{sigh} January is coming to a close already. Is it over yet? While my heart and mind are sad because I didn’t get the time I wanted to start the new year fresh {Did I ever mention, I have a new notebook for organizing thoughts in 2013.}; I hope and pray to never see anything like January 2013 again, I am desperate for February to be the new start of the new year. The first month of this new year has been the most consistently brutal month of my and my family’s life. I actually breathed a sigh of relief yesterday morning when I thought, “oh – good, there are no more Friday’s or Tuesday’s in January 2013. For the sake of security and privacy, I can’t go into detail on most of what has gone on – but I can allude to the magnitude.
Trust me when I say, it really may seem like no big deal as you read, but what I can’t explain in words is the emotional passage each of these events brings. Separated out over time we would have learned from, and moved on – with lots of time in between. Bumps in the roap, but not earth shattering. However, we haven’t had the privilege of time between events, we’ve had a matter of days between each event. The month has been intense enough that even my mom & sister-in-law who aren’t normally bothered/shaken by life events have had a few shaky breaths lately {they process things quickly and are able to move on – I am not blessed with this gift, I am a slow processor whether big or small}. However, I want to repeat something my sister-in-law said – something beautiful, I really don’t want to forget.
This month, our family has just had multiple opportunities to see how much the Lord is protecting our family, each one of us. We’ve seen so much tangible evidence of how much worse it could have been and wasn’t. Just think, each instance. It could have been so much worse. Each time.
Isn’t she wise?
Let me ‘re-cap’ our month of January 2013:
Thursday, January 3rd – 11pm, mom & dad returned home safely from 3 weeks in the Philippines
Friday, January 4th – we did not have to plan a funeral in the USA.
a little later the same week – there was not a funeral associated with our family in the Philippines.
Friday, January 11th – our family was notified of a certain life altering, forever-changing event that will make itself felt in every future family gathering and extended family friend gathering for the rest of our lives. The ripple effect fall out has yet to begin. There is a whole new ‘normal’ for our family, there will NEVER be the thought of the previous normal, ever being present or happening again. Ever. This also triggered 30 years of emotional baggage I had no idea was still attached to me and waiting to be unpacked. It didn’t just unpack nicely onto the bed – it exploded. All consuming explosion.
Every truth & belief I have was stripped to, “Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
My life purpose is all for His glory. It is what I want. I am so thankful for His saving grace.
Thursday, January 17th – woke up from my first night of sleep in a week, with feeling & awareness of a new day. Honestly, from the 11-16th was a scary void. A place I’d rather not go again. I suspect the Lord is not done clearing out those suitcases, but He has graciously allowed me to put them aside though for a bit to get my footing again.
Saturday – phew! {deep breaths}. we made it through Friday. it’s been a week.
Tuesday, January 22nd – the last time I wrote. I got an email with the subject line of ‘here’s the bad news. I’ll call in a bit.’ It was dumb, but I really had to get over ‘losing’ my living room floor. Even now, it makes me teary. My floor is forever gone. My illusions of living in a cottage setting. Gone. {trying to come to grips & not just stuff emotion}
BUT – I did find a floor I can live with for a whoppin’ .68sf – once I got the underlayment and the transitional trim into the three rooms I was at a grand total of $1.30sf!
