thoughts Archives | Flowers&Rust Co. https://flowersandrust.com/tag/thoughts/ Designs & Transitions in life. Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.1 https://flowersandrust.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/cropped-flowers-rust-logo-32x32.jpg thoughts Archives | Flowers&Rust Co. https://flowersandrust.com/tag/thoughts/ 32 32 31 Days {Jeremiah 29:11} https://flowersandrust.com/31-days-jeremiah-2911/ https://flowersandrust.com/31-days-jeremiah-2911/#comments Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:42 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=959 I visualize everything. For the most part, if I can’t visualize it – I don’t get it.  I am one...

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]]> I visualize everything. For the most part, if I can’t visualize it – I don’t get it.  I am one who needs to see the whole picture, point or purpose, in order to really understand something. {Which has made for some really frustrating conversations between my dad or brother and I. The other brother and I seem to talk/understand the same. It’s kind of funny. Except in the moment.}

Interestingly enough, I don’t need to understand God’s whole picture to function. I have pretty much always been okay with, “I don’t have to understand/like it, but I don’t have to – it’s not up to me, I am not God.” I know He is in control and that is good enough for me. {I attribute this greatly to growing up with my earthly father being very trustworthy. His plans might scare me spit-less (and he has, literally scared me spit-less), but I trust him. He is the only person on this earth I trust so fully and completely.}

So, even though I don’t need to understand God’s plan – I still see verses in nature/scenery/certain photos. When I see certain sights, or take photos of a specific view; I am usually “hearing” verses in my head. Sometimes in my voice, sometimes as a chorus of people – adult & children together. So, In July 2008 I saw a scene that TOTALLY had Jeremiah 29:11-14a all over it.

The text is how I visualize the verse; the picture to me screams these verses. I took this picture when hiking in July 2008. We were literally on the top ridge of the mountains. Both sides go a loooooong ways down, but this fog rolled in and you couldn’t see anything. I remember thinking how it looked like Jeremiah 29:11-14a then. I don’t know that I can even get out why in words. I’m going to try. with more visual text.

We are walking on the ridge. = We have a narrow path to walk. It hurts when we slip.

The fog is overwhelming. = Life can be suddenly overwhelming, with fog. Nothing really tangible, but totally clouds our view/perspective. Making everything seem off, unclear, worse than it probably is.

Either left or right works, as long as you stay on the path. = Sometimes we just need to make a decision and start walking one direction or the other. He promises to be there & guide us when we ask.

I love the comfort of knowing the specific “to-do’s” in these verses are so simple – helps me understand better the, “my burden is light & my yoke is easy” verse. What am I to-do?

Call upon Him | Go to Him | Pray to Him

He promises to listen, in addition He promises:

I will seek Him | I will find Him [WHEN I seek Him with ALL my heart]

Then He promises to be found by me.

Amazing! It really is so simple. This section of verses are verses I claimed 12-13 years ago, and have clung desperately to ever since. As a single mom with two preschool children I remember being so relieved I didn’t have to do anything complicated.

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/31-days-jeremiah-2911/feed/ 4 Book Break – Captivating #8 https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-8/ https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-8/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:41 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=145 Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let’s get ready to be encouraged. As I’ve stated before, my hope is...

