31 Days – 11 days in, WOW! This does seem to have quickly become a ‘habit’ – I put that in quotes, because it’s still the end of each day or the day of…I haven’t made it to planning ahead, yet. However, I am enjoying this challenge. I really appreciate Lisa-Jo’s encouragement today, to just write even – if we don’t feel like it.
Today I’m going to write about Perspective. I’m sorry if this post seems rambling, I haven’t completely processed what I’m trying to say – which is usually not a good thing for me. I find this word [Perspective] sometimes provides grace, or an excuse. Grace when we are able to look at a situation from another’s shoes, or an excuse when uses ‘my’ perspective versus ‘your’ perspective to be rude.
Perspective as a means to give grace: Have you noticed there are times when you have a misunderstanding with someone because of two {or as many people as who are involved} different perspectives and ways of seeing every situation. For example: Children with cell phones. I strongly disagree with children having cell phones. Yes, I realize I am archaic in my way of thinking. I have multiple reasons for this perspective: cost & responsibility top my list.
Cost – cell phones are stinkin’ expensive! I see them to be used as a tool, but if you don’t watch it you can become controlled by your need for/dependence on it. A cell phone has its place, but it has morphed to being an unