I am choosing to believe the words of Francesca Battistelli, This Is The StuffIn the middle of my little mess. I forget how big I’m blessed…I’ve gotta trust. You know exactly what You’re doing. Might not be what I would choose. But this is the stuff You use.” I’m so very thankful for a Heavenly Father who cares about me and He does use my silliness. He does know exactly what He is doing!

How about you – how do you make the priority changes desperately needed when stupid, little things consume day after day? How do you learn to not let it get to you and distract you?

Even knowing this in my head – I’m feeling very frustrated with life. There are several things I want to get done and just can’t seem to. I read posts about needing to let go and I really want to and then 15bazillion things happen all at once. Just to help you understand the basis of this rambling post…. :-D.

This is a petty little example of one of those 15bazillion little things from the last week: Last Monday, dad & mom’s front door knob decided to give out/seize up. It was in the last hours my brother and his family were here. Totally weird. Worked all day just fine. Then it would not open. We pried with screwdrivers but it wasn’t going to budge. Fine. Being a DIY family, we took the door off the hinges to remove the core of the doorknob so we could at least still use the door. We are just using the dead bolt to latch the door. Not a big deal.

I had almost a week to pickup a new doorknob before some family came to stay at dad & mom’s for a couple weeks. Of course, I didn’t do it earlier in the week (fought and won with a computer instead, more on this later) – so, family is coming in 4 hours and I’m at Lowe’s to buy a doorknob. After seeing there are 100+ doorknobs to choose from I had this overwhelmed feeling of “this is personal! it’s the front door, the first thing people see – mom should be choosing the look of her new doorknob, not me.” So, I call her to ask – her response, “why would I care – it’s just a doorknob”…okay, I’m weird. {I happen to really dislike the doorknob that is my front door – I care. Guess it’s just me}
After checking out all the options, explanations, and multiple discussions with the sales person, I got even more overwhelmed with the choices – this is important {even if it is just me who thinks so!} and I’d plan to run into Lowe’s, grab it, and get out. (we had already been in town 6 hours-it was time to go home!) It’s now been 20+ minutes, I’m tired and I have to finish getting things cleaned up before family gets there. I decide on one that looks almost identical to the one that broke. (that way it is a non-decision and can’t be bad, right?) Apparently, the one that broke was commercial grade and shouldn’t have broken. Whatever. The sales person didn’t believe we really wanted a commercial grade and not a more personal look. I’m done. I want the same thing as we had before. I saw it didn’t have a lock on the inside and I thought “Oh, good. It won’t get accidentally locked”. (The other one would bump the wall and lock us out at random times.)
I get home, get other more important cleaning things done and start in on changing out the doorknob. Matt (my youngest bro) happened to be there and watch me start – he was impressed I pulled the handle portion off as quick as I did and said he could tell I’d get it done faster {I did tell him Zach had shown me what to do} so he went on his way. I did get it done and without too much effort.
However…. It was an autolock doorknob! Meant for storage closets to be only ever opened with a key!!!!!! Aargghhhh!!!! Seriously! So, no – it was going to lock us out randomly – but EVERY TIME THE DOOR SHUT! I was so frustrated. If it wasn’t for the four people watching me I totally would have screamed and burst into tears. Instead, I took it back out put it all away and re-installed the broken doorknob, with no core. This whole stupid doorknob has now consumed almost 3 hours of my last week. Three hours I didn’t have. And I still have to take it back, find the right one, come home and go through the install process again. {sigh}
This is the stuff that is driving me crazy!

  • I really want life to slow down! {I’m feeling pretty pouty about this}
  • I want more time {not so much more – but better spent.}
  • I want to learn how to better use my new camera {right now I can’t get it to focus or download photos with a cord!}
  • I want to sew… so many projects {I’ve managed to mess something up and it’s skipping a stitch – am I really going to have to take it in?}
  • I want to learn how to use Adobe CS5, Lightroom, and my Wacom Tablet {I’ve had them all over a year now – seriously!}
  • I want to get house projects finished {they’ve been in my head for months – I even have the supplies! back to the time issue}
  • I want to be more effective with home schooling {We love home schooling and I don’t like when it feels like a burden because priorities are out of whack!}
  • I want everything put away {so my house can be clean}
  • I want a place for everything {so it can be cleaned up and put away}
  • I want some life answers {job and home business – what direction am I going to go?}
I have been letting these things get to me {I should clarify, the lack of accomplishing these things is getting to me}. Again. {deep sigh} But – I am still going to Choose Joy!
*Lyrics to “This Is The Stuff“:

I lost my keys in the great unknown

And call me please

‘Cause I can’t find my phone

This is the stuff

That drives me crazy

This is the stuff

That’s getting to me lately

In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I’m blessed

This is the stuff

That gets under my skin

But I’ve gotta trust

You know exactly what You’re doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35

Sirens and fines

While I’m running behind

This is the stuff

That drives me crazy

This is the stuff

That’s getting to me lately

In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I’m blessed

This is the stuff

That gets under my skin

But I’ve gotta trust

You know exactly what You’re doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this is the stuff You use…

…To break me of impatience

Conquer my frustrations

I’ve got a new appreciation

It’s not the end of the world…

This is the stuff

That drives me crazy

This is the stuff

Someone save me

In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I’m blessed

This is the stuff

That gets under my skin

But I’ve gotta trust

You know exactly what You’re doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this is the stuff You use

This is the stuff You use

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