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]]>

Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let’s get ready to be encouraged.
As I’ve stated before, my hope is you will be curious and intrigued to the point of checking this book out (in its entirety) for yourself.   {Please note: these are all direct quotes from the book, Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.}
~~~
Captivating
Chapter 8 – Beauty to Unveil
*      (pg 128) The essence of a man is Strength.  A man is meant to be the incarnation – our experience in human form – of our Warrior God.
*      (pg 129)  To experience the strength of a man is to have him speak on our behalf.
*      For when men abuse with words, we are pierced.  Their strength has wounded us.  When they are silent, we are starved.  They have offered no strength; they have abandoned us.  But when they speak with us, hear us, offer their words to us and on our behalf, something in our hearts is able to rest.
*      We long for the protection masculine strength offers.  To have them shield us from physical harm, yes.  But also to have them shield us from emotional harm and spiritual attack.  To intercede for us in a relationship which has become hurtful.
*      As women we long for someone strong to stand between us and the vicious assaults of our Enemy.
*      (pg 130)  Strength is what the world longs to experience from a man.  Now – isn’t it obvious that we don’t mean big muscles?
*      The strength of a man is first a soulish strength – a strength of heart.  And yes, as he lives it out, owns it, inhabits his strength, he does become more handsome.  More attractive.  As the fruit of an inner reality.
*      So then you can see that when we speak about the essence of a woman – her beauty – we don’t mean “the perfect figure.”  The beauty of a woman is first a soulish beauty.
*      The beauty of a woman is first a soulful beauty.  And yes, as we live it out, own it, inhabit our beauty, we do become more lovely.  More alluring.
*      Our true self becomes reflected in our appearance.  But it flows from the inside out.
The Essence of a Woman
*      The essence of a woman is Beauty.  She is meant to be the incarnation – our experience in human form – of a Captivating God.  A God who invites us.
*      (pg 131)  Beauty is what the world longs to experience from a woman.  We know that.  Somewhere down deep, we know it to be true.  Most of our shame comes from this knowing and feeling that we have failed here.  So listen to this: beauty is an essence that dwells in every woman.  It was given to her by God.  It was given to you.
*      All around us God’s creation shouts of his beauty and his goodness. 
*      God’s beauty is lavished on the world.
*      Beauty is powerful.  Beauty may be the most powerful thing on earth.  Beauty speaks.  Beauty invites.  Beauty nourishes.  Beauty comforts.  Beauty inspires.  Beauty is transcendent.  Beauty draws us to God.
*      As Simone Weil wrote, “The beauty of the world is almost the only way by which we can allow God to penetrate us …Beauty captivates the senses in order to obtain permission to pass straight through to the soul…The soul’s inclination to love beauty is the trap God most frequently uses in order to win it.”
*      (pg 132)  God has given this Beauty to Eve, to every woman.  Beauty is core to a woman – who she is and what she longs to be – and one of the most glorious ways we bear the image of God in a broken and often ugly world.
*      Women are creatures of great mystery; not problems to be solved buy mysteries to be enjoyed.
*      Women want to impact their world for good.
*      …one of the key ways we influence our world is in making it a more beautiful place to live.
*      Beauty is the most essential and, yes, the most misunderstood of all the feminine qualities. 
*      We want you to hear clearly that it is an essence every woman carries from the moment of her creation.  The only things standing in the way of our beauty are our doubts and fears, and the hiding and striving we fall to as a result.
Beauty Flows from a Heart at Rest

*      Janet is twenty-one. … Small and petite with a fabulous figure.  … And yet …when you’re with her, your heart does not rest.  Her beauty impresses, but it does not invite.  The reason is simple: She is striving.  She is a perfectionist.  Her beauty feels tenuous, shaky.  It is not flowing from her heart.  It’s almost as if it’s forced, from the outside, through discipline and fear.
*      (pg 133)  June is one of the most beautiful women we have ever met.  …  Her eyes sparkled when she laughed, which she did often, and her smile lit up the room…June was at rest with herself, at home in who she was. … Her spacious, beautiful soul invited others to come, to be, to taste and see that the Lord is good, whatever was happening in your life…  And June was about seventy-five years old.
*      What is the difference between these two women?  Rest.  June’s beauty flows from a heart at rest.
*      You see, beauty indwells every woman….
*      Usually it comes when she doesn’t know it, when she isn’t trying to make it come.  Rather, something is happening that allows her defenses to come down for a moment.  For instance, when someone is listening.  She knows that she matters.  Someone cares about her heart, wants to know her.  Her beauty emerges as if from behind a veil.
*      So the choice a woman makes is not to conjure beauty, but to let her defenses down.  To choose to set aside her normal means of survival and just let her heart show up.  Beauty comes with it.
*      (pg 134)  First, Peter is not saying that we shouldn’t enjoy wearing pretty things. What he’s trying to say is that true beauty comes from the inner part of us.  Our hearts.  A heart at rest.
*      In fact, instead of making me into someone else, he is making me more me.  And that is one of the beautiful things about him. That the more his we become, the more ourselves we become; more our true selves.
*      To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts in God, a spirit that has been quieted by his love and filled with his peace.  Not a heart that is striving and restless.
*      A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. 
*      (pg 135)  She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in him, she is enough.  In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving.
*      A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest, trusting God because she has come to know him to be worthy of her trust.
*      She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well.
*      A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become.  In her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts.  We can also breathe in the truth that God loves us and he is good.
*      This is why we must keep asking.  Ask Jesus to show you your beauty.  Ask him what he thinks of you as a woman.  His words to us let us rest and unveil our beauty.
Beauty is Inviting
*      (pg 136)  Beauty beckons us.  Beauty invites us.  Come, explore, immerse yourself.  God – Beauty himself – invites us to know him.  “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Ps 34:8). 
*      He delights in alluring us and in revealing himself to those who wholeheartedly seek him. 
*      He wants to be known, to be explored.   
*      A woman does too.  She fears it, but below the fear is a longing to be known, to be seen as beautiful and enjoyed.  So the unveiled beauty of a woman entices and invites. 
*      The heart of the woman determines what it is she is inviting others to – to life or to death.
*      A woman who is striving invites others to strive.  The message – sometimes implicit in her actions, sometimes explicit through her words – is, “Get your act together.  Life is uncertain.  There is not time for your heart here.  Shape up.  Get busy.  That’s what is important.”
*      By contrast a woman whose heart is at rest invites others to rest.
*      We are invited to be ourselves.
*      (pg 137)  A woman who is hiding invites others to do the same.  “Don’t be vulnerable.  Hide yourself.”
*      A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same.
*      She says to the world, through her invitation to relationship, You are wanted here. We want to know you. Come in. Share yourself. Be enjoyed. Enjoy me as I share myself.
*      A woman who is controlling cannot invite others to rest, to be known.  They will feel controlled in her presence.  It won’t feel safe there.
*      A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life.  She risks being vulnerable: exposing her true heart and inviting others to share theirs.  She is not demanding, but she is hopeful.
*      You see, ultimately, a woman invites us to know God.  To experience through her that God is merciful.  That he is tender and kind.  That God longs for us – to be known by us and to know us.  She invites us to experience that God is good, deep, lovely, alluring.  Captivating.
*      We know many of you are feeling, But I’m not there.  I’m not that kind of woman.  Here is where we “work out” our salvation as God works in us (Phil 2:12-13). 
*      (pg 138)  As you begin to live like this, you discover the places in your heart that still need the healing touch of Jesus.  That’s how it goes.  We don’t get to stay in hiding until we are whole; Jesus invites us to live as an inviting woman now, and find our healing along the way.
Offering Beauty
*      For a woman to unveil her beauty means she is offering her heart.  Not primarily her works or her usefulness (think Martha in the kitchen).  Offering her presence.
*      The gift of presence is a rare and beautiful gift.  To come – unguarded, undistracted – and be fully present, fully engaged with whoever we are with at that moment. 
*      When we offer our unguarded presence, we live like Jesus.  And we invite others to do the same.
*      (pg 139)  Beauty offers mercy.
*      A woman who is full of tender mercy and soft vulnerability is a powerful, lovely woman.
*      Beauty isn’t demanding.  Instead, it speaks from desire.
*      To offer your heart is to offer your desire – instead of your demand. 
*      Beauty offers desire.
Of Course it Feels Risky
*      (pg 140)  The scariest thing for a man is to offer his strength in situations where he doesn’t know if it will make any difference.  Or worse, that he will fail. 
*      Remember, a man’s deepest Question is, Do I have what it takes? Failure says, No.
*      A man’s basic sin is his choice to offer strength only in those situations where he knows things will go well. 
*      In the same way, the scariest thing for women is to offer our beauty into situations where we don’t know if it will make any difference.  Or worse, that we will be rejected.  For our Question is, Am I lovely?
*      (pg 141)  A woman doesn’t want to offer her beauty unless she is guaranteed that it will be well received.  But life offers no such guarantees.  We, too, must take risks.
*      Have you asked yourself how much you are motivated by fear? 
*      He loves it when we, gripped with doubt and fear that he will not be enough, turn the gaze of our souls to him in hope.  He loves to prove himself faithful and more than enough to satisfy our hungry souls. 
*      We can’t wait until we feel safe to love and invite.  In fact, if you feel a little scared, then you’re probably on the right path. 
*      Of course it’s scary.  It’s vulnerable.  It’s naked.  God calls us to stop hiding, to stop dominating, to trust him, and to offer our true selves. 
*      He will give no guarantee that others will enjoy us and respond well.
*      (pg 142)  In fact, we can be sure that there will be times when they do not.
*      In those moments or seasons when that happens to us, God’s invitation is to bring our sorrow to him.  Not to shut down with, I’ll never try that again.  But to keep our hearts open and alive, and find refuge and healing in his love.
Letting Our Hearts be Deepened
*      As we increasingly become women of substance, women who offer true beauty, we find that our hearts grow in their capacity to love and be loved, to desire, to live. 
*      (pg 143)  Our hearts are enlarged by Jesus.
*      We do not always get what we want, but that doesn’t mean that we no longer want.  It means we stay awake to the unmet longing and ache.  Wait there.  Invite Jesus to come, there.
*      To possess true beauty we must be willing to suffer.
*      Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering.
*      By paying the high price of loving truly and honestly without demanding that they be loved in return.  And by refusing to numb their pain in the myriad of ways available.  They have come to know that when everyone and everything has left them, God is there.
*      Living in true beauty can require much waiting, much time, much tenacity of spirit. 
*      We must constantly direct our gazes toward the face of God, even in the presence of longing and sorrow.  It is in the waiting that our hearts are enlarged.  The waiting does not diminish us.
*      God does not always rescue us out of a painful season.  You know that he does not always give to us what we so desperately want when we want it.
*      (pg 144)  But the experience of sorrow in no way diminishes the joy of living.  Rather, it enhances it.
Cultivating Beauty
*      Every woman possesses a captivating beauty.  Every woman. 
*      But for most of us it has been long buried, wounded, and captive.  It takes time for it to emerge into wholeness.  It needs to be cultivated, restored, set free.
*      How do we cultivate beauty?  How do we become ever more beautiful?  By tending to our hearts with great care, as a master gardener tends to her work.
*      (pg 145) Yes, life is harsh on a woman’s heart.  It has been hard on your heart.  The assault on our beauty is real. But Jesus is urging us now to care for ourselves, watch over our hearts (Pr. 4:23).
*      The world needs your beauty.  That is why you are here.  Your heart and your beauty are something to be treasured and nourished.  And it takes time.
*      Our hearts need to feed on beauty to sustain them.  We need times of solitude and silence.  We need times of refreshment and laughter and rest.  We need to listen to the voice of God in our hearts as he tells us what we need.
*      Often, Jesus will call us away to spend precious time alone with him. 
*      The Holy Spirit is our guide, our counselor, our comforter, our Great Friend, and he will lead us.  Abiding in Christ means paying attention to the voice of God within, nourishing our own hearts and nourishing our relationship with him.  Over time.
*      Contrary to what the world claims, Beauty does not diminish with time; Beauty deepens and increases.
*      (pg 146) Beauty such as hers is rare because it is a rare woman who chooses to keep her heart alive in this dangerous world.  Without striving.  Her heart was very much alive.  Present.  Open.  Alluring.  She had lived years in the presence of God, with the gaze of her heart fixed on him.
*      When a woman knows that she is loved and loved deeply, she glows from the inside.  This radiance stems from a heart that has had its deepest questions answered.  “Am I lovely?  Am I worth fighting for?  Have I been and will I continue to be romanced?”  When these questions are answered, Yes, a restful, quiet spirit settles in a woman’s heart.
*      Beauty is a quality of the soul that expresses itself in the visible world.  You can see it.  You can touch it.  You are drawn to it.  Beauty illuminates.
*      Beauty flows from a heart that is alive.
*      We are romanced. We are loved.  When we are at rest in that knowledge, we can offer our hearts to others and invite them to Life.
Faith, Hope, and Love
*      (pg 147) Unveiling our beauty really just means unveiling our feminine hearts.
*      It’s scary, for sure.  That is why it is our greatest expression of faith, because we are going to have to trust Jesus – really trust him. 
*      We’ll have to trust him that we have a beauty, that what he has said of us is true.  And we’ll have to trust him with how it goes when we offer it, because that is out of our control.  We’ll have to trust him when it hurts, and we’ll have to trust him when we are finally seen and enjoyed.  That’s why unveiling our beauty is how we live by faith.
*      Unveiling our beauty is our greatest expression of hope.  We hope that it will matter, that our beauty really does make a difference.  We hope there is a greater and higher Beauty, hope we are reflecting that Beauty, and hope it will triumph.  Our hope is that all is well because of Jesus and that all will be well because of him.  So we unveil beauty in hope.  And finally, we unveil beauty in the hope that Jesus is growing our beauty.
*      To offer beauty now is an expression of hope that it will be completed.
*      And unveiling beauty is our greatest expression of love, because it is what the world most needs from us.  When we choose not to hide, when we choose to offer our hearts, we are choosing to love.  Jesus offers; he invites; he is present.  That is how he loves.  That is how we love – sincerely, as the Scripture says, “from the heart” (1Pet. 1:22).  Our focus shifts from self-protection to the hearts of others.
*      We offer Beauty so that their hearts might come alive, be healed, know God.  That is love.
~~~
How about you?
What kind of woman are you?
Do others experience the mercy of our loving God through you?
 (page 137)

Disclaimer:  I have not been compensated for anything in this post.

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-8/feed/ 0 Book Break – Captivating #9 https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-9/ https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-9/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:41 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=148 As I’ve stated before, my hope is you will be curious and intrigued to the point of checking this book...

