. Make the ones for your family you know you really enjoy. No one needs all those baked goods any more than any other time of year. If you wouldn’t normally consider making 10 different kinds for one event/evening – why do it now?
3. Don’t go too overboard on decorations. … (they do all have to be put away :-D)
4. Take time to rest and enjoy the season.

I’m so glad Patience Brewster contacted me and asked about our family traditions, inspiring me to continue now, when the blog world is thinking about Christmas planning. I’ve written and re-written this post so many times in my head, and I’ve never actually written it all out. (you know how it goes, when someone else asks it becomes a higher priority :-D). Thank you, Patience, for the opportunity to do a “for real” blog activity :-).

I really do enjoy blogging – once I get started :-). Thanks for reading.

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1. What my brother (Matt) sets his mind to, he 99% of the time accomplishes. (FYI, this was not a surprise, just a big visual of this principle in his life was demonstrated.) Usually in the time frame he expects – the house broke him (for the better); the house was not in his time frame. He decided last year he really wanted to be in their house for Christmas this year. We all pitched in lots over the last couple months. He, his wife, and two girls moved into their new home on December 22nd! We had Christmas Eve with them at their house. I know I am biased, but – he now has the absolutely coolest house EVER!!

Scroll down in his post and you’ll see just a few pictures, I can’t wait for him to do a complete ‘reveal’. Think: steel Ibeams; utility lights; chain link “holding” floors in place; glass floor in the bridge & stair landing. It’ll be a while before he does much on the blog – a few hours ago he landed in the Philippines; his turn to visit Zach & family. It is just two weeks short of two years since my brothers have seen each other.

2. I can plan a successful event. Campaign season has started…in just over a week I made/printed/mailed and emailed invitations and got everything together. I had help with getting some of the decor up in the last minutes, and my 2nd mom (actually my mom’s best friend from college) bailed me out by picking up my son at the dentist. There were two horrible accidents between the fundraiser location and the dentist office that day and getting from point A to point B was not nearly as easy as normal. However, while I was merely inconvenienced, others’ lives were drastically changed, altered, and I believe one ended on that Wednesday, 1 week before Christmas. My heart aches for the families impacted.

3. Did you know, if you apply 3 thin coats of stain with a paint brush it just looks like they’re painted white … unlike 3 thin coats of white stain with a rag? See those really cool stairs in my brother’s house (6th picture down)…. You see, I’d done lots of other staining for him – all with dark walnut. “Lots” on the rag, wipe quick and rub until it’s blended. That day was different, he had to run errands and I was doing white stain. Up until that point we’d been staining with rags. But, he had a paint brush with a milky white substance sitting with the stuff he’d set out for me.

The day after the fundraiser, I went up to Matt’s to finish up the stairs for him – I’d been looking forward to it all week. He had everything set up. I was in a warm house – all by myself. Christmas music playing on Pandora. and all I had to do was mindlessly stain. making sure to cut in carefully, of course. for hours. It was blissful. Perfect recoup for the introvert who had been 150% peopled out after a really stressful day and very full three weeks. I finished the last step & my brother returned. He was shocked at the color. It wasn’t what he’d expected. He asked if I’d done 3 coats. Yep, just 3. When he came, he brought my children with him, then my mom showed up after work. All of a sudden there were lots of us there & we stained until 11pm. About 10p, I realized my son was staining the stair landing. white. with A RAG. so, 7 hours after I finished, I realized what I’d done wrong. The paintbrush so nicely laid out for me? That was for the verathane. … when we left that night, my brother was sanding the stair treads down. The next day they were re-done with a RAG. They still moved into their house on Sunday, the 23rd, as planned. 😀

4. In the first three weeks of December I made one website, redesigned another, and planned a fundraiser — but I still got Christmas presents done! (All gifts but one were made this year.)

