As I work my daughter is doing something I am soooo jealous about…

She is playing with my camera.

my lens.

practicing macro photography.

oh…to be 14 again. Not the 14 I lived, but 14 with what I know now would be nice :-). It’s nearing midnight and this is what our evening has looked like for several hours. I’m not getting a “real” post out because we were gone from the house for 7.5 hours today and now I’ve been working for the last 6 from here at home. It’s time to go to bed, but I still have a few edits ahead of me before my evening is done.

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Did you know Jesus loves you?

 All the time. No matter what.

He cherishes you. (He doesn’t ever not cherish you. No one means more to Him than you.)

Two years ago – this month – a couple days from now – the last time I wrote in the 31 Days Challenge – I wrote 31 Days {Trusting}. I just saw this again today, I didn’t remember it until reading it today.

What I find really interesting: 1. I was evidently wrestling with something; 2. I knew all I could do was Trust Him. Lean on Him. Pray to Him.; and 3. I was making a conscience effort to not lean on my own understanding.

Now. Two years later, I don’t remember what was bothering me then.

But today:

• Now I know that for the next two years I’d be unemployed.
• Now I know I’d make it through two very dark winters – financially, emotionally & physically – but by His grace, spiritually strengthening.
• Now, I know some things I wish I didn’t.
• Also, at the time it was just a seed of a thought, within 6 months the kids and I were half way thru our two months of living in the Philippines! (What a crazy, awesome God  we serve – in my brokenness, He provided the experience of a lifetime!!!)

As a result of the hardships yet to come (2 years ago) … Now, I am wiser. I understand His love for me better. I am able to say I am thankful for the life lessons from the last two years. I pray two years from now I will be able to say this even more so.

I am loved, all the time.

I am cherished, by my Father who created me.

Love is patient, love is kind.

[Love] does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

[Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. (I Corinthians 13:4-8)

Do you notice how much fun the ‘love is’ part is:

• Love is patient. (least fun, opportunity for most practice.)
• Love is kind.
• Love rejoices with the truth.
• Love always protects.
• Love always trusts.
• Love always hops.
• Love always perseveres. (you’re right, it may not always feel fun)

{sigh} Isn’t this is the love we are always seeking. There is no substitute.

Don’t be confused with “love” as we too often experience it. Don’t forget to notice the list of what love is NOT…

• When someone says they’re jealous because they love you so much;
• when someone is constantly boasting about what they’ve done;
• when someone’s pride is the third party in your friendship/relationship;
• when someone dishonors you;
• when someone is self-seeking in what they plan/suggest;
• when someone is easily (or often) angered;
• when someone is tracking what wrong things you do/have done;
• when someone enjoys evil – whatever form it may be –

they don’t love you. They might think they do, they may try to say they do, but they don’t. Don’t settle.

Seek your Father, He loves you. (He promises to be found by you). Always.

There is only one Love. (Love from people will always fail, we are human.)

Oh, how the Father loves me. Oh, how slow I’ve been to understand this and receive His gifts of grace, love, and mercy. Oh how thankful I am for His forgiveness. Daily.

Day 17 of 31 Days

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Today Christine and I tackled her room. It is once again a haven for her, a place she can enjoy. We’ve been trying to tackle this project for weeks – but we just couldn’t ever quite make it. Today we conquered!

This is the view as you walk into her room. The bathroom door is immediately on the left, that green dress is hanging on the outside. The bed is to the right and the rest of her room is further in. #1 is a large, double, porcelain sink that will be moving to the cabin. It has been the utility sink in this corner for 15 years though and it’s huge & heavy…so until the cabin is ready, the sink stays. #2 is the replacement sink, when #1 goes. We thought this would happen this summer – but it didn’t :-D. After today, it is holding all her empty backpacks/wallets/bags.  #3 is full of notebooks, drawing, miscellaneous stuff she doesn’t want to get rid of, but doesn’t know where to put and doesn’t want to look at.

Looking the rest of the way to the right. See the pretty sparkles over the window? Because there is so much darkness in the winter and the position of the window in the house – there is never direct sun into her room and the day light isn’t much to speak of in the winter….so, I have two tension rods up – the inside one is a white alternative down blanket to block cold (folded in half, then over the rod – so it’s four thicknesses of blanket) and the front one has the white sheer with sparkles (again folded over length wise since the window is short. She never has to feel as if someone can see in & it helps keep her room warmer. Because it’s not a window with darkness outside it helps her room be brighter too. In the spring/summer/early fall months it is just the sheer with sparkles in front of the glass.

The shelves are holding all her paper craft stuff, painting, sewing, clay, legos, Only Hearts Dolls, American Girl dolls/clothes, and a ton of books.

A darker view, but the lights glare so much it’s hard to get a picture. The closet is behind the wall you see on the left. It is so hard for me to imagine how all of this used to fit into my room! She doesn’t have more stuff (except toilet & sink) CRAZY!!!