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]]> As I’ve stated before, my hope is you will be curious and intrigued to the point of checking this book out (in its entirety) for yourself.   {Please note: these are all direct quotes from the book, Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.}

~~~
Captivating
Chapter 9 ~ Arousing Adam
*      (pg 149) True femininity arouses true masculinity.
*      Think about it – all those heroes in all those tales play the hero because there is a woman in his life, a true Beauty who is his inspiration.  It’s that simple and that profound.
*      True femininity calls forth true masculinity.  We awaken it, arouse it in a way that nothing else on earth even comes close to.
Adam’s Wound
*      If you watch little boys for any length of time, you’ll see how deeply the Hero is written on their hearts.
*      When they become teenagers, young boys take on an air of independence and bravado that can really drive moms nuts.  It looks arrogant and defiant, but it is their masculine strength emerging in an awkward stage.
*      A man’s deepest wounds come from the way Question was answered in his youth.  Just like yours. Every man is wounded.
*      (pg 150)  In the case of violent fathers, the wound is given directly.
*      Passive fathers also wound, often leaving the boy’s Question unanswered.  His silence leaves a vacuum for fear and doubt to fill. 
*      I was afraid that in fact I was just a boy in a man’s world, and I kept overachieving to prove I was a man.
*      Adam’s sin and Adam’s woundedness come together to result in the passivity or the drivenness you find in so many men.
*      You won’t begin to understand a man until you understand his Question, his wound and how Adam also fell.
*      His search for validation is the driving force of his life.  Just like yours.
Standing in Love’s Way
*      (pg 151)  In Wild at Heart I warned men that the greatest obstacle to loving a woman was this: too many men take their Question to Eve.  They look to her for the validation of their souls.
*      It happens usually around adolescence, this fatal shift.  The father has been silent or violent; his chance to redeem his son is nearly gone. 
*      It’s a fatal shift.  So much of the pornography addiction for men comes from this.  It’s not about sex – it’s about validation.
*      If he hasn’t found that deep validation he needs from God, he’s a sitting duck.
*      Masculinity is bestowed by masculinity.  It cannot come from any other source. 
*      Yes – a woman can offer a man so much.  She can be his ezer, his companion, his inspiration.  But she cannot be the validation of his soul. 
*      As men, we have got to take our Question to God, to our Father in heaven.  Only he knows who we truly are.
*      A man goes to Eve to offer his strength.  He does not go to her to get it.
*      Now, the same holds true for you, Eve.  You cannot take your Question to Adam.  You cannot look to him for the validation of your soul.
*      But so many women do.  If I have a man, then I’m okay.  Then I’m loved.  It happens around adolescence for woman too.  The time for her father to speak into her life begins to wane.
*      (pg 152)  A new window opens up – boys.  And if her father has not been there for her, she is starving for love, and she’ll give herself to boys in the hope of finding it.
*      The shift, at its root, is simply this: they have taken their Question to Adam.  It is a deadly shift.
*      Eve was made for Adam…There is an incompleteness that haunts us, makes us yearn for one another.
*      No man can tell you who you are as a woman.  No man is the verdict on your soul.
*      The ache is real.  But the verdict is false.  Only God can tell you who you are.  Only God can speak the answer you need to hear.  That is why we spoke of the Romance with him first.  It comes first. It must. It has to.  
*      Now, yes, in a loving relationship, we are meant to speak to one another’s wounds.  In love we can bring such deep joy and healing as we offer to one another our strength and beauty.
*      (pg 153)  We can – and should – offer this to one another.  This is one way love helps to heal our mate’s wounds.
*      But our core validation, our primary validation has to come from God.  And until it does, until we look to him for the healing of our souls, our relationships are really hurt by this looking-to-each-other for something only God can give.
*      Complicating matters further is the curse upon Eve…There is an ache in Eve now that she tries to get Adam to fill.  There is an emptiness given to her to drive her back to God, but she takes it to Adam instead.
*      No matter how much Adam pours into your aching soul, it’s never enough.  He cannot fill you. 
*      Every woman has to reckon with this – this ache she tries to get her man to fill.  In order to learn how to love him, you must first stop insisting that he fills you.
*      We cannot love Adam while we are looking to him to validate us.
*      If he’s the verdict on us as a woman, we won’t be able to truly and freely offer him our beauty.  We’ll hold it back in fear.  Or, we’ll give ourselves over to him in inappropriate ways, in a sort of sexual or emotional promiscuity, desperate for his attention. 
*      And we won’t be able to confront him and stand up to him when he needs that from us as well.
How Does a Woman Love a Man?
*      (pg 154)  “How does a woman best love a man?”  The answer is simple: seduce him.
*      She allures her man.  She hopes to arouse him and invite him to come to her and enter her.  In an act of stunning vulnerability she takes life’s greatest risk – offering her unveiled beauty to him, opening herself up to him in every way.
*      That is how we make love.  Femininity is what arouses his masculinity.  His strength is what makes a woman yearn to be beautiful.
*      It’s that simple, that beautiful, that mysterious, and incredibly profound.
*      The beauty of a woman is what arouses the strength of a man.  He wantsto play the man when a woman acts like that.  You can’t hold him back.  He wants to come through.  And this desire is crucial.  Don’t you want him to want to come through for you?  Not to be forced to, not because he “ought to”.  But because he wants to come through. 
*      (pg 155)  A woman wants to feel beautiful.  The strength of a good man makes her feel so.  A man wants to feel strong.  The beauty of a good woman makes him feel so.  This principle plays out far beyond sex and marriage.
The Holy, Scandalous Women of the Bible
*      There are five women mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus.  Now, that might not strike you as a big deal, until you understand that women are never mentioned in those genealogies.  It’s always men.
*      These women are so important to God that he has the writer break all cultural norms and even open himself to criticism and dismissal in order to make a point: “Look here – these are really good women.”
*      What distinguishes these women?  Different situations, different acts of obedience.  Yet the common theme is this: Courage, Cunning, and Stunning Vulnerability.
*      (pg 156)  Mary is an amazing young woman. Maybe fifteen or so. She accepts the mission God brings to her even though it will cost her dearly.
*      She is virtuous, but her choice will be seen by others as scandalous all her life.  She makes herself vulnerable – staggeringly vulnerable (she could be stoned for this; certainly she will be abandoned and ostracized) – in order to follow God.
*      Tamar’s story is difficult and beautiful, one we haven’t time for her. But one worth wrestling with.  (Genesis 38)
*      She uses cunning in the face of men who are failing her badly in order to expose their sin and invite (not demand) them to come through.
*      Rahab is another scandalous story.  She’s the woman who committed treason in order to walk with God and save her family.
*      And there is Ruth.  This is how I explained her story in Wild at Heart:
–She seduces him.
–(pg 157)  Ruth takes a bubble bath and puts on a knockout dress; then she waits for the right moment.
–That moment happens to be late in the evening after Boaz has had a little too much to drink.
–The man is drunk, which is evident from what he does next: pass out.
–What happens next is simply scandalous; the verse continues, “Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down.” 
–There is no possible reading of this passage that is “safe” or “nice”.  This is seduction pure and simple – and God holds it up for all women to follow when He not only gives Ruth her own book in the Bible but also names her in the genealogy.
–I’m telling you that the church has really crippled women when it tells them that their beauty is vain, and they are at their feminine best when they are “serving others.”  A woman is at her best when she is being a woman.
*      (pg 158)  The principle of the story is what matters here.  Ruth takes a risk – a risk every woman knows – when she makes herself vulnerable and alluring to Boaz.  She arouses him to play the man.  She awakens his desire to be the Hero.  That’s the point.
Emasculating Women
*      Women pretty much fall into one of three categories:  Dominating Women, Desolate Women, or Arousing Women.
*      {emasculating woman} She needs nothing from her man.  She has life under control.  She wears the pants in the family.  Her message is clear:  “You are weak and untrustworthy.  I am strong.  Let me lead and things will go fine.”  The effect on a man is not good. 
*      When a woman becomes controlling and not in the least vulnerable, her seductiveness is shut down.  The message is, “Back off – I’ll handle this.”
*      (pg 159)  Softness is key to a woman.  Not weakness – softness.  Tenderness.
*      Emasculating women send a clear message:  “I don’t need you.  I refuse to be vulnerable and inviting.  You have nothing to offer me.”
Desolate Women
*      She is not harsh – just shut down from years of living with a selfish, domineering pig of a man.  She looks like a whipped puppy, rushing to please him in any way, not out of love but out of fear and some weird idea of submission.  She is depressed.
*      The typical Church Lady.  She’s actually quite beautiful, but she dresses in such a way as to hide it. Bag-shaped dresses, hair in a bun.  Her heart is also shut down.  She hides behind her prayers and her “good works of service.”  She is weary and tired.
*      Desolate women don’t seem at first pass to be all that emasculating.  They don’t attack or dominate.  But neither do they allure. 
*      (pg 160)  Their message is simply, “There’s nothing here for you.”  The lights are off; they have dimmed their radiance; no one is home.
*      A man in her presence feels…uninvited.  Unwanted.  It’s a form of rejection, emasculation to be sure.  But it’s harder to point out because it’s so subtle.
*      Desolate women can also be those whose ache is what definesthem.  Women who will do whatever it takes to get a man.
*      She’s available – but in a clingy, desperate way.
*      Their message to men is, “I need you too much.  Please tell me who I am. Fill me.”  Men use women like this – but they do not love them.  They do not feel challenged to be a Hero.  Desolate women do not call the men in their lives to be Heroes.
Arousing Women
*      (back up to pg 158 under Emasculating Women)  The third is a woman whose femininity is being restored by God and who offers it to others.
*      (pg 160)  {Caroline in Enchanted April}softens, becomes tender and vulnerable.  She no longer resents her beauty, but offers it gently, almost shyly, which for her is repentance.
*      Lottie and Rose {from Enchanted April} gain a sense of self.  They become substantive, able to offer their men a real mate, not a doormat.  They, too, become alluring; being less shy is repentance for them – no longer hiding but coming forward in a gentle way.
*      What severity and domineering and hiding and whining could not do, beauty does.  Their men come forth as good men, repentant men.  Heroes.
*      (pg 161)  An arousing woman is one who calls forth the best in a man by offering who she is as a woman – someone who offers her beauty, her true heart, as we described in the last chapter.
*       A strong and self-confident woman, she is also soft and inviting.  Her message to him is, “You are an amazing man.”
*      However it is expressed in the uniqueness of your own femininity, arousing Adam comes down to this: Need him.  And believe in him.
*      That is what a man needs to hear from his woman more than anything else.  I need you.  I need your strength.  I believe in you.  You have what it takes.
Loving Fallen Men
*      Granted, not every man is on the road to redemption.  There are men out there who are not safe and good men.
*      How do you love them?  With great wisdom and cunning.
*      Jesus said, “Do not throw your pearls to pigs,” (Matt 7:6)… He was saying, “Look – be careful that you do not give something precious to someone who, at best, cannot recognize its beauty, or at worst, will trample on it.”
*      Consider you feminine heart and beauty your treasure, your pearls.
*      A woman can test and see if a man is willing to move in a good direction be offering a taste of what is available with her if he does.  She does not give everything in a moment. 
*      (pg 162) As God does, she allures and waits to see what he will do.
*      (pg 163)  How generous and lavish God is with his beauty toward us.
*      “You will…find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jer. 29:13).  That is a good way for a woman to live as well.  Not defiant, not hiding, but alluring and watching to see if he wants to come closer.
Single Women
*      They {Mary, Rahab, Ruth, and Tamar} also stand in stark contrast to some of the messages of “purity” given single women today. 
*      As one young woman wrote to us, “I am afraid that I and numerous other women have interpreted womanly purity as ‘completely ignore the man you are interested in until he proposes to you.’”  And why, then, would he propose to you?
*      Of course a woman should be alluring to the man she is attracted to.  A smile, a tenderness, an interest in him and his life are natural and welcome. 
*      (pg 164)  To look your best; awaken him to your presence.  Yes, you can offer beauty to him – in gently increasing amounts a he pursues and comes closer.  And yes, there are parts of you that should be held as mysteries until he fully commits, and you offer yourself to him on your wedding night.
*      Don’t offer everything, but don’t offer nothing.
*      How much, and when?
*      Walk with God.  Be a wise and discerning woman.  Be aware of the issues that could cause you to hold back or give too much.  Be aware of the issues in him that could cause him to look to you for his validation or become paralyzed.  Invite, arouse, and maintain your personal integrity.
*      Be careful you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit.  Look at his track record with other women.
*      A lot of questions, but your heart is a treasure and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and ready to handle it well.
Good Men that Do Not Belong to You
*      (pg 165)  The way femininity can awaken masculine strength – and the way a good man’s strength allows a woman to be beautiful – these can be offered in all sorts of holy ways between men and women who are not married to one another.
*      Far too long we have lived in a culture of fear in the Church, fearing that any relationship between men and women will end in an affair.  Sadly, we have forsaken so many opportunities to call one another forth with the grace of our genders.
*      His strong, kind presence awakens their beauty.  In some sense it is God saying to them, “This is available –not here, in John – but this kind of man is available.  Doesn’t that awaken your heart as a woman?”
*      (pg 166)  As a man comes alive, the women in his world will experience and enjoy his strength, the power of his masculine presence.
*      As a woman comes alive, the men in her world will experience and enjoy her beauty, the richness of her feminine presence.
*      Yes – this exchange of strength and beauty will be a test of character.  When something is awakened in us by another man or woman, we do have a choice in that moment.  We choose to accept the awakening as an invitation to go find that with ourman or woman.  Or to pray, if we are single, that this sort of man or woman will come to us from God’s hand.
*      Remember our answer to the question “How do I love a man?”  Seduce him.  The sexual connotation of “seduce” may have some of you struggling still with all those situations in which sexual intimacy is not appropriate.  We mean it as a principle, a picture of how femininity can arouse masculinity in many, many ways.
*      Perhaps you have heard the old story, attributed to Aesop, about the argument between the North Wind and the Sun.  It might help you get past your concern.
The North Wind and the Sun had an argument one day.  They disputed which of them was the stronger.  A traveler came along the road at that time, and the Sun suggested a way to resolve the argument.  Whoever was able to cause the traveler to remove his coat would be the stronger.  The Wind accepted the challenge and the Sun hid himself behind a cloud.  The Wind began to blow.  (pg 167) Yet the harder he blew, the more the traveler clutched his coat about himself.  The Wind sent rain, even hail.  The traveler clung even more desperately to his coat.  Finally, in despair, the Wind gave up.  The Sun came out and began to shine in all his glory upon the traveler.  Quite soon the man had removed his coat.  “How did you do that?” asked the Wind.  “It was easy,” said the Sun, “I lit the day.  Through gentleness I got my way.” (“The North Wind and the Sun”)
~~~
How about you?
Does this help you see yourself, and help understand why you do what you do?
How about understanding the men around you, can you see how their actions are demonstrative of the questions addressed in this chapter?
Disclaimer:  I have not been compensated for anything in this post.

 

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-9/feed/ 0 Book Break – Captivating #10 https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-10/ https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-10/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:41 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=151 Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let’s get ready to be encouraged.As I’ve stated before, my hope is you...

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]]> Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let’s get ready to be encouraged.As I’ve stated before, my hope is you will be curious and intrigued to the point of checking this book out (in its entirety) for yourself.   {Please note: these are all direct quotes from the book, Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.}

~~~
Captivating
Chapter 10 ~ Mothers, Daughters, Sisters
*      (pg 168) Mother is the source of life.  Mother is powerful.  Mother is strong.  Mother can nurture, and mother can destroy.
*      Whether good or bad, whether redemptive or destructive, our relationships with our mothers affected us to the core of our beings, helping to shape us into the women we have become.
*      (pg 169) We are not all mothers, but we all had one.  Or longed for one.
*      The desire in a daughter to please her mother is matched only by her desire to be separate from her.
*      Mothers rightly teach their daughters how to behave and what to believe.
*      A mother hopes that her daughter’s coming into her own is a passage to celebrate.  But often it takes years for a mother and daughter to reconcile their differences – let alone enjoy them.
*      (pg 170)  Girls’ hearts flourish in homes where they are seen and invited to become ever more themselves.  Parents who enjoy their daughters are giving them and the world a great gift.
*      Mothers in particular have the opportunity to offer encouragement to their daughters by inviting them into their feminine world and by treasuring their daughters’ unique beauty.
A Long Road Home
*      (pg 172)  All mothers fail their children to varying degrees.   But she also loved me.  That was what was most true.
*      (pg 173)  I don’t know exactly when a softening began to occur between my mother and me, but slowly we became more graceful with each other.  I do know that it began after I had looked honestly at my childhood and grieved deeply the wounds my parents had dealt me, inflicted by action as well as inaction. 
*      I had looked squarely at my youth.  I’d been angry.  I’d been sorrowful.  And after a season, I was able to forgive.  I began to see my mother with new eyes…  I began to understand that in those years she had been treading water with all that she had just to stay afloat.
Our Last Year Together
*      (pg 173)  I still felt like a failure to her, a deep disappointment.  Her words continues to pierce.  It was then that God showed me that the way my mother made me feel was exactly the way I made her feel.  A disappointment.  An embarrassment.  A failure.
*      (pg 174)  She wanted me to like her, know her, and enjoy her just as much as I wanted her to feel that way about me.  And I had withheld my acceptance from her.  I realized for the first time how deeply I had wounded her.
The Cost
*      (pg 175)  It is one thing to suffer.  It is something far worse to walk alongside one you love who is suffering intensely and be unable to do anything about it.
*      I have heard it said that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside of your body.  How a mother aches to protect her child. And yet all the while, from infancy to adulthood, a good mother is training her child to move ever more away from her, to need her less and less.
*      (pg 176)  A mother’s heart is a vast and glorious thing. 
*      My mother’s heart was expansive, having been enlarged by suffering and years of clinging to Jesus while being misunderstood, dismissed, and judged by those she loved most.
*      I tell you this story because I want you to know that redemption is possible.  Healing is possible.  Ask Jesus to bring it to your and yours.
*      Then, if you can, go call your mother.  Tell her you love her.
To Mother
*      All women are not mothers, but all women are called to mother.
*      (pg 177)  To mother is to nurture, to train, to educate, to rear.  As daughters of Eve, all women are uniquely gifted to help others in their lives become more of who they truly are – to encourage, nurture, and mother them toward their true selves.  In doing this, women partner with Christ in the vital mission of bringing forth life.
*      “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6 NKJV)  This verse is not a promise about faith.  It is not speaking of training a child to follow Christ or promising that if you do, the grown child will continue to follow him.
*      The proverb is about raising a child to know who he is and to guide him in becoming ever more himself.  In the way he should go.  Not in the way you would like him to go in order to validate you as a mother and a woman.
*      It speaks of teaching a child to live from his heart, attuned to it, awake to it, aware of it, and when that child is grown he will continue to life a life from the heart.  It is about seeing who a person really is and calling him out to be that person.
*      The nurturing of life is a high and holy calling.  And as a woman, it is yours.
*      Yes, men are called to this as well.  But uniquely and deeply, this calling makes up part of the very fiber of a woman’s soul – the calling to mother.
*      (pg 179)  All women are called to mother.  And all women are called to give birth. 
*      Women give birth to ideas, to creative expressions, to ministries.
*      We birth life in others by inviting them into deeper realms of healing, to deeper walks with God, to deeper intimacy with Jesus.
*      All women are made in the image of God in that we bring forth life.  When we enter into our world and into the lives of those we love and offer our tender and strong feminine hearts, we cannot but help mother them.
My Sister, My Friend
*      The gift of friendship among women is a treasure not to be taken lightly. 
*      (pg 180)  Women friends become the face of God to one another – the face of grace, of delight, of mercy.
*      A woman must have women friends.
*      To have a woman friend is to relax into another soul and be welcomed in all that you are and all that you are not.
*      (pg 181)  Friendship is a great gift.  One to be prayed for and not taken for granted.  If you do not have the kind of friendship you long for, ask God to bring it into your life, to give you eyes to recognize it when he does.
*      When God gives a friend, he is entrusting us with the care of another’s heart.  It is a chance to mother and to sister, to be a Life giver, to help someone else become the woman she was created to be, to walk alongside her and call her deep heart forth.
*      Friendships need to be nurtured and guarded and fought for.
*      We love our friends by pursuing them – calls, little presents, cards, invitations to play, to go for a walk, to go to a movie.  We offer our hearts.
*      We need to pay attention to each other, really seeone another.  That truly is the greatest gift.
Awkward Love
*      And let me say clearly, true friendship is opposed.
*      One woman often feels less important to the other, or accused or needy or misunderstood.  Honest communication in love is the only way to live and grow in friendships.
*      There are ebbs and flows.  There may be too much dependence.  There may be real hurt and disappointment.  In fact, it’s inevitable in our broken world.
*      (pg 182)  But with the grace of God firmly holding us, reminding us that he is the source of our true happiness, it is possible to nurture and sustain deep friendships throughout our lives.
*      We need each other.  God knows that.  He will help us.  We have only to ask and surrender, to wait, to hope, and in faith to love.  We must also repent.
*      For a woman to enjoy relationship, she must repent of her need to control and her insistence that people fill her.
*      Fallen Eve demands that people “come through” for her.
*      Redeemed Eve is being met in the depths of her soul by Christ and is free to offer to others, free to desire, and willing to be disappointed.
*      Fallen Eve has been wounded by others and withdraws in order to protect herself from further harm
*      Redeemed Eve knows that she has something of value to offer; that she is made for relationship.  Therefore, being safe and secure in her relationship with her Lord, she can risk being vulnerable with others and offer her true self. But it is not the truest thing.
*      In your friendships, in all your relationships, you will disappoint others and they will disappoint you.  That comes with the territory of being human.
*      (pg 183)  Perhaps it would be good to say just a few words about circles of intimacy.  Jesus had the Twelve, but he also had the three.
*      Jesus understands well that friends disappoint…yet he continues to love. You can only have one, two, maybe three intimate friends in your life at any given time.  That’s just the way of the heart.
*      There is room for more dear friends, but they are a little further out, in the next circle, like Jesus’ Twelve.
*      And then there are your acquaintances, loose friendships, as Jesus had in the other disciples.  It is natural and good to have circles of friendship.  Friends will move from one circle to the other, but you can’t possibly sustain intimacy with everyone.
*      God invites us to risk trusting him and enter into redemptive friendships with others – to open ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt as well as to the possibility of tasting the sweet fruit of companionship. 
*      Eve possesses a bottomless well of longing.  Jesus alone is the never-ending fount, which can slake her thirst.  No other source, no other relationship will fully satisfy.  God made us that way.  On purpose.
~~~
How about you?
Do you have your closest group of friends?  
Or, do you need to pray for God to bring you a dear friend?
If you are praying for a friend, let me know.  I will join you in prayer.  
I have three very dear sister-friends.  
Sister-friends I pray for regularly; sister-friends whom I love dearly.
I do not ever want to take them for granted.  
God will bring you that dear sweet sister-friend; He created us to need that relationship.