5. I can learn to let something be “good enough” and I am getting better at adjusting plans. (psst…it did get easier the more times I adjusted. and no one else seemed to even notice.) I got most of the planned gifts made, even with one less week between Thanksgiving & Christmas. I had to let some things be “good enough”, and in the end I didn’t do EVERYthing I planned, but what I did complete I was happy with. My son received his blanket with the front being 4″ too short on top & bottom (he’s grown about a foot since I bought the material!) and it wasn’t put together — but now I still have a project. 😀

6. This I just learned – I’m so excited!!! I finally figured out how to edit some of the code in a Child Theme. I’m still working on it – I want to know this, but I really, really hate coding. I love seeing the changes when I do actually understand a little bit of what I’m doing, but I’d much rather design :-D.

Another note about December, not really something learned but definitely appreciated. Zach flew home after one month of flying relief. Dave Forney took amazing photos, in this post he talks about the logistics and the organizations that worked together providing relief to extremely remote areas devastated by the typhoon. Again, yes, I am a proud big sister – but I love seeing my brother in his element. (2nd picture in Dave’s post: my bro is the 3rd to the right of the guy in the red t-shirt. Funny God-only-could-have-orchestrated-this note: the one in red and the guy between him & my brother – are three of NTMA’s Philippine pilots, the other two were Matt’s (my other brother) friends at Moody.)

Well – it’s now 11:40pm on the 30th for me. It is still the day for posting ‘what I learned’. Oh well, maybe next month I’ll get it done sooner :-D. Happy New Year’s Eve! I’m hoping to work on a 2013 recap for tomorrow. I really do feel excited for the new year, I don’t remember feeling this way before. …

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Merry Christmas!

Yes, it is a couple days past Christmas, but it’s not too late to say and I didn’t get to say it to you. So, I’ll say it again, “When I say: Merry Christmas! I really mean: I hope you had a very blessed and merry Christmas.” Remembering the reason we celebrate Christmas and the purpose of the season.

I really do hope this was a true realization for you. I know I had to do a lot of mental readjustment this year. With no cash flow for gifts, it made me realize something interesting about me: while I LOVE making gifts, when it’s a choice because I want to is a lot different than because I have to. Why do I/we have to be so fallen, sinful, human about doing something with the right heart? 😀

Just goes to show and proves: I NEED Jesus Christ. Every day. Every hour. Always.

I wasn’t able to wish you a Merry Christmas on Christmas because {yes, here are my excuses/’reasons’}, leading up to Christmas I didn’t choose to make the time to schedule a post. I thought I’d do it at our friend’s home. But I didn’t. I couldn’t get online on Christmas Eve night and on Christmas day I chose to focus on those I was with face-to-face, rather than worry about figuring out how to connect online. I did write a post late Chrismas night, but it seemed so shallow after the day spent, I chose to remain ‘unplugged’. But, it wasn’t because I didn’t think about you – I prayed for you. I prayed you would know the real spirit of Christmas – Jesus’ love for you. I hope your day was blessed.

Leading up to Christmas Eve I was sewing & crafting until 1am, just 8 hours before I’d planned to leave. Then I started to wrap gifts – I climbed into bed at 2am after wrapping & cleaning the living room. {NOTE: when you aren’t giving a lot of gifts, wrapping doesn’t take long. This is not a bad thing…} I slept until 8:30, then got up on the run. We were blessed to head into town for a couple days with some very dear friends. Friends I have only known a couple years compared to the 20+ years I’ve known most of our other family friends. It was such a blessed time. It was a time of relaxing.

This family has five children – the oldest was first my sister-friend, then she introduced her two youngest siblings to my children, then we parents met. My sister-friend is 10 years younger than me, and her parents are about 10 years older. Her mom and I are friends as well. Only a mom-friend can truly understand the life of being a mom.

Mom-friends, such a beautiful God-given gift.

The four are only 3 years apart – with my two being the bookends: boy (Vince), boy, girl, girl (Christine). We all homeschool and genuinely enjoy being together. These four haven’t seen each other in a while – so off they disappeared. They really only came around every once in a while for food :-), when we went to the Christmas Eve service, and opening gifts.

