I am really having to work on choosing to not worry right now. I am seeing evidence of God in big things – but I need to see Him in smaller things as well. After all, without small you don’t have big.

The name of this blog is Thoughtful Escapes because blogging is an escape of sorts, yet I don’t want to fall into the trap of just spewing.

I want this place to be thoughtful, encouraging, a place to show Christ to others.

A time I reflect on life and the goodness of God.

As I’ve already mentioned [& am tired of saying] 2013 has been a hard year. We have actually made it almost through February without a new [crisis/big life change], but I’m still processing lots. I’m not claiming this as the word for 2013 – but the word ‘process’ has been a thunderously loud chant in my head, heart, and mind this year. I’ve said before, I’m a slow processor. I’m tired of processing; and these are things I’m not able to process ‘out loud’ in this space. Often enough my thoughts haven’t been a safe place, so it’s been very quiet here. I’m avoiding. I’ve ‘written’ many posts in my head, but none could [or should] be posted here. on the internet. It’s hard to get back into writing, but when I do – it’s easy. But then I say too much.

I believe as a result of all this processing, there is change coming. A lot of it. Good changes. but it still kind of scares me. Again, change is something I’m not overly fond of. In fact, I really dislike change. It means what I am used to isn’t real anymore.

I like routine.

I like slow.

I like watching from the edges.

I like planning.

I’m not big on being surprised. but I do like to anticipate [because, you see, then I’ve planned it & it isn’t a surprise]

God is working on me. I’m learning to let go [quickly] to what I like. But it is taking time. I’m almost to the point where change would be welcome to processing though.

I did have a list of random things to tell you, but I forgot what they were.  –> I do remember this from today though – Algebra just might do me in, at the very least it is causing me a permanent headache these days. <–  ugh! I’ve discovered it’s worse to teach than try to wrap my mind around. ‘Cuz you know, for some crazy reason I thought it would be different – I would actually understand it this time through. After all – third times supposed to be the charm! [I’ve been through Algebra in high school, then college, now as a homeschooling parent.] It would help if he wanted to understand. Why can’t I just show him step-by-step how to do it and he understand what didn’t make sense when he read it to himself? He asks me why?! I have no idea! and Christine still has to do it too. {ugh! ugh! ugh!} if it wasn’t for the fact it actually counts on school records now – I would  so be giving up!