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-10/feed/ 0 Book Break – Captivating #11 https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-11/ https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-11/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:41 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=154 Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let’s get ready to be encouraged. As I’ve stated before, my hope is...

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]]>

Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let’s get ready to be encouraged.
As I’ve stated before, my hope is you will be curious and intrigued to the point of checking this book out (in its entirety) for yourself.   {Please note: these are all direct quotes from the book, Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.}
~~~
Captivating
Chapter 11 ~ Warrior Princesses
*      (pg 186) Women are often portrayed in stories and tales as the “Damsel in Distress.”
*      We do long to be fought for; loved enough to be courageously protected.  But there is a mighty fierceness set in the hearts of women by God.
*      This fierceness is true to who we are and what we are created to do.
*      (pg 188) Redeemed women of God have tender, merciful hearts, backbones of steel, and hands that have been trained for battle.
*      There is something incredibly fierce in the heart of a woman that is to be contended with – not dismissed, not disdained, but recognized, honored, welcomed, and trained.
Fighting Back
*      (pg 189)  It’s amazing what we will live with because we think it’s normal when it is not.
Emotional Attacks
*      (pg 190)  I was filled with self-doubt, anger, shame, and a deep sense of worthlessness.  I loved my husband.  I loved my sons.  But I was keenly aware that I was not able to love them well.  I wanted to be happy.  But I was not.  I was disconnected from my heart and from my God.
*      I had no clue why I felt the way I did, other than believing that there was something deeply wrong with me and there always would be.
*      (pg 191) She walked with me, with God, into the dungeons of my heart and helped me to see that Christ had destroyed the iron gates.
*      I couldn’t think clearly.  I didn’t have the energy or the hope to go further.  It was then that she suggested I begin taking antidepressants.
*      (pg 192) So I started taking the medicine.  Within a couple of weeks, I no longer felt the weight over my soul that I had lived with the majority of my life.  I wondered, Is this what other people feel like all the time? Sheesh! I could now move forward with God into deeper realms of my heart.
*      Antidepressants are stigmatized in the church.
*      But we don’t shame diabetics who need to take insulin.  Why do we shame people with a chemical imbalance who need to take something to help them?
*      By seeking healing through counseling, God was addressing my soul.  God’s provision of the help of antidepressants was a tremendous help to my body.
*      Demons smell human brokenness like sharks smell blood in the water, and they move in to take advantage of the weakened soul.
*      (pg 193) I needed to address all three aspects – my body, soul, and spirit – in order to come more fully into healing.  Far too many women will focus only on one or two aspects and not engage in the spiritual warfare that is swirling around us.
Relational Attacks
*      Another common enemy that often is at work in women’s relationships is a spirit of accusation.
*      In our friendships, in our relationships with peers at work, and especially in our marriages, we often feel that we are a disappointment to others, that they disapprove of us.
*      We feel in their presence that we are not enough, or that we are too much.  After we leave a time with them, we’re plagues by a deep sense of failing.  We feel frustrated and irritated and ashamed that we feel that way.
*      Our hearts often land in shame and isolation, or we go to resentment … and isolation.
*      (pg 194) Well, a spirit of accusation was operating in our marriage for the first ten years of our married life.  I felt John’s disapproval over how I spent my time, my relationship with God, even how I chopped vegetables.  I felt as though everything I did disappointed him somehow.  I could not live up to his (unspoken) desires.  It’s hard to offer your heart and love to a person when you feel that way.  Our tendency is to withdraw in shame or anger.
*      He often felt, he said, that I was disappointed in him, that he couldn’t do anything right, that I disapproved of how he lived and who he was.  What?!  This was unbelievable to me.  I felt nothing of the sort toward him.  I wanted to be more like him.  I told him that I didn’t feel that way toward him, but I certainly felt that from him – felt that I was a deep disappointment to him.  He told me that was utterly untrue.  He felt nothing of the sort.
A Warring Bride
*      (pg 195) Ladies, you are the Bride of Christ …and the Bride of Christ is a warring bride.
*      Now, often the hardest person to fight for is …yourself.  But you must.  Your heart is needed. 
*      You must be present and engaged in order to love well and fight on behalf of others.
*      Without you, much will be lost.  It is time to take a stand and to stand firm.  We are at war.  You are needed.
*      One day we will be queens – we will rule with Jesus (Rev. 21).
*      He uses spiritual warfare in our lives to strengthen our faith, to draw us closer to him, to train us for the roles we are meant to play, to encourage us to play those roles, and to prepare us for our future at his side.
*      It is not that we are abandoned.  Christ has not abandoned us.
*      It is not that we are alone.  He will never leave us or forsake us.
*      It is not even up to us.  The battle is the Lord’s.
*      Jesus came through for us before we were even born.  He fought for us before we even knew we needed him.  He came, he died, he rose again for us.
*      (pg 196) He has won the decisive victory against our Enemy.  But we must apply it.  Christianity is not a passive religion.
*      Much of what he allows in your life is not for you to simply accept, but to get you to rise up!
*      Women are not meant to be helpless creatures.  God has given us a fierceness that is holy and is to be used on behalf of others.
Warrior Princesses
*      (pg 197) What does a warrior princess look like? 
*      Women who were wise, cunning, strong, beautiful, courageous, victorious, and very present.
*      (pg 199) Women warriors are strong, yes, and they are also tender.  There is mercy in them.  There is vulnerability.
*      In fact, offering a tender vulnerability can only be done by an incredibly strong woman, a woman rooted in Christ Jesus who knows whose she is and therefore knows who she is.
*      Offering our hearts wisely, living in the freedom of God’s love, inviting others to rest, alluring those in our lives to the heart of God, and responding to the heart of God in worship are some of the most powerful ways that a woman wars for her world.
*      But she also puts on the full armor of God dailyand takes her immovable stand against the powers of darkness.
*      Satan is defeated.
*      Satan and the fallen angels, now demons, have been cast down, but they are not chained.  Not yet.
*      Now, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (I Pet. 5:8) And he does devour.
*      He assaults and maims and steals and kills and destroys wherever he can, and the brunt of his malice falls on God’s image bearers.  On you and me.  On the Beloved.  Satan is a vicious, ruthless bully, and a bully will not back down unless someone stronger stands up to hi and exposes hi for what he is.
*      That is your job for “greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world” (I John 4:4 NASB)
*      God made you a woman.  On purpose.
*      Perhaps it would help you to know that in wearing the armor of God, nothing is diminished – not your beauty, your femininity, or your tender, merciful, mighty heart.
*      Let us say it again.  Your life is a Love Story set in the midst of a life-and-death battle.
*      The beauty, the adventure, the intimacy – they are what are most real.  But it is a battle to gain them and a battle to keep them.  A battle for your own heart and a battle for the hearts around you.
*      “The LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name” (Ex. 15:3)
*      Jesus fights on your behalf and on behalf of those you love.  He asks you to join him.
~~~
How about you?
How about you – do you find it hard to fight for yourself, do you believe your heart is needed? (pg 195)
This has been a hard lesson for me to learn.  I have read this book so many times, yet as I read this book again I am reminded {again} I don’t do this well.  Only by the Grace of God.

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-11/feed/ 0 Book Break – Captivating #12 https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-12/ https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-12/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:41 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/book-break-captivating-12/ Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let’s get ready to be encouraged.   We are finishing this book today....