Christmas morning was a meshing of our two families traditions (which largely were the same: Christ, food, gifts slowly and intentionally, one-at-a-time). Mid-day a couple other singles came to enjoy the rest of the day together, cook together, fellowship together, and eat together. The evening was spent taking a gorgeous walk in the falling snow & playing games. I didn’t play games. I sat on the couch, in front of a beautiful tree and fireplace, and read. As a single parent I can’t state or express how incredibly refreshing it is to hear/see/know your childrens’ love tank is being filled. and not by you. It was truly a blissful Christmas.

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***updated to edit recipe: it should only bake for 35 min*** I used my mom’s original recipe because it was in my computer, when I went to make this on Thanksgiving I realized it should only be 35 min, by the recipe I actually use to make it. Maybe this is a difference in ovens?

In lots of conversations lately I’ve been hearing and asked about our family’s holiday traditions. So, I’ve decided to talk about it a little here – and link up to Thanksgiving Recipes over at Kelly’s, livelaughrowe.

One of our long-standing holiday traditions is to eat Swedish Kringle for breakfast on Thanksgiving and Christmas morning. This is a recipe coming from my dad’s mom. I took over making it when I was young because my mom hated trying to pat the first layer down all the way. One year, I used a 9×13 pan – it went in so much easier, my mom never looked back. She decided the recipe was for a 9×13. I go back and forth, depending on my mood in the morning. 🙂 I usually still go with the larger pan, a jelly roll stone, because I like it thinner and I spend the time patting down the mix in prayer. Squishing what bugs me, while I give it up to the One who can actually do something about it :-).

Going gluten free wasn’t that painful for me because I didn’t lose much – I never really like food, it made me sick. However, I love Swedish Kringle, it is something I look forward to twice a year – every year. I was able to successfully substitute straight brown rice flour, I didn’t like it as much though (it’s a little gritty). It is better with a mix of flours/starches to make a gluten free flour. I don’t really use Guar Gum or Xanthan Gum.

— > Swedish Kringle 4×6 <– I succeeded at uploading a PDF so you can just print it off!!!!

Can I just say – I’m totally stoked I actually got a PDF so you can just print.

Okay – so I wasn’t really done blogging today, but we just lost power – long enough to shut everything down and I lost what I was writing. I am up at the moment, but the wind is still howling. Supposedly the storm is just starting so, I’m going to post and be done for the night. This is fun to be back to writing again. 🙂 See you soon.

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Merry Christmas!

 May you know God’s blessings in this season. 

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I’m not going to go into the differences between last year and this right now – but I am going to totally change gears. Kind of. Lately my focus has been how to make life count. In cleaning out my laptop this morning I came across a letter I wrote to a youth girl in June. I thought it was really interesting how I needed to hear this right now. It was as if God had me write this nearly 6 months ago for me today.

He is in control. Yesterday. Today. and Forever.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

God made you exactly the way He wanted you to be, He didn’t make any mistakes; and every aspect of your life (big or small) is meant to be for His glory. Regardless of how that situation might feel or look.

Isn’t it crazy how beautiful God makes things, even in places where few will see or appreciate all of the intricate parts of His creation? In my mind that just proves He is a creative God who loves color, texture, variety, and everything having a perfect balance. Which {I imagine} is why he makes each of us individual with the color of our skin, hair, and eyes; the texture (or shape) of our ears, mouth, nose, eyes, bodies, and every other part of us.  

When I say “every other part of us” I am referring to our character, experiences in life, and how we choose to respond to those experiences. I have learned it is about how we respond (and choose to not react) to situations in life that we can honor and glorify Him.

Have you ever thought about the fact God made you to be who you are: a girl who has become a young woman, searching for your place in this world. Did you know you are not replaceable? Not to your parents, family, friends, parents’ friends, or friends’ parents. If you were to die (or just leave somewhere long term), we would be left with a hole in our hearts and lives, never to be re-filled as perfectly as you fit into each of our lives. You don’t have to make yourself useful. You were made special by the one and only God & Creator of the universe – to be a reflection of Him. That is your sole purpose in life – to glorify God. Our hearts were made to search out, wanting to know deeply, and love God. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, you can do that will ever change this. He sent His Son to die for each of us individually. All we have to do is accept His gift of salvation and pursue Him. There is no life experience that will ever change this truth, this promise – we have the choice to let it shape us, depending on our response, and how quickly we turn to Him for our direction. 

