In the book, Deceived (Private Justice Book #3): A Novel*, we start off feeling a small measure of a mother’s/wife’s excruciating pain because of losing her child and husband.

Pain is heart wrenching on so many levels but we try to convince ourselves to “get over it”. Too often we tell ourselves we need to not be so touchy, don’t take [it] so personal, or even wondering if we’re making [it] up in our head. I have been trying to learn how to healthily work through pain. Pain of the past, pain in possibility, and even pain of the imagined. Am I making any sense? 

When we have been deceived, it is another level of heartbreaking – especially after you find out about the deceit. We get caught up re-hashing over and over, was the deceit on purpose – was someone else trying to deceive us? or did we deceive ourself into thinking circumstances were something different than what we wanted them to be…meaning we’ve deceived ourself.

In Deceived, I appreciated the implied love between husband and wife, evidenced by her absolute belief he would not go against her wishes, even for a moment. This is not something I can really comprehend – this absolute faith in another person. However, I have to say, even though the knowing magnified the pain of her loss all the more, I believe their relationship was patterned after the type of relationship Jesus wants with each of us. And for each of us to have with another (absolute. trustworthy. obvious. secure.).

We are a people made for community. (extreme introvert talking here. I know this can be hard, I also know it is right. There is a time for quiet, but not withdrawal completely without a specific purpose.

Heartbreak is part of community, it is life on earth. We hurt. We hurt each other. We hurt ourself. He is always ready with arms open wide waiting to draw us in to Him.

Perfect has been reserved for Heaven. When we have trusted Jesus Christ shed His blood on the Christ, conquered sin, and rose again from the dead – then His blood covers us. We will spend eternity in Heaven.

Deceived was written by a new-to-me author, Irene Hannon, and I look forward to reading more. I didn’t realize it was a book 3 until I received it – but even so, it was still really good and I didn’t feel as if parts of the story were missing. I don’t typically read suspense – but it was an okay suspense, there wasn’t anything to really creep me out (no stalking of the single girl living alone). The story explanation made me want to read it in spite of the evident suspenseful tone. 🙂

*Amazon affiliate link

**I received a complimentary copy from Revell in exchange for this review. The review is my honest opinion.**

Day 8 of 31 Days

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Do you enjoy Sci-Fi books? I just read my first. Thunder (Stone Braide Chronicles Book #1): A Novel* As I said, this was my first book of this kind to read – the story was interesting, I like Bonnie Calhoun as an author, but the story type wasn’t my favorite. I’m glad she’s writing Christian books like this though – because our children/teens need options to the other mainstream books of this kind. My daughter has been bugging me to read Hunger Games & something else (can’t remember the name) – but I didn’t want to read them & could only imagine how twisted they might be.

Back to Thunder – it was an interesting take on a ravaged life-as-we-know-it earth and people making do after a crisis. The people “divisions” were portrayed in a way that made me think about how we stereotype people based on so many different things – money/lack of, intelligence, and priorities – and treat them accordingly. Such as:

• we don’t do [whatever activity]
• we don’t watch [whatever kind of movie]
• we don’t wear [whatever]
• we don’t tattoo. pierce. dance.
• we don’t listen to [whatever] music

Each of these are notions our parents instilled in us and some we may stick with and carry on with our own children, some we turn our back on…. regardless, for whatever reason in our human minds we decide we’re somehow better than those who do [fill in the blank]. And our stereotypes have now declared classes we live by in the modern world.

There were brief hints of a life relationship being close, or not, to the Creator, but it was never stated in a Christian vs non-Christian way. This was weird for me. Since I’ve not read other books like this, I can’t compare it to it’s kind. I like Christian books because my life is the way it is because of Christ, I can’t imagine separating Him from my life. As a result, to read a book not centered in who we are in Him always leaves me left wanting. This “emptiness” was not because of the story, but because of the kind of story it is. I’m guessing it couldn’t really incorporate our Christian walk and still follow this style of book.

