Captivating
Chapter 5 ~ A Special Hatred
* (pg 77) Yes, women have fallen from grace. Yes, they have been wounded. But in order to understand the lingering doubts in your own heart regarding your femininity, in order to understand why it is so rare to encounter a truly alive and vibrant woman, you must hear more of the story.
Further Assault
* (pg 79) If you will listen carefully to any woman’s story, you will hear a theme: the assault on her heart.
* It might be obvious as in the stories of physical, verbal, or sexual abuse. Or it might be more subtle, the indifference of a world that cares nothing for her but uses her until she is drained.
* Forty years of being neglected damages a woman’s heart, too, dear friends.
* Either way, the wounds continue to come long after we’ve “grown up,” but they all seem to speak the same message.
* (pg 80) As women we tend to feel that “it must be me.” That’s the effect of our early wounds. “Something is fundamentally wrong with me.” So many women feel that way. (Why are we working so hard to improve ourselves? Or why do we keep so busy that the issues of our hearts never have to come to the surface?)
* We also feel that we are essentially alone. And that somehow the two are related. We believe we are alone because we are not the women we should be.
* We don’t feel that we are irreplaceable, so we try and make ourselves useful.
* We don’t believe we are beautiful, so we work hard to be outwardly beautiful or we “let ourselves go” and hide behind a persona that has no allure.
* We try so hard, and in so many ways, to protect our hearts from further pain.
What is Really Going on Here?
* The story of the treatment of women down through the ages is not a noble history. It has noble moments in it, to be sure, but taken as a whole, women have endured what seems to be a special hatred ever since we left Eden.
* (pg 82) Sexual violence against women is rampant throughout the world. It is also rampant against little girls.
* Do not make the mistake of believing “men are the enemy.” Certainly men have had a hand in this, and will have a day of reckoning before their Maker. But you will not understand this story – or your story – until you begin to see the actual Forces behind this and get a grip on their motives.
A Special Hatred
* The assault on femininity – its long history, its utter viciousness – cannot be understood apart from the spiritual forces of evil we are warned against in the Scriptures.
* This is not to say that men (and women, for they, too, assault women) have no accountability in their treatment of women. Not at all. It is simply to say that no explanation for the assault upon Eve and her daughters is sufficient unless it opens our eyes to the Prince of Darkness and his special hatred of femininity.
* (pg 84) Perfect in beauty. That is the key. Lucifer was gorgeous. He was breathtaking. And it was his ruin. Pride entered Lucifer’s heart. The angel came to believe he was being cheated somehow. He craved the worship that was being given to God for himself. He didn’t merely want to play a noble role in the Story; he wanted the Story to be about him. He wanted to be the star. He wanted the attention, the adoration for himself.
* Satan fell because of his beauty. Now his heart for revenge is to assault beauty. He destroys it in the natural world wherever he can.
* He wreaks destruction on the glory of God in the earth like a psychopath committed to destroying great works of art.
* But most especially, he hates Eve. Because she is captivating, uniquely glorious, and he cannot be. She is the incarnation of the Beauty of God. More than anything else in creation, she embodies the glory of God. She allures the world to God. He hates it with a jealousy we can only imagine.
* And there is more. The Evil One also hates Eve because she gives life.
* He brings death. His is a kingdom of death. … And thus Eve is his greatest human threat, for she brings life. She is a lifesaver and a life giver. Eve means “life” or “life producer.”
* (pg 85) Put those two things together – that Eve incarnates the Beauty of God and she gives life to the world. Satan’s bitter heart cannot bear it. He assaults her with a special hatred.
* Satan goes after Eve. This explains an awful lot. It is not meant to scare you. Actually, it will shed so much light on your life’s story, if you will let it.
* Most of you thought the things that have happened to you were somehow your fault – that you deserved it.
* And most of you are living with the guilt that somehow it’s your fault you aren’t more deeply pursued now. That you do not have an essential role in a great adventure. That you have no beauty to unveil.
* The message of our wounds nearly always is, “This is because of you. This is what you deserve.” It changes things to realize that, no, it is because you are glorious that these things happened.
* It is because you are a major threat to the kingdom of darkness. Because you uniquely carry the glory of God to the world. You are hated because of your beauty and power.
On A Human Level
* (pg 86) What is this thing in me – and most men – that just doesn’t want to go deep into a woman’s world? You are too much work. Too hard. It’s too much work. Men are simpler. Easier. And isn’t that just the message you’ve lived with all your life as a woman? “You’re too much, and not enough. You’re just not worth the effort.” (And why is it such an effort? There must be something wrong with you.)
* He fears that having delved into his woman’s world, he won’t have what it takes to help her there. That is his sin. That is his cowardice. And because of her shame, most of the time a man gets away with it.
* The effect is that most women feel alone.
* Some of this is simply selfishness on the part of men. Lord knows men are selfish and self-centered. When Eve was first assaultd, Adam didn’t do jack squat. Men sin through violence and through passivity. It’s that plain and simple…and ugly.
* (pg 88) Back off, or Leave her alone, or, You don’t really want to go there – she’ll be too much for you is something Satan has set against every woman from the day of her birth. It’s the emotional and spiritual equivalent of leaving a little girl by the side of the road to die.
* And to every woman he has whispered, You are alone, or, When they see who you really are, you will be alone, or, No one will ever truly come for you.
* Take a moment. Quiet your heart and ask yourself, “Is this a message I have believed, feared, lived with?” Not only do most women fear they will ultimately be abandoned by the men in their lives – they fear it from other women as well. That they will be abandoned by their friends, and left alone. It’s time to reveal this pervasive threat, this crippling fear, this terrible lie.
* (pg 89) This is the way of the Evil One toward you. He plays upon a woman’s worst fear: Abandonment. He arranges for her to be abandoned, and he puts his spin on every event he can to make it seem like abandonment.
There is Hope
* (pg 90) The Enemy bears a special hatred for Eve. If you believe he has any role in the history of this world, you cannot help but see it.
* The Evil One had a hand in all that has happened to you. If he didn’t arrange for the assault directly – and certainly human sin has a large enough role to play – then he made sure he drove the message of the wounds home in your heart.
* He is the one who has dogged your heels with shame and self-doubt and accusation. He is the one who offers the false comforters to you in order to deepen your bondage. He is the one who has done these things in order to prevent your restoration. For that is what he fears. He fears who you are; what you are; what you might become.
* He fears your beauty and your life-giving heart.
* You really won’t understand your life as a woman until you understand this:
You are passionately loved by the God of the universe.
You are passionately hated by his Enemy.
* And so, dear heart, it is time for your restoration. For there is One greater than your Enemy.
* One who has sought you out from the beginning of time. He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul. Let us turn now to him.
How about you?
Do you see yourself giving more, trying to be more, or have you
withdrawn, in hopes of protecting your heart?
Disclaimer: I have not been compensated for anything in this post. All points are taken from Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. Page numbers where the quotes are listed are at the beginning of one quote; all quotes following until the next page number is listed are from the same page.