Psalms 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God. …”  Our purpose in life is not about what we do, or who we are.  It is about knowing He is God.  It is about trusting Him, resting in Him, believing He is God of the universe, and in every circumstance He is in control.  I want to encourage you in this time of being “unplugged” from everything normal, to turn your focus to Him; focus on who you are in Christ; rely on Him for everything; and allow your heart to be soothed and filled by the One who created you. He is the only One who can completely comfort you, filling every part of your being. 

Here is a challenge for you. By challenge, I do not mean a win or lose, make it or not, but an ongoing challenge for the rest of life (if you care to :-D). … Romans 12:1,2 (MSG) “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life – and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” 

I am in no way pointing these things out to say you aren’t already doing any one of them; but as an encouragement to do one or more if you aren’t already, or to continue if you are. I haven’t seen this version of these verses before and just recently read it – I thought it was important and wanted to share it with you. We all need the reminder of how simple it really is to do what God wants us to – and what a perfect time to start, when everything you are used to is different and you have to rely on God yourself to get through each day.

 ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

So. It’s Christmas season. Not even December yet.

Be Still.

Listen.

Then Obey. Immediately.

We are to live our lives to His Glory.

No matter what.

He is the reason for the season.

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The above verse is a reminder & confirmation to me to rest in Him. When I do His {God, King of Kings, Heavenly Father} will, He is pleased and as a result I will have peace. All Glory is His!

We have absolutely beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, snow everywhere. on our trees. on the ground. it’s cold so the snow is sparkly. As we left the house today I told my kids, “this is why we live in Alaska!” {remember, not that long ago I was struggling with darkness} It. is. so. so. very. pretty!  If only I could get a picture to do our real life surroundings justice….but I don’t have that knowledge. So the above pictures will have to suffice. :-D! It was so bright it was hurting my eyes, but I didn’t wear sunglasses. I just couldn’t….

*** Totally changing the subject now ***

I want to address something I’ve been noticing as a trend online: Christmas on a budget. While this is a wonderful idea, necessary for many, and I actually haven’t seen much I disagreed with. However, honestly, none of it has applied to me. The ideas for stocking stuffers – I don’t pay that much for gifts! What I want to talk about is: what about when a budget is out of the question? A budget for Christmas – I wish! Right now, I’m trying to figure out how to put gas in the car AND buy groceries. Buy Christmas gifts? uh, not happening.

Does this mean we don’t ‘do’ Christmas? No way! Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year.

It just means we are learning to be much more creative. Watch any good (or ‘low budget’) Christmas movie – so many are about the miracle of Christmas and how magical this time of year is. I don’t disagree Christmas is a miraculous time of year. But, look at what is often portrayed in these movies as the miracle of Christmas. People’s change of heart. Family’s reuniting. So many go too far though and it becomes a lie; I’m talking about the movies ending with financial woes and hardships coming to an end with a large gift and/or hurting hearts finding their love. While that is all good and lovely, it is not the miracle of Christmas. It’s just what is tangible and able to be felt. And the masses tend to feel more generous at this time of year (tax cut-off doesn’t hurt either). Usually it is a distraction/distortion of the truth though – many of us don’t get the huge dream we were anticipating at the 11th hour because it’s Christmas; it’s about our learning to live within the means of life, trusting Him.

What is the miracle of Christmas? God sending His Son to be born as a human, to die for each of our sins, then rise again – so we could have eternal life!

So, back to ‘doing’ Christmas…what this means, traditionally speaking, is gifts. BUT it really isn’t about the cost, size, value, or time spent on a gift. It’s about thinking of who the gift is for – so often though, it has become about making sure to have a gift for everyone we might know. I’ve never been in the financial position to be able to give what I’d like to.