While I didn’t necessarily enjoy the story, I did appreciate how our faulty human nature was cleverly pointed out (whole thought process on stereotypes above). I especially appreciated the author portraying a child who has learned to survive in dire circumstances, yet so obviously still needed and wanted someone to care, to lean on. There were some descriptions I passed over because they were too graphic for me- but I’m a wimp :-). Overall, I thought the book was fine. It wasn’t my favorite, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be yours. You’ll have to read Thunder for yourself to really know – besides all I said, I suspect my daughter would give a different review, but she hasn’t read it yet. 🙂

*Affiliate link

**I was provided a complimentary copy of this book by Revell for my honest review, and I am a couple days late in posting. I’ve been sick.**

Day 11 of 31 Days

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This story was different in that it starts off as a reflection in 1977, of a past several years prior – that is a while ago. Even then, the differences between the Amish & English were great. It made me wonder how much more-so this is true now.

The River* has so many truths imbedded – regardless of whether you are Amish, or an Englisher. No matter your upbringing. No matter your age – as daughters, we look to our fathers for acceptance and approval. We look to our mothers too, but I think our fathers even more. I appreciated Beverly’s choice of the sisters to not turn their back on their faith, as much as the organized religion they were raised in. She showed how they still had very personal relationships with Jesus, relationships in the process of growing  even in hardship. This story is truly timeless, all the relational issues portrayed are still the same today. Tilly and her sister had to trust they were making a right decision, even though it hurt to follow through and it was hard.

The River touched on family crisis, the resulting hurt, and leaving the Amish ways but not their faith in Christ. The realness of daughters searching for their father’s approval no matter what age you are, or the upbringing you’ve had, was hard. Throughout the book, you feel how difficult it is to repair relationships – even in “simpler” settings.

Beverly has a way of writing about the hard stuff, but keeping each individual’s relationship with Christ as the focus, not their religion or the life choices they make.

*Affiliate link

**I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers, in exchange for my honest review.**

Day 15 of 31 Days

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Keepers of the Covenant (book 2), portrays a different side of the story of Esther. I had often wondered what the Jews thought of the King’s decree, but I hadn’t ever really thought about how it all played out for them. Also, the non-instantness of communication – in this book you painfully felt the time lag. The months of desperation & uncertainty of the Jews’ waiting – they were living every day lives, just like us today – but with a HUGE question lingering on how God was going to protect them. Some Jews didn’t even turn to God because they had strayed so far from Him in the first place. I find it easy to forget when I always see the beginning and the end of their story in a short time, just read the book of Esther, and it’s a short little story. But Lynn helps us realize they had to live out their story just like each of us. One day at a time.

Choosing to believe and be faithful, in spite of what the circumstances looked or felt like.

Also, I have a renewed appreciation for the barrier Jesus conquered with His death & resurrection for those of us who are Gentiles, and not having to be dependent on daily sacrifices. Oh, I am so thankful He has covered me.

For unto us a child is born… Isaiah 9:6

For you. For me. God sent His son as a baby, to die on the cross, to be raised again – for us. The Restoration Chronicles is an awesome series to read and be reminded of how much we have to be thankful for.

When I received the book in the mail I was surprised to find out it was a book 2… I made the decision to order book 1 and read it first – and even thought book 1 took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to come, I am SO GLAD I waited! While neither book is dependent on the other, I so appreciate having the history in order in my mind.

I received this book (Keepers of the Covenant) for free from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review, and my simple, honest opinion: if you like Biblical Historical Fiction – get the book, you won’t be sorry! There is so much more I could say, but so you can enjoy the read for yourself I won’t say it all :-).

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I enjoyed Emissary, a fantasy written by Thomas Locke.

I have especially enjoyed thinking back on the story. I have always been gripped by Davis Bunn’s writing and wasn’t sure if writing under a different name would change that – but I really don’t think it did (since I’m still remembering parts of the story).

I appreciated that at the beginning of the story he started out with realities in our world and then progressed into fantasy. Because it didn’t start out as fantasy, I was better able to understand what was going on. I believe, like Narnia & Lord Of The Rings (which are dearly loved in our home), there are a lot of intentional allegories in Emissary.

I have found as time has gone on, I remember several specific scenes and one allegory I believe Locke meant to portray – fear can seriously mess with my mind, but fear is actually powerless over me – unless I give in and agree with the fears, the unknowns, the lies. I think I actually enjoyed the elves the most in this story. I look forward to seeing the movie with my daughter some day.