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]]>


Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let’s get ready to be encouraged.  
We are finishing this book today.
Okay, this is the last chapter in the book Captivating.  As with chapters 1-11, these are all direct quotes from the book.  As I’ve stated before, my hope is you have been (or will be someday) curious and intrigued enough to read this book in its entirety for yourself.  Even though this is chapter 12, I have found when it is fresh in the mind, if I go back and start reading it again immediately the earlier chapters stand out in such a different way and still mean so much. 
For Chapter 12 to be more meaningful for you, we are going to review a term used and described in Chapter 2.  {If you have the time, go back and read that chapter first, for the best understanding of this chapter}  On pages 31 – 33, John and Stasi discuss more completely ezer kenegdo.  This is just one very little quote from page 32, “A better translation therefore of ezer would be ‘lifesaver.’ Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.”  
~~~
Captivating
Chapter 12 ~ An Irreplaceable Role
*      (pg 202) “If there is a real woman – even the trace of one – still there inside the grumbling, it can be brought to life again.  If there’s one wee spark under all those ashes, we’ll blow it till the whole pile is red and clear.”–C.S.Lewis
*      The story of Cinderella turns upon an invitation.
*      No other life seems possible.  This is her fate.  Then, word from the Prince arrives – an invitation to a ball.
*      It is at that point that all hell breaks loose.  Her longings are awakened.  Her enemies become enraged.  And her life is never the same.
*      As a woman, you don’t need to strive or arrange; you don’t need to make it happen.  You only need to respond.
*      (pg 203) She wanted to go. But it took courage not to abandon all hope even aftershe danced with the Prince.
*      But she became the woman she was born to be, and the kingdom was never the same.  It is a beautiful parable.
*      The same holds true for Mary, the mother of Jesus – only it’s far, far more weighty.
*      The angel came as the courier of the King.  But still, she needed to say yes.  He would not force the whole thing upon her.  Her heart needed to be willing.  She would need her heart through all that followed.
*      Mary needed a steadfastness of heart to keep saying “Yes” to God. But she became the woman she was born to be, and the Kingdom was never the same.  It all started with an invitation.

The Power of a Woman’s Life
*      (pg 204)  Women have been essential to every great movement of God.
*      It’s clear that women supported the ministry of Jesus, financially and emotionally, and women were the ones who stayed with him when nearly all the men hightailed it and ran.
*      And of course, the salvation of mankind rested on the courage of a woman, a teenage girl.  What if she had said no? What if any of them had said no?
*      To try and give honor to women in the seep of history is impossible here.
*      (pg 205) It would be easier to think of any of the great or small turning points in God’s rescue of mankind and try to find one where women were notirreplaceable. 
*      History is still unfolding, and your existence on this earth as a woman is proof that you have an irreplaceable role to play.  You are a woman, are you not? An ezer kenegdo to your core.
*      Your lingering disbelief (may it be fading away) that anything important hangs on your life is only evidence of the long assault on your heart by the one who knows who you could be and fears you.
*      Your feminine heart is an invitation by your Creator.
*      Some dream, some desire, something so core to who you are it almost hurts to think of it.  The very longing is such a part of our being it’s scary even to give it a voice.  You may not know the dream itself yet.  But you know the longing to play an irreplaceable part.
Your Irreplaceable Role
*      (pg 206)  Our dear friend Carol has a bright mind and keen intellect.
*      And she just gave up what looked like a golden career move to stay at home full time with her newborn son.
*      There is nothing on earth Carol would rather do – yet it was an incredibly difficult decision to make.  Her family doesn’t understand; she feels she has let them down.
*      She has given up so much of her own life in order to bring life to her little boy.  Learning to mother her child is requiring more of her heart and soul than she thought possible.
*      (pg 207) God called Carol to the high position of mothering, and she is choosing to die a thousand small deaths to her self every single day while at the same time falling ever more in love with her son.
*      Carol chose to say “yes” to God and followed his lead into the hidden life of a stay-at-home mom.
*      And she is playing the most irreplaceable, essential, powerful, life-impacting role imaginable.
*      (pg 209) You see, our true places as women in God’s Story are as diverse and unique as wildflowers in a field.  No two look quite the same.  But we all share certain spheres of influence to which we are called to be an ezer.
In Your Relationships
*      Eve is God’s relational specialist given to the world to keep relationship a priority.
*      Men have a way of letting these things slip.  They’ll go months without checking in on the health of their relationships.  Years, even.
*      And the World simply uses people, then spits them out when they are worn out and no longer “on top of their game.”
*      Our Enemy despises relationship, hates love in any form, fears its redemptive power.  This is why God sent Eve.  Women are needed to protect relationships, bring them back to center stage where they belong.
*      It is here, starting in our circles of intimacy, that we are first and foremost women.
*      (pg 210) You have an irreplaceable role in your relationships.  No one can be to the people in your life who you can be to them.  No one can offer what you can offer.
*      There are many things God calls us to do, but loving well always comes first.  And don’t your relationships feel opposed?  Of course.  They must be fought for.
*      Satan knew that to take out Adam, all he had to do was take out Eve – his ezer kenegdo.  It worked rather well, and he has not abandoned the basic plan ever since.
*      Your place in the world as God’s heart for relationship is vital.
*      All the Enemy has to do to destroy people’s lives is to get them isolated, a lamb separated from the flock.
In the Body of Christ
*      (pg 210) Your life is also part of a larger movement, a mystical fellowship, the Kingdom of God advancing here on earth.
*      That fellowship of the Ransomed being Restored – that is an amazing fellowship to be a part of.
*      The fellowship of Christ is messy because it, too, is opposed.  And here you have an irreplaceable role to play.
*      We haven’t time here to address the issues surrounding “the proper role of women” in the church.
*      (pg 211) However, we do believe it is far more helpful to start with Design – with what God designed a woman to be and to offer. That comes first.
*      A woman is not the same as a man (thank God!).  She is designed differently.  We hope that’s clear by now.  Doesn’t it follow that her contributions will be uniquely feminine?
*      Furthermore, many of the Scriptures on the Role of women in the church are a reflection of God’s concern for a woman’s protection and spiritual covering.
*      Issues of headship and authority are intended for the benefit of women, not their suppression.  You know how dangerous it can be to try and come alive as a truly feminine woman.
*      God desires that wherever and however you offer yourself to the Body of Christ, you’ll have the protection of good men over you.  Not to hold you back, but to set you free as a woman.
*      Christ has made man as his warrior, to offer his strength on behalf of Eve so that she might flourish.
*      If you are called, God will make a way.  Either where you are or through a change of circumstances.
In the World
*      (pg 212) Stepping further out into your farthest sphere of influence, you have something essential to offer the World.  It may be in the form of a notable career.  It may be a hidden life, well lived.
*      Either way, the crucial issue is this: It is as a woman you must live here.
*      Do not be naive.  The World is still deeply marred by the Fall.  Men still dominate in many sinful ways (remember the curse).
*      Women who “make it” there tend to be dominating and controlling (remember Fallen Eve).  The Evil One holds sway over the World and its systems (I John 5:19).
*      In the World you must be as cunning as a Rahab, an Esther, a Tamar.  You must walk wisely. You must not let them shape you into their view of what a woman is.  You’ll end up a man.
*      What you have to offer is as a woman.  Uniquely feminine.
*      Above all, you must live in that World as a response to the invitation of Jesus, for you will be hurt if he has not called you there.  You will be covered if he has.
What is Written on Your Heart
*      (pg 212) As I said earlier, the invitations of Jesus come to us in many ways. 
*      Sometimes they come through a circumstance, an opportunity that opens before us.  Sometimes they come through other people who see something in us that we may not yet see, and they invite us to step forth in some way.
*      But God’s invitations ultimately are matters of the heart.
*      (pg 213) They come through our passions, those desires set deep within us. 
*      You will find that as God restores your heart and sets you free, you will recover long-lost passions, long-forsaken dreams.
Do Not Give Way to Fear
*      (pg 213) Of course this is scary.
*      Responding to the invitations of Jesus often feels like the riskiest thing we’ve ever done.
*      Webster defines “risk” as exposing one’s life to the possibility of injury, damage, or loss. 
*      The life of the friends of God is a life of profound risk.  The risk of loving others. The risk of stepping out and offering, speaking up and following our God-given dreams. The risk of playing the irreplaceable role that is ours to play.
*      Of course it is hard.  If it were easy, you’d see lots of women living this way.
*      (pg 214) The reason we fear to step out is because we know that it might not go well (is that an understatement?).  We have a history of wounds screaming at us to play it safe.
*      We feel so deeply that if it doesn’t go well, if we are not received well, their reaction becomes the verdict on our lives, on our very beings, on our hearts.  We fear that our deepest doubts about ourselves as women will be confirmed.  Again.
*      (pg 215) But we don’t get to wait to offer our lives until we have our acts together.  We don’t get that luxury.
*      God asks us to be vulnerable.  He invites us to share and give in our weaknesses.  He wants us to offer the beauty that he has given us even when we are keenly aware that it is not all that we wish it were.  He wants us to trust him.
*      How it turns out is no longer the point.  Living in this way, as a woman alive, is a choice we make because it is the woman we want to be.  It is our loving response to our Lover’s invitation.
Be Present
*      The gentleman had a twinkle in his eye, a spark, as if he had discovered the secret to life and it brought him much joy.  His wife was a tiny woman who I can best describe as being very present.
*      She was not a woman hiding, nor a woman afraid.  She was a woman at rest, at home with herself and with all pistons firing.  She was alive and beautiful.
*      This is what she lived by.  This is what she invited others into.
–        Now we should live when the pulse of life is strong.  Life is a tenuous thing…fragile, fleeting.  Don’t wait for tomorrow.  Be here now!  Be here now!  Be here now!
*      (pg 216) To live as an authentic, ransomed, and redeemed woman means to be real and present in this moment.
*      If we continue to hide, much will be lost.  We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and offer only who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted.
*      We cannot play the ezer role we were meant to play if we remain bound by shame and fear, presenting only to the world the face we have learned is safe. 
*      You have only one life to live.  It would be best to live your own.
*      God really does want you to know who youare.  He wants to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going.
*      There is freedom there.  Freedom to be and to offer and to love.  So, may we take a moment and remind you who you truly are?
*      (pg 217) You are woman.  An image bearer of God.  The Crown of Creation.
*      As a woman who has been ransomed and redeemed, you can be strong and tender.  You speak to the world of God’s mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship.
*      You are inviting; you can risk being vulnerable, offering the weight of your life as well as your need for more because you are safe in God’s love.
*      The eyes of his heart are ever upon you.  The King is captivated by your beauty.
*      You are certainly called to be a woman, wherever else he leads you.
Take My Hand
*      (pg 218) Jesus is extending his hand to you.  He is inviting you to dance with him. 
*      His gaze is fixed on you.  He is captivated by your beauty.  He is smiling.  He cares nothing of the opinion of others.  He is standing.  He will lead.  He waits for your response.
~~~
How about you?

Have you been held back by fear?