{insert clarification} First of all, I have raised my kids with the understanding we don’t do big birthday parties and first choice is always to make a gift. This has made it easier for me, I don’t deny that. We didn’t have to abruptly learn how to live on nothing. We don’t just run out and buy something to buy something, no matter how much we love the person. We give gifts because we want to share a part of ourselves with another. My goal, for 12 years now, has been to keep gifts to $5 or less, in the last couple years I’ve had to go up to $7 or even $10 at times. For Christmas, my kids have basically always received one main gift and a couple other little ones, depending on the year. A couple years ago I spent the most I ever have on Christmas – it was right around $250 for everyone (total) – my children, parents, brothers, brothers’ families, family friends, youth leaders/sunday school teachers/piano teachers. Interestingly enough, it was the most empty giving I’d ever given. I hated it. I like making gifts. I’m so thankful God made me that way. However, I’ve mainly raised my children this way for a few reasons:

• Money is not plentiful for us. By the grace of God there is always money for necessities, but we don’t live ‘typically’. [see below]
• When you have to keep the cost to almost nothing you tend to think more about the receiver, what they like, their interests, not about how quick you can be done with this chore.
• When you make the gift, it is more about an expression of the receivers’ importance to you, than what the gift is.

Time for some brutal honesty: I haven’t had a source of income since August and child support quit the end of September. Simply put, it hurts. It’s beyond scary. I feel like a major failure. Some days the lack of funds overwhelms me. Some days I tell myself we’re fine. Right now – I’m having physical symptoms of tension headaches, lack of sleep, major stress….so, obviously I wasn’t doing as well at giving it all up to the Lord as I thought I was {sigh}. Be still…. While child support isn’t typically enough to live on and it hasn’t ever been consistent, it hasn’t been non-existant at the same time as me not having any other source of income. Before you have any thoughts of me having been a good planner, I must have had a savings set up, or done something smart like that – let me stop you. It isn’t true. I had no warning and no reserves, they’d been used up to get through the summer.

I suck at having a budget – why? Because I don’t have the same amount of money two months in a row, it might be $0 or up to $700. (please don’t be offended I have put actual numbers up, but I want you to understand why some of the ideas I have read seem so ludicrous to me, and I’m guessing I’m not the only one in this position.) I have learned to buy what I can when I can and we don’t do many extra’s.

• We live in an apartment attached to my parents’ home.
• My daughter & I share a bedroom.
• My son has a bedroom on my parents’ side of the house.
• My living room is 225 sf – this is where we live. do home school. where I work.
• Until this year I haven’t paid rent.
• I don’t pay for a vehicle – we drive a wrecked vehicle my dad fixed up. My dad does all vehicle maintenance.
• We just moved out of the van because I couldn’t afford to drive it. Thankfully my dad had another vehicle here he fixed up for us.

So. Christmas gifts.

—We are making them this year with supplies we already have. Not looking at ideas and going to buy supplies. It’s amazing how much stuff we have  – useful, just waiting to be used. Why not start using some of it now?

We drew names within my family and had Christmas on Thanksgiving. So I only made a gift for my dad – using pictures, like I do every year :-D. I did add a canvas print for my brother & sis-in-law of their two sweeties. For family friends/youth leader gifts this year I’m giving Chai creamer and Vanilla Sugar (I made both) in small canning jars, in the end it will be approx. 15 gifts for $9, the cost of a case of canning jars. For Christmas this year, I have purchased one gift, a Bible for Vince; he’s 15 and asked specifically for a Message Bible a few months back. I expect I will buy a few stocking stuffers, but I dont’ know what yet. I still have lots of finalizing of ‘plans’ in my head {jewelry making, sewing, scrapping, crafting} — I don’t follow patterns, so I live in a state of confusion until I get it all worked out :-D.