** I received a free copy of Emissary from Revell for the purpose of review. All words, thoughts & opinions are my own. **

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Hidden Agenda was the first book I’ve read by Lisa Harris. I was not disappointed in this new-to-me author, I was immediately gripped by the story line and characters, making it very hard for me to put down. I didn’t realize before receiving the book it was a book 3, but the story stood alone and was fine – however, I wish I hadn’t missed the other two books, which I assume were just as good as this one. …. I’m weird about only reading series in order 🙂 – if I miss a book, oh well.

On the page prior to Chapter 1, the story is introduced with Luke 8:17,

“For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.”

This verse was an amazing introduction and Harris did an awesome job with the story, making the verse come alive with possible “real” life, and current day circumstances” – there were several “secrets brought to light” that made for very interesting twists.

I don’t usually read Romance or Suspense – but this was a really good book, I’m glad I didn’t know in advance that it was labeled as either of those. I caught something about murder mystery (why I wanted to read it), but there is so much more. The romance element is more about individuals coming closer to God and learning to trust each other because of Him; and the suspense wasn’t creepy.

Harris did a wonderful job showing how we can make a quick decision in life circumstances, one that can seem like a good idea at the moment, but when we realize this isn’t the case we think we have to “stick with our decision” (or even just not know how to change the direction the results start to go because we’re overwhelmed or ashamed by them). But then how much worse it can get or the “little” decision can direct us so far away from what we really want long term and how the trickle down effect can be so incredibly painful for ourselves and others.

* I received a copy of Hidden Agenda from Revell, for the purpose of review. All words, thoughts & opinions are my own. *

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I have been fascinated with Esther’s story for along time – it seems so modern for the times. The whole spending-the-night-with-the-king audition to become queen is mind boggling to me. Regardless, I found myself feeling jerked around with all the “extra” story leading up to the more well-known story of Esther. There were several times I had to force myself to continue reading, but felt it was totally untrue to the Biblical accounting and Bible Studies I’ve done in the past. At the end, it is clarified that Hunt did lots of research from other historical documentation and went with more widely believed ideas – in that sense I think she did an amazing job. Also, it made me go back and search Scripture and double check why I thought certain parts were incorrect. <- Another REALLY good thing. In the end I’d have to say the book is good, it presents perspectives I’ve never considered before. I’m thinking our Sunday School version has been sorely mis-represented.

With all of that understanding I appreciate that Hunt challenged me with possible “extremes” to check out what I thought I knew. However, I honestly have to say I found myself disappointed while reading the book. Does this mean I won’t read the rest of the series? Absolutely not – I look forward to reading them, but I will read them with a different mind set than how I started Esther – more novel’ish, less Biblical. And I’ll know in advance Hunt has studied the history thoroughly for the “open to interpretation” parts of history; so I won’t be questioning major differences like I did throughout this story. The cover of the book is beautiful & has a nice feel, there is a hint of texture, which always makes me happy :-).

**I received this book for free from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for my honest review.**

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I read for hours today.

Absolutely blissful!

For years I have purposed to rest on Sunday’s (or at least once a week), but with two teenagers and their schedules – my way of resting has had to look different the last couple years. The last two months this has been changing “back” to the way I like it :-D…

Just so you know: I’m not “legalistic” about not working on Sundays – if I want to do laundry, I do it. But if it feels like a chore that day, then I don’t. Some weeks I’ll cook in advance for the week. Most weeks – nope. Sometimes resting is to clean. Most weeks  I try hard to do it on Saturday. If it doesn’t get done on Saturday & feels like a chore on Sunday, it waits for Monday.

During campaign season I started to “let” myself do design work on Sunday’s because I enjoy it so much it doesn’t feel like work/a chore, but it was becoming an inability on my part to just set “being productive” aside to rest. All of this is to say, Sunday days of rest + chunks of hours at home + a whole lot less activity = I’m beginning to feel not so drained. I’m feeling optimistic I’ll start to blog more consistently :-D. (I actually have four draft posts waiting to be finished) My thoughts are starting to actually line up and still be coherent at the end of the line :-D.