She finally has a “vanity table”. We have tried many different configurations – but this is the one I came up with today. The other two tries have flopped, third time’s the charm – right? 😀 When all the lights are on it’s very bright, so she’s going to try to put make up on down there. You can see her scarves and all the elastic headbands hanging on the wall. I think this set up might actually work for her. As much as she & I are alike…. when it comes to everything having a place and everything in it’s place – we are extreme opposites. I’m hoping this isn’t “so” organized she shuts down, but instead she’ll actually follow through with putting stuff where it belongs. Time will tell :-).

When you turn around from the vanity area. Isn’t it cozy? (Please excuse the sheet hanging down.) I got the fun duvet cover from IKEA, when I got to go there this summer.

And again with lights on and seeing the bedroom door shut.

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He is with me wherever I go.

Today has been a long day after a week of long days. I am beyond tired. The doctor actually told me this morning (14+ hours ago) that sleep would be like medicine for me and a bonus would be to relieve stress in my life. Not sure how I am gong to incorporate these two elements, but I believe writing here will help … not totally sure how adding something to my daily schedule will relieve stress.

Guess it just goes to show how relief comes in all forms – for me it is usually in quiet and/or creating, and I have not had much of either lately.

I am also choosing to trust, hope, believe all is for the best regarding lots of changes right now. Again, not normal for me. I like status quo. routine. rhythm. plans. lists. I’ve quit writing lists because I got so discouraged in how many times a day my list was having to change. Think that’s going to change. I miss lists, not for them to dictate my day but to be a tool to keep me on track.

Day 3 of 31 Days

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In the last week I’ve started, completed & sent out for printing:

• 4 newspaper ads (2 were half page, 2 were full page)
• 4 direct mail mailers
• 1 fundraiser invitation
• 1 fundraiser invitation by email
• 1 website redesign/add pages/edits (in Dreamweaver)
• correcting candidate info on a second website (learning a new platform).

In case you aren’t aware – this was a whole lot of designing/re-designing, writing/re-writing, input/output, and edits of writing & layout – all coming out of my mind. I’ve been creatively spent dry. While I enjoy it – I had nothing left to give here. Not even text on a photo. Then the couple times I tried, I couldn’t log in – the internet has been annoying. Throw doing the latest OS X update to Yosemite on my laptop in there (it got stuck and I thought that would help). It did, but I didn’t realize how much would change and it put me in panic mode for a bit. In case you’ve missed it in the past – I’m visual & I STINK at reading directions and understanding them. Show me & I get it… So, when everything looks different – ugh!

Oh – and this was all in addition to taking my kids to their classes on 4 of the 5 school days too, and we’re planning our local Young Life Banquet right now too. So, there are more things being created :-D. On Monday night a friend and I made 100 wire picture holder thingies…doesn’t look like that many, does it? It is. 

The above photo is me sitting in my car last night during my daughter’s gymnastics class. That cookie bag would be dinner, coffee (duh!), and a good read. A wonderful way to spend an hour and a half… On the cookies – Ginger Molasses are the BEST! Snickerdoodles aren’t bad. Lemon Burst – I like lemon, but for me there was a weird after taste. No one else thought so though. Those are the three I’ve tasted – again, the Ginger Molasses….YUM!

Notice what I accomplished today (besides the 2nd round of website updates), all because I had an unexpected couple more hours at home <- LOVE that!!!…. In case you’re new here & don’t know it’s not normal – I have Amazon ads, these are affiliate links. If you are already looking to buy something and happen to think of it – I’d appreciate it if you use my link. I’m hoping this can help me get “my” camera sooner….

My daughter has basically taken over my D3100 and I reallllly miss a “real” camera, the iPhone just doesn’t hack it for me. I’m too much of a low light, macro & zoomer…..so, with all of that said… I now have Amazon affiliate links & banners all over :-).

and just because I can’t not have a pretty picture – look at tonight’s sunset! Sunsets are so pretty in the winter, remember -it’s the only time we get to see them. I am already thinking about how nice it would be to be WARM while enjoying a sunset – not a good thing considering it hasn’t even really snowed yet. We had a “dusting” less than an inch & basically all melted same day. once, several days ago.

I hope you are having a wonderful last couple days of October. I’m so ready for November 4th to be behind us and start the fall/holiday season!!! 😀

*All link are Amazon Affiliate links.

**All photos are iPhone pictures – not my favorite, but what I have right now.

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I miss my camera. I’m saving to get the Nikon D7100…… my brother dropped his off today so I could play with it for a day or so to make sure I like it :-).

I am asking my Father for some things right now. I am asking for enough income to not be miserable this winter. I am hoping and praying my “business” can gain it’s footing. I say “business” because I STINK at running a business – it confuses my brain.

I am seeking Him. I am seeking clarity. I’d be happy working a consistent job from home too, I’m not stuck on owning my own business, but I’ve been doing mostly freelance work and some of the people I work for need me to have a state business license. I’d like this to become enough income to be able to count on having funds. The constant uncertainty gets draining. My hope is in Him.

I am knocking. He is answering. I’ve been so busy because of a couple projects, but I know it will come to a halt with election day (hazard of working for political candidates). However, I am trusting, hoping, continuing to knock on doors to see which will be opened by His hand.