Is it hard for you to believe either of the following:
~   “You see, our true places as women in God’s Story are as diverse and unique as wildflowers in a field.”(pg 209)
~   “You are woman.  An image bearer of God.  The Crown of Creation.” (pg 217)
It is okay if you realize you are held back by fear or if you do find the above statements hard to believe, there is no condemnation in that.  It is our reality here on earth.  Just, please, don’t stay there.  Too many of us have been confused about this for too long and it is exactly why I believe this message is so important for us to hear/read/learn.  I struggle in both of these areas.  It is only by the continual Grace of God and my dependence on Him I haven’t crumbled from fear or disbelief.  Find a friend you can talk to about this, or if you would rather, please feel free to contact me at avcjoy(at)gmail(dot)com.  God meant for us to communicate with each other.  The best way we can combat these lies is to face them head on while asking for help in standing against them.  God created each of us individually, and desires an intimate, individual relationship with each of us; but He also fully intended us to love, care, and lean on each other to get through the hardships of life.  Life is hard.  He never promised it would be easy.  He did promise to help us each step of the way – when we ask Him to.

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-12/feed/ 0 On Faith & Fear https://flowersandrust.com/on-faith-fear/ https://flowersandrust.com/on-faith-fear/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:41 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=138 First, a few definitions I found in some notes while doing taxes digging out tax paperwork.  Unfortunately, I don’t have...

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]]> First, a few definitions I found in some notes while doing taxes digging out tax paperwork.  Unfortunately, I don’t have an exact reference, but I would guess they came from a Bible Study several years back.  Belief is mental acceptance of, or conviction in the truth or actuality of something; Faith goes beyond mental acceptance; believing what we can’t see, what is not tangible, and in some cases does not make sense.  Faith does not rest on logical proof or material evidence; Fear is a feeling of anxiety.

My mom made a statement this last week that has continued to replay in my mind –“the faith it takes to not have fear and how we work that out in real life.” The thought stemmed from the story of King Hezekiah, in Chronicles.  It took immense faith for him to stay faithful to God and not bow to the stronger countries surrounding Jerusalem.  {It is a good series by Lynn Austin, Chronicles of the Kings.  (I actually read them in ebook form on my nook.)}  It really struck me because I don’t often think about not being fearful as being full of faith.
Based on the above definitions to not be fearful and be full of faith would be the same as – not allowing the feeling of anxiety and instead reaching beyond my mental acceptance of what I can’t see, is not tangible, doesn’t necessarily make sense, and doesn’t rest on logical proof or material evidence.
I took this picture yesterday and think it is a good representation of how life feels right now – feelings of anxiety {fear} because so much is looming bigger than life, and only a small portion is in focus.
What is in focus isn’t even what is immediately before me.  However, because I know that what I can see clearly is only a small portion of the big picture{a beautiful picture, showing His Glory}, even though there isn’t tangible clarity just ahead, I can see and rest in the clarity just beyond.  
{Faith} is evidenced in my knowing He will provide, He will protect, He does love me – that is clear.  Abundantly clear.  His provision, protection, and love is manifested with blessings as numerous as the grains of sand/crystals of snow {depending on your location and the season,  :-D}.  
Are you looking for the blessings He has given you, or have you tripped on fear?

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/on-faith-fear/feed/ 0 It’s Life….some more. https://flowersandrust.com/its-life-some-more/ https://flowersandrust.com/its-life-some-more/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:41 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=153 This Christmas cactus is kind of like me right now.  I took this picture this morning.   It is confused...

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This Christmas cactus is kind of like me right now.  I took this picture this morning.  
It is confused — notice I said it is a Christmas cactus, it’s blooming in April!  
Life has thrown some serious curve balls at me this week.  The thing is, I have typically thought of “curve balls” as baseball or softball size…let me just say, this week’s curve balls have been bowling ball size and weight.  I have learned lots about myself.  I have hung onto these verses from James 1 a lot this week.
{2}Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
{3}because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
…
{5}If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God,
who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to him.
…
{19}My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, {20}for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
…
{26}If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
…
{27}Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. 
James 1 (NIV)
So, those bowling balls…ya… definite trial of many kinds.  Something happened a couple days ago which caused me to learn something about myself, but still leaves me speechless.  I can “get” {or be – not sure which is correct terminology} hysterical.  I do not believe I have ever been hysterical before.  This reaction actually shocked me.  I tend to be logical thinking and in the past I have been calm in extreme situations (maybe too calm and should have expressed some emotion); well, this week I expressed hysteria.  It has been three days and I still feel jittery at times.  I kind of shake my head and think, wow! did I really react like that?  What is really interesting to me is that I can honestly say, if the same thing ever should happen again – I believe I would probably react exactly the same way, or maybe even worse, maybe I would just pass out.  However, according to verse three, I am developing perseverance because of the faith testing this week.
God is faithful.  I asked.  He gave it generously.  He did provide wisdom.
Anger does not help any situation; it may be an expression and one we should express appropriately at times – but it doesn’t really help.  Anger is not an emotion I struggle with; I surprised myself today when something happened and my first reaction was anger.  At the same time, I’m still jittery and not quite myself after Thursday.  I am not sure the reaction would be different on a different day.  I do know, however, it doesn’t do any good.  Usually just makes me feel nauseous from the adrenaline overdose.  {Verse 26 I posted about on Wednesday} As for verse 27, I want to focus on a pure and faultless religion by keeping myself polluted by the world.  I would love to look after orphans and widows, as a single mom I haven’t been called in this direction, other than prayer support.  A great desire of my children and I is to adopt, at this time I know that is not wise, but it is still a dream and desire in our hearts.  This week though I have had to really focus on not allowing world pollution in my mind.
I am not going to apologize for my lack of posting of late.  Just know, when I can talk about some of these trials – I will.  When I am quiet it is because I am processing lots.  Right now what I’m processing can’t be shared online.  I don’t mean to be so vague but the week’s trials are ones I can’t directly talk about at this time.  I am in the midst of a few hard life lesson weeks.  Lots of praying, lots of clinging to Jesus.  I’m so thankful I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, cares about me, and provides everything I need just when I need it!

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/its-life-some-more/feed/ 0 Our mouths. Our hearts. https://flowersandrust.com/our-mouths-our-hearts/ https://flowersandrust.com/our-mouths-our-hearts/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:41 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=152 I’m going to write about something difficult because it has been heavy on my heart.  It is not a new thought.  I...

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]]> I’m going to write about something difficult because it has been heavy on my heart.  It is not a new thought.  I expect you already know this, but I want to encourage you as a friend to hold to what you know.

I don’t remember exactly which Bible Study, conversation, or where exactly the realization came from, but I do remember the life experience of a friend’s tongue. 
You know the situation – the one where a group of women are together and talking.  Someone brings up a prayer request…the ultimate disguise for gossip.  It made me uncomfortable to hear a “request” by someone not involved in a situation for about someone else.  I knew both women involved – the person talking and one being talked about.  I also knew how wrongly the one talking portrayed the circumstance because she didn’t have all the facts.  I also knew the one being talked about would have been mortified to know she was the topic in the form of a “prayer request”.  In fact, knowing the whole situation, I knew she was quite resolved in God’s plan and not struggling in the circumstance.  I knew the whole of the circumstance because I had been told directly, in confidence.  It made me sick to my stomach.  I hated the feeling of knowing. Of wondering what I should do.  In time I resented my resulting struggle with lack of respect for the talker. It was like the rust below the more you peel, the more damage done.  It is only by God’s sanding that we can be truly refinished. 
You know the situation – the one where a group of women are together and talking.  Someone brings up a prayer request…the ultimate disguise for gossip.  It made me uncomfortable to hear a “request” by someone not involved in a situation for about someone else.  I knew both women involved – the person talking and one being talked about.  I also knew how wrongly the one talking portrayed the circumstance because she didn’t have all the facts.  I also knew the one being talked about would have been mortified to know she was the topic in the form of a “prayer request”.  In fact, knowing the whole situation, I knew she was quite resolved in God’s plan and not struggling in the circumstance.  I knew the whole of the circumstance because I had been told directly, in confidence.  It made me sick to my stomach.  I hated the feeling of knowing. Of wondering what I should do.  In time I resented my resulting struggle with lack of respect for the talker. It was like the rust below the more you peel, the more damage done.  It is only by God’s sanding that we can be truly refinished. 
Our mouths and hearts can get us into so much trouble – and so quickly!
As a result of that life experience, I have lived by the rule of “If it’s not my business/news to share {or I can’t do something about it} then I don’t need to talk about it.”  I feel strongly – if it isn’t about myself directly….it.is.not.my.business. 
For the most part, I have found this to be a relieving way to live.  I don’t wonder if I should say something, I just don’t.  If it’s something that won’t leave my mind, I pray about it, turn it over to Him.  If I really believe something needs to be said, I go to the person it involves and ask them.  It may be considered a simplistic way of thinking, but it works well for me.
I was reminded of this strong belief this last week when one of my children was on the bum end of someone talking about them.  The person speaking didn’t mean harm.  It just wasn’t their business or news to be sharing.  I was faced with explaining this to my child without painting the other person in a bad light.  It was hard.  I always find it interesting how when emotion is involved how quickly you can be “back” in the moment of memories.

I find these life lessons the hardest ones to teach my children through.  I’m so glad we have a Heavenly Father to turn to and rely on.  Only by the Grace of God can I hope to be a good example. 

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]]> https://flowersandrust.com/our-mouths-our-hearts/feed/ 0 Book Break – Captivating #6 https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-6/ https://flowersandrust.com/book-break-captivating-6/#respond Sat, 10 Feb 2024 21:38:40 +0000 http://thoughtfulescapes.com/?p=137 Captivating Chapter 6 – Healing the Wound *      (pg 93) You, dear heart, are the crown of creation, his glorious...

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Captivating

Chapter 6 – Healing the Wound

*      (pg 93) You, dear heart, are the crown of creation, his glorious image bearer.  And he will do everything it takes to rescue you and set your heart free.