So, on to the book review… Where Rivers Part: A Texas Gold Novel was the first book I’ve read by Kellie Coates Gilbert, and I will definitely be reading more! The story was immediately captivating and has some seriously unexpected twists, teaching us in story version that without heart & soul – we have nothing.

The main character, Dr. Juliet Ryan, has many struggles and has to work out her faith from a position of brokenness she couldn’t even begin to imagine. There are some extremely hard, heart-breaking moments (won’t lie, I shed a few tears), but the goodness of our God is weaved through the story in a beautiful way. On the back cover there is an accurate imagery of this story, “mighty river with twists and turns and hidden rocks”. It felt evident throughout the story the author had experience with what she was writing about, I was not surprised to learn at the end she had actually worked on the events of the mid-90s Jack-In-The-Box devastation. I basically devoured this book.

Once again, I didn’t know in advance this was book #2 in a series (it has a pretty cover [sheepish grin]. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a good cover?), but I’m guessing the books stand alone because I never once felt lost, or as if I’d missed something in the story. I don’t have a reason to think I wouldn’t read book #1, given the option, and I look forward to reading book #3 and more by this author.

* This book was provided by Revell Publishing in exchange for my honest review.*

**This post contains affiliate links.**

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As you probably already know – I LOVE reading Biblical Fiction. It helps me understand the Bible better because of the lifestyle being more spelled out; I tend to “live” the story I am reading. I don’t have a problem believing the Bible, I just don’t pick up so many of the underlying significances because I don’t have the history knowledge. But, put history in story form and I’m hooked. It would be a toss up as to whether I prefer Biblical or Historical Fiction, with that said – I have to know I can trust the author and their research abilities. If I don’t know an author, I tend to be leary all the way through the story and until I hear information verified from an unrelated source. Anyway….

I really enjoyed reading The Crimson Cord: Rahab’s Story by Jill Eileen Smith, it is the story of Rahab. (*affiliate link)

Even though as children we learn Rahab was a prostitute, we don’t really know what that means growing up, or maybe you did (I didn’t). Then when I learned what it really meant, in my naivety I assumed it was a choice she’d made. This was the second Biblical Fiction I’ve read about Rahab and both times it’s been suggested she was forced into this way of life because of her beauty. I really appreciated Smith’s way of suggesting it wasn’t a simple reason and without a lot of hurt as to why she was in this profession. At the same time, exploring the idea there was safety for her because she lived this way. <- also, the second time this has been portrayed. It was prostitution or worse.

It sounds so easy when we hear about Rahab’s belief, but Smith wrote it beautifully – there wasn’t an elaborate plan or reasoning, Rahab just knew in her heart. For Rahab to believe so contrary to her own country, but to know that she knew she could trust the Israelite spies is crazy-ness, but so very like God in His nature. I appreciate that Smith did not try to elaborate or speculate on this part of the story. Instead it was left pure – Rahab believed in the God of the Israelites. She didn’t try to fix/change/justify her life – she simply believed and Jesus met her where she was.

It was so refreshing to again be reminded of the “imperfect-ness” in the line of Jesus. (You can bring your mess to Jesus.)

How crazy is this? Remember Ruth, the Moabite, who followed Naomi back to her homeland, because she believed? Remember how she married Boaz, the kinsmen redeemer? By laying at his feet in the middle of the night before they got married (not a “good girl” thing to do) – crazy! …and, she became Rahab’s daughter-in-law. Isn’t our God amazing?!

If you want to read these stories yourself in the Bible, I’ve linked to Bible Gateways’ website. Look at this: Matthew 1:5-16

Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab.

Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth.

Obed the father of Jesse.

Jesse the father of King David…

(then a whole bunch of generations in verses 6b-15)

…Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Jesus.

WOW! If you want to read more about a couple of the women in this lineage.