Day 4 of 31 Days

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Colliding with Destiny was a good book about working through the process of colliding well. I needed this information. I tend to shy away from potential collisions, but Sally showed how collisions are for our good – when the collision is with God’s Destiny for us.

I appreciated seeing/learning about Ruth from the perspective Jakes shared – not just as a woman who did things right, but HOW she did them right. I highlighted a lot. I plan to go back through the book and use it as a reminder to myself on how to navigate through some life collisions. I am trusting they are collisions God wants me to have, but because of past pain I tend to detour.

I also appreciated the author’s story being woven into the pages, the chapters, the journalling and prayers at the end of each chapter were insightful to how she learned, and is continuing to learn, the lessons she shares.

Here is one small quote from the book:

When we experience a crisis, we become disoriented, confused, and uncertain about what’s what. The world we once knew has forever changed – our expectations, our goals, our journeys. Drained of strength, certainty, and significance, we no longer remember who we are or even how we arrived at such a place in our lives. (page 40)

This is such an accurate description, I can’t say I’ve ever equated any of those emotions/feelings as colliding with God’s destiny for me.

**I received a complimentary copy of Colliding with Destiny from Bethany House Publishers for my honest review.**

 Day 6 of 31 Days

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In the book, Deceived (Private Justice Book #3): A Novel*, we start off feeling a small measure of a mother’s/wife’s excruciating pain because of losing her child and husband.

Pain is heart wrenching on so many levels but we try to convince ourselves to “get over it”. Too often we tell ourselves we need to not be so touchy, don’t take [it] so personal, or even wondering if we’re making [it] up in our head. I have been trying to learn how to healthily work through pain. Pain of the past, pain in possibility, and even pain of the imagined. Am I making any sense? 

When we have been deceived, it is another level of heartbreaking – especially after you find out about the deceit. We get caught up re-hashing over and over, was the deceit on purpose – was someone else trying to deceive us? or did we deceive ourself into thinking circumstances were something different than what we wanted them to be…meaning we’ve deceived ourself.

In Deceived, I appreciated the implied love between husband and wife, evidenced by her absolute belief he would not go against her wishes, even for a moment. This is not something I can really comprehend – this absolute faith in another person. However, I have to say, even though the knowing magnified the pain of her loss all the more, I believe their relationship was patterned after the type of relationship Jesus wants with each of us. And for each of us to have with another (absolute. trustworthy. obvious. secure.).

We are a people made for community. (extreme introvert talking here. I know this can be hard, I also know it is right. There is a time for quiet, but not withdrawal completely without a specific purpose.

Heartbreak is part of community, it is life on earth. We hurt. We hurt each other. We hurt ourself. He is always ready with arms open wide waiting to draw us in to Him.

Perfect has been reserved for Heaven. When we have trusted Jesus Christ shed His blood on the Christ, conquered sin, and rose again from the dead – then His blood covers us. We will spend eternity in Heaven.

Deceived was written by a new-to-me author, Irene Hannon, and I look forward to reading more. I didn’t realize it was a book 3 until I received it – but even so, it was still really good and I didn’t feel as if parts of the story were missing. I don’t typically read suspense – but it was an okay suspense, there wasn’t anything to really creep me out (no stalking of the single girl living alone). The story explanation made me want to read it in spite of the evident suspenseful tone. 🙂

*Amazon affiliate link

**I received a complimentary copy from Revell in exchange for this review. The review is my honest opinion.**

Day 8 of 31 Days

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Basically, if I link to an actual product – it’ll be an affiliate link.

My mental challenge to myself this month, as I write for 31 days in a row, is to actually do some of these weird, simple, but ‘scary’ things and tell you about them. And, since I can’t gather my thoughts enough to even make a list of what these things will be….my challenge is when it flits through my mind – to stop and do it.

Pretty simple. We’ll see how it goes :-D.

Day 5 of 31 Days

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I really, really, really, really, REALLY dislike Algebra. This is now my 4th round with it…have to say, I think I’m finally starting to understand a couple elements <- seriously? DEPRESSING!

• Round #1: me in high school.
• Round #2: me in college.
• Round #3: my son in high school.
• Round #4: my daughter in high school.

As my brother & I discuss how to do a specific type of problem (with the answer book open and completed steps done – each of us wondering, why did they do it that way?). The age-old question always surfaces so quickly – really, do we use this in “normal”, practical, real life? Nope.

I would consider both of my brothers intelligent. One is an Alaskan bush pilot – he flies a Super Cub & 185; the other flies an R44 helicopter. Both of them use math every.single.day. every.hour. in.so.many.ways to be safe in the air, and it isn’t Algebra as taught to high schoolers… enough said.

So, tonight as one of my brothers helped my children with Algebra 1 (9th grader) and Algebra 2 (11th grader) – when my brain shut down due to overwhelm (my defense: we did work on Algebra for over an hour earlier today & honestly, I couldn’t figure out any other ways to try to explain it). I came back to my house, ate a yummy treat, sat in front of my computer and did a bazillion other things (after getting the internet working again).

I am blessed.

**Photo of my brothers was not taken by me, and I don’t know who took it. I believe it was taken back in 2005 or 2006. It’s just one of my favorite :-D.

Day 7 of 31 Days

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