The Offer

*      (pg 94) Isaiah 61:1 He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,…

*      (pg 95) You are the glorious Image Bearer of the Lord Jesus Christ – the crown of his creation.

*      You have been assaulted.  You have fallen to your own resources.  Your Enemy has seized upon your wounds and your sins to pin your heart down.

*      Now the Son of God has come to ransom you, and to heal your broken, wounded, bleeding heart, and to set you free from bondage.

*      He came for the brokenhearted captives.  That’s me.  That’s you.

*      He came to restore the glorious creation that you are.  And then set you free…to be yourself.

*      (pg 96) Here is the core reason we wrote this book: to let you know that the healing of your feminine heart is available, and to help you find that healing.

*      To help you find the restoration which we long for and which is central to Jesus’ mission.  Let him take you by the hand now and walk with you through your restoration and release. 

Hemmed In

*      Why did God curse Eve with loneliness and heartache, and emptiness that nothing would be able to fill?  Wasn’t her life going to be hard enough out there in the world, banished from the Garden that was her true home, her only home, never able to return?  It seems unkind.  Cruel, even.

*      He did it to save her.  For as we all know personally, something in Eve’s heart shifted at the Fall. Something sent its roots deep down into her soul – and ours – that mistrust of God’s heart, that resolution to find life on our own terms.

*      So God has to thwart her.  In love, he has to block her attempts until, wounded and aching, she turns to him and him alone for her rescue.

*      Jesus has to thwart us too – thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and our hiding, thwart the ways we are seeking to fill the ache within us.  Otherwise, we would never fully turn to him for our rescue.

*      (pg 97) Oh, we might turn to him for our “salvation,” for a ticket to heaven when we die.

*      But inside, our hearts remain broken and captive and far from the One who can help us.

*      And so you will see the gentle, firm hand of God in a woman’s life hemming her in.

*      Wherever it is we have sought life apart from him, he disrupts our plans, our “way of life” which is not life at all.

 Turning from the Ways You’ve Sought to Save Yourself

*      (pg 98) We construct a life of safety (I will not be vulnerable there) and find some place to get a taste of being enjoyed or at least of being “needed.”

*      Our journey toward healing begins when we repent of those ways, lay them down, let them go.  They’ve been a royal disaster anyway.

*      ‘The trouble with steeling yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same steel that secures your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed.’ (Frederick Buechner, The Sacred Journey)

*      (pg 99) God comes to us and asks, “Will you let me come for you?”

*      To enter the journey toward the healing of your feminine heart, all it requires is a “Yes. Okay.”  A simple turning in the heart.

*      We let desire speak to us again; we let our hearts have a voice, and what the voice usually says is, This isn’t working.  My life is a disaster.  Jesus – I’m sorry.  Forgive me.  Please come for me.

Invite Him In

*      There is a famous passage of Scripture that many people have heard in the context of an invitation to know Christ as Savior. “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in” (Rev. 3:20 NKJV).

*      He does not force himself upon us.  He knocks, and waits for us to ask him in. (Rev. 3:20)

*      But the principle of this “knocking and waiting for permission to come in” remains true well into our Christian life.

*      You see, we all pretty much handle our brokenness in the same way – we mishandle it.

*      It hurts too much to go there.  So we shut the door to that room in our hearts, and we throw away the key…

*      (pg 100)  But that does not bring healing.  Not at all.  It might bring relief – for a while.  But never healing.

*      The best thing we can do is to let Jesus come in, open the door and invite him in to find us in those hurting places.

*      It might come as a surprise that Christ asks our permission to come in and heal, but he is kind, and the door is shut from the inside, and healing never comes against our will.

*      In order to experience his healing, we must also give him permission to come in to the places we have so long shut to anyone.

*      He knocks through many things, waiting for us to give him permission to enter in.

*      Give him permission.  Give him access to your broken heart.  Ask him to come to these places.

Renounce the Agreements You’ve Made

*      Your wounds brought messages with them.

*      They had a similar theme.  “You’re worthless.”  “You’re not a woman.”  “You’re too much…and not enough.”  “You’re a disappointment.”  “You are repulsive.”  Because they were delivered with such pain, they felt true.

*      (pg 101) They pierced our hearts, and they seemed so true.  So we accepted the message as fact.  We embraced it as the verdict on us.

*      As we said earlier, the vows we made as children act like a deep-seated agreement with the message of our wounds.

*      The vows we made acted like a kind of covenant with the messages that came with our deep wounds.

*      We must renounce them.  Before we are entirely convinced that they aren’t true, we must reject the message of our wounds.  It’s a way of unlocking the door to Jesus.

*      Agreements lock the door from the inside.  Renouncing the agreements unlocks the door to him.

We Find Our Tears

*      Part of the reason women are so tired is because we are spending so much energy trying to “keep it together.”  So much energy devoted to suppressing the pain and keeping a good appearance.

*      A terrible, costly way to live your life.  Part of this is driven by fear that the pain will overwhelm us.  That we will be consumed by our sorrow.

*      (pg 102) Grief, dear sisters, is good.  Grief helps to heal our hearts.

*      Let the tears come.  It is the only kind thing to do for your woundedness.  Allow yourself to feel again.

*      And feel you will – many things. Anger.  That’s okay.  Anger’s not a sin. (Eph 4:26)  Remorse.  Of course you feel remorse and regret for so many lost years.  Fear.  Yes, that makes sense.  Jesus can handle the fear as well.

*      In fact, there is no emotion you can bring up that Jesus can’t handle.

*      Let it all out.

*      Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered.  It mattered.  You mattered.  That’s not the way life was supposed to go.

*      There are unwept tears down in there – the tears of a little girl who is lost and frightened.  The tears of a teenage girl who’s been rejected and has no place to turn.  The tears of a woman whose life has been hard and lonely and nothing close to her dreams.  Let the tears come.

Forgive

*      A real step of courage and will.  We must forgive those who hurt us.

*      The reason is simple:  Bitterness and unforgiveness set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that hold us captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds.

*      Until you forgive, you remain their prisoner.

*      (pg 103) Forgiveness is a choice.  It is not a feeling – don’t try and feel forgiving.  It is an act of the will.

*      Neil Anderson says, “Don’t wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving.  You will never get there.  Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made…if your forgiveness doesn’t visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete.”

*      We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to our fathers, our mothers, those who hurt us. 

*      This is not saying, “It didn’t really matter”; it is not saying, “I probably deserved part of it anyway.”

*      Forgiveness says, “It was wrong. Very wrong. It mattered, hurt me deeply. And I release you. I give you to God.”

Ask Jesus to Heal You

*      We turn from our self-redemptive strategies.  We open the door of our hurting heart to Jesus.  We renounce the agreements we made with the messages of our wounds, renounce any vows we made.  We forgive those who harmed us.  And then, with an open heart, we simply ask Jesus to heal us.

*      (pg 104) This is the offer of our Savior – to heal our broken hearts…The time has come to let Jesus heal you.

Jesus, come to me and heal my heart.  Come to the shattered places within me.  Come for the little girl that was wounded.  Come and hold me in your arms, and heal me.  Do for me what you promised to do – heal my broken heart and set me free.

Ask Him to Destroy Your Enemies

*      (pg 105) There are things you’ve struggled with all your life – self-doubt, anger, depression, shame, addiction, fear.  You probably thought that those were your fault, too.  But they are not.  They came from the Enemy who wanted to take your heart captive, make you a prisoner of darkness.

*      We allowed those strongholds to form when we mishandled our wounds and made those vows.  But Jesus has forgiven us for all of that, and now he wants to set us free.

*      Ask him to destroy your enemies.  He promised to, after all.  Ask Jesus to release your heart from captivity to these things.

Let Him Father You

*      (pg 106) Every little girl was made to live in a world with a father who loves her unconditionally.

*      (pg 107) God invited me to go with him into the deep places of my heart that were hidden and wounded and bleeding still from heartbreaks and wounds I had received from my father’s hand.  Places I did not want to go.  Memories I did not want to revisit.  Emotions I did not want to feel.

*      The only reason I said yes to God, the only reason I would travel there, was because I knew he would go with me.  Hand in hand.  He would hold my heart.  And I had come to trust his.

*      There is a core part of our hearts that was made for Daddy.  Made for his strong and tender love.  That part is still there, and longing.  Open it to Jesus and to your Father God.  Ask him to come and love you there.  Meet you there.

*      We’ve all tried so hard to find the fulfillment of this love in other people, and it never, ever works.  Let us give this treasure back to the One who can love us best.

Ask Him to Answer Your Question

*      (pg 108) How do you come to such confidence?  You take your heart’s deepest Question to God.

*      We all still need to know, Do you see me? Am I captivating? Do I have a beauty all my own?

*      (pg 109) ‘What if you have a genuine and captivating beauty that is marred only by your striving?’

*      Let’s just start with a thought.  What if the message delivered with your wounds simply isn’t true about you?  Let that sink in.  It wasn’t true.  What does it free you to do? Weep? Rejoice? Let go? Come out? Take your heart back?

*      (pg 110) Take your Question to Jesus.  Ask him to show you your beauty.  And then?  Let him Romance you.

How about you?
Are you tired and weary from trying to “keep it together”?
Are you afraid of the pain threatening to overwhelm and consume you?
Turn to Him.  Ask Him.  Lean on Him.  Trust Him.
~~~
This is the offer of our Savior – to heal our broken hearts. The time has come to let Jesus heal you.   Jesus, come to me and heal my heart.  Come to the shattered places within me.  Come for the little girl that was wounded.  Come and hold me in your arms, and heal me.  Do for me what you promised to do – heal my broken heart and set me free. (Prayer from pg 104)
~~~
Disclaimer:  I have not been compensated for anything in this post.  All points are taken from Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.  Page numbers where the quotes are listed are at the beginning of one quote; all quotes following until the next page number is listed are from the same page.

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