• Rehab: an Amorite, a prostitute; you can find Rahab’s story in the Bible at Joshua 2, and there is more explanation here about Rahab
• Ruth: a Moabite, loyal to Naomi, laid down at the feet of Boaz in the night; she has a book named after her, Ruth
• Mary: “favored one” of God; even though she was young & unmarried, she miraculously conceived Jesus by the Holy Spirit; parts of her story are found in Matthew 1&2 and Luke 1

Too often we get caught up in thinking we need to live or be a certain way in order to be “good enough” to turn to Jesus. We can come in all our mess to the throne of Jesus, don’t try to fix your life – bring your mess to Jesus.

** I received a copy of The Crimson Cord from Revell in exchange for my honest review. I was not required or encouraged to write a positive review. **

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Also – I FINALLY went through my 1,000s of photos from the Philippines and made a book – it took me three days straight and most of another to narrow it down to a 40 page book. I ended up pulling most of my flower/scenery ones & I’ll have to do a second book. I’m so excited to see some of them in print! While I’ve had them organized, I have only printed one photo since coming back.

Two years ago right now we were inside two weeks from leaving for two months. My heart has ached from missing the Philippines this year – I suspect because Zach & Jane and the kids were here most of last year and now they’re back over there. Assuming I get our schedule shifts smoothed out (I’m trying to get the blog into the schedule) I’d love to do a photo(s)/day to remember our time there. I know I won’t actually make it to posting here each day – but I have started trying to learn instagram, so maybe it’ll happen there. (if 5 pictures over the last 2wks counts as learning)…

The following picture is from the tribe we went to in the Philippines when we got to stay for three days – over Mother’s Day. This is the view from our friends’ front door. So beautiful!

Today is Palm Sunday. For the first time in my life I’ve been reading a Lent devotional (SheReadsTruth.com <-AWESOME!). Alongside the devotional I’ve been reading another book, You’re Loved No Matter What by Holley Gerth. Amazing! I’m still working to mentally process so much of the book. I so appreciate her style of writing, it’s is as if you were sitting together with a friend visiting. So often I think of a question while reading and within a sentence or two, she answers my question – as if I asked aloud & she heard me. This book is no different.

It has been amazing to read during this Lent season as well, it has made the gift of sacrifice on Good Friday & Jesus’ resurrection on Easter have so much more meaning going into this week.

For example: Today is Palm Sunday, the day Jesus rode the donkey & everyone waved palm branches. What was brought to my attention in the Lent devotional: Jesus, as a human, was fully aware and purposely went to Jerusalem – knowing he was going to die. It was a hard thing, something He was willing to do for us, but He would rather not have to do. But He went because it was His Father’s (my Father’s) will for Him to do. Why? (from You’re Love No Matter What) Because He loves us. because He loves me. He loves all of us as a whole. He loves each of us individually. no matter what.

For the first time I’m equating the fact (mentally receiving the idea) He went to Jerusalem specifically to die, because He loves me. I always thought the importance of the story was because He was riding a baby donkey (an unridden colt) – I have only looked at the surface.

Jesus loves each of us individually – NO MATTER what we have done (or not done) in life. 

For a long time I’ve thought I was working on/was over perfectionism in my life. My twisted idea of what “being perfect” meant, I thought I was choosing to not be, so I was “over” it. Such a trap. a lie. However, throughout this book I’ve realized the fears I’m working to get past are part of perfectionism too. And I can’t “work to get past” them. I simply need to focus on enjoying a full life in Jesus & quit trying so hard. In a weird, backwards way I’ve been stuck in a cycle of perfectionism and being paralyzed by the overwhelm to be “perfect”. I feel as if each morning I’ve had a coffee visit with Holley and she has helped me see how this ISN’T how our Father wanted me to live, it is why He sent His son to die – for each of us. We are ALL loved already – NO MATTER what. Oh.my.goodness!!! See how it all comes full circle? He is a crazy, amazing, wonderfully good God. and He loves you! There will always be an element of longing & waiting for perfect, because we won’t be perfect until we’re in heaven.
We are only/already a third of the way through 2015 and this has been a year for receiving. My heart is full. Receive has not been in outward, evident, tangible ways, but so many mental ways. Choosing to receive, choosing to receive grace, choosing to believe differently than I thought before. Choosing to embrace the truth of His love has been so refreshing.

**I received a copy of this book from Revell in exchanged for my honest review. I was not required to write a positive review.**

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