–Not crafty. Don’t have supplies on hand? Don’t have money for anything extra? How about taking the time to write out what someone means to you. A different element to our drawing names this year was we were to pick a verse we felt identified the receiver of our gift and before they opened their gift we said the verse and explained why. It was amazing. I made a calendar for my dad – on each month I put a verse I thought might apply for the plans I know are laid out for next year. It took a long time, but I loved giving it to him, and I loved the way it made me think ahead to the next year and be focused, intentional on how I will be praying for him each month. Cost = $2 (because I got prints of the pictures, my printer decided to die for color printing). I used my own photos I’d taken through the year. I had all the scrapbook supplies.

—Remember, the receiver of your gift doesn’t really want you to spend money you don’t have to buy them something. Plan a coffee date with a friend, make treats & coffee at home. It doesn’t have to have a cost to let someone know you care about them as a person. Allow yourself to step out of the commercialized Christmas rut and enjoy the holiday season – allow it to be a time of rest, reflect on family memories, spend time with friends and family. Slow down before the new year starts. Enjoy the kids while they’re out of school for Christmas break.

Anyway, I just wanted to be a blogger stating what others may be experiencing as well. Not having a budget for Christmas.

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This little sweetie wasn’t part of the last goodbye, and she wasn’t here late Monday night when I took the updated photos. But this is her enjoying the snowmachine ride with Uncle Zach at -20* on the eve of Christmas Eve. The other five were on sleds being towed behind. She loves her Uncle Zach, her name for him is “Ach!”

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Source: etsy.com via Alaskamom on Pinterest

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{this is a very special memory from 4 years ago, back when my camera worked well :-)}

I find it interesting that this time of year “Merry Christmas” is a very common statement and it is often said without much thought. It has become a salutation of sorts from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas Day. A lot of my thinking stems from my extreme distaste of the changeover of “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays”.

Interestingly enough, I’ve decided these two statements are not one in the same. Merry Christmas makes us think family, friends, traditions, warmth in your heart; Happy Holidays leaves me hanging. What holiday is supposed to be happy – Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, all of them? I definitely don’t like “Happy Holidays”. Being happy isn’t what Christmas is supposed to be about. I whole-heartedly believe we celebrate Christmas for the purpose of remembering what our Heavenly Father did for us so long ago. He sent his only Son, to earth as a helpless baby. {John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”} So that baby could grow up to honor Him by giving His Life for our sins. Christmas is when we celebrate His birth. I’ve come to a conclusion – more of us need to Choose Joy…so, why do I have to consciously Choose Joy? Because I am silly, I can too easily let all kinds of distractions interfere with my core beliefs.

I am seeing two very common themes – Christmas is the general overall theme, but then there are those posts from several women clinging to their faith in a loving Heavenly Father – their theme is Christmas (because that is the season we’re in), but more importantly many are putting themselves out there and it is evident they are making the deliberate choice to Choose Joy this Christmas season. These are women who are open and honest about the ups and downs in life and the hurts that result – whether by their doing, someone else’s doing, the outcome of crisis, or maybe the trial/crisis they are currently walking through.

In recent conversations with different friends I realized we tend to too quickly allow lingering disappointment a stepping place in our heart – this disappointment manifests as bitterness and sometimes anger. Funny, I think of bitterness and anger as bad if you dwell on them. I typically think of bitterness as something to avoid, not allowing it to take root at all costs. I think of anger as an emotion that isn’t bad, unless you allow it to be all consuming and control you. It is what is done in anger that is destructive, not necessarily the anger itself.

However, I am wondering if disappointment could be just as destructive? I have always thought of disappointment as unmet expectations; a way we think we should have been treated-and weren’t; the way a certain circumstance should have played out-and it didn’t; maybe it’s as simple as a daily plan that constantly changes and the resulting feeling of not getting anything done. I am wondering though – could disappointment become just as all consuming, controlling, and destructive as either anger or bitterness?

All of my rambling is to say… I’m going to work on Choosing Joy in every circumstance; I’m putting out a challenge for you to do the same. If more of us focus on Choosing Joy, the reality of Christmas really could be Merry and Blessed!

Total side note – tomorrow night I get to learn how to use my new camera! I’m super excited!!!

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