Wednesday, January 23rd – woke up to my 15 year old having the flu. {am I horrible mom to have relished that one day of peace between the siblings? please, tell me no.}
Thursday, January 24th – Vince was still sick. I’m bummed for him, however. Now I had to move all the furniture out on my own! just great. I did manage, with great help from Christine, to get the 4 bookcases, 3 desks, 4 computers & paraphernalia, TV & paraphernalia, millions of CDs & DVDs {yes, I might be exaggerating. a little}, all the books from those bookcases, and all the stuff from those desks – everything but the couch & lamp – into my bedroom by 3pm! I wasn’t sure when the contractor was coming to lay the floor. Christine went to bed early not feeling well, so I slept on my couch ‘cuz I didn’t want to get sick. By the end of the evening, I felt as if an elephant was sitting on my chest, I fell asleep thinking “I should take an allergy pill”. I didn’t get up to take one. {please note: the above picture shows 2 of the 4 bookcases, none of the desks, DVDs, CDs, or the TV or computers!}
Friday, January 25th – Vince & Christine both out for the count with the flu & I felt horrible. But we still needed to find a fire door & I needed to pick up the trim for the transition into the different rooms. By the time I got back I felt even more horrible. All I could think was seriously, all 3 of us – the flu – now?! I wasn’t convinced I had the flu, I don’t typically get sick. I just don’t feel well & usually can just sleep it off. I chalked it up to allergies, stress, tired… Friday night I slept with Christine in mom & dad’s king size bed, with a pillow width wall of blankets & pillows between us. I didn’t want to get sick :-D.
Saturday, January 26th – Christine makes a gallant effort to help me. She thought she felt better. The floor is finished up but by then neither of us has the energy to try to put anything back. Old door cut out, fire door installed. Dust from cutting flooring in my kitchen, cutting sheetrock, cutting out old door, installing new door, my ‘new’ entry all cleaned up. I give up. I think I am sick. We go to bed knowing none of us will be getting up to go to church. Vince was still sick, Christine was re-lapsing, and I was just starting.
Sunday, January 27th – don’t remember, I think we all just slept through it. Basically. I did muster enough energy to go to the store to get orange juice & kleenex. I remember thinking Vince must be a bit better – he was talking back to the TV. and laughing. I desperately wanted to get things put back where they belong, but couldn’t get up for more than a couple minutes at a time.
Monday, January 28th – again, I think we basically just slept through the day. Vince was still sick (all his talking back wore him out). Again, not able to get things put away. Each day my goal was just to get my bed cleared off, so I could sleep in my own bed. The house inspection was supposed to happen, about 1pm I found out it wasn’t going to. I laid down on the couch & didn’t get up again until I climbed into bed.
Tuesday, January 29th – we’re all still pretty miserable, but in different stages of getting well. Vince is finally better. I felt a bit twitchy. After all, it had been a week since the last ‘big news’ and we’ve all been sick, my house was still upside-down, I was still sleeping with Christine because I couldn’t get to my bed. I found out about 3:30 the house inspection wasn’t going to happen again. By 7:30pm I’m thinking about heading to bed. …but at 7:44pm I got a text from mom – my brother & sister-in-law’s house was broken into and they were robbed, while they slept! No one was hurt. The thief broke the window & screens and pulled what they could through the approx. 12″x18″ openings between the window bars.
purse. drivers license. ATM card. camera. cell phone. brother’s iPhone. house keys. car keys. all gone.
They don’t usually carry cash- but she’d just taken cash out earlier in the day.
He usually has the iPhone upstairs – it’s their alarm. She usually hangs her purse elsewhere. that night she didn’t.
These items were left on their kitchen table. inside their house. inside the locked gate. and a 6′ wall with barbed wire & broken glass on top.
The thief didn’t even bother to bring their own supplies – they cut the clothes line & used the wire to ‘fish’ the things from the table. even the iPhone. Thanks to the wonder of Skype, I got to talk to my sister-in-law yesterday – they have all new house locks (3 or 4 of them per door) and their car has all new locks and the remote start has even been changed. They feel very safe, secure, and fortunate. She said it is an eye-opener, a reminder. They let their guard down, but weren’t hurt. They are American. They are a target. Always will be. They are rich. Even if they aren’t rich, because they are American’s they have connections. That equates to richness. We take our ‘connection’s’ for granted.
So, today is the last day of January and other than emotionally, I can’t say I am any further ahead in life than I was on the 31st of December 2012.
Who are you connected to? Are you connected to a Heavenly Father who loves you beyond what you can imagine or think?
Do you remember to NOT take this connection for granted?
We have to purpose to give Him the glory.
To keep our connection with Him fresh. pliable. moldable to all He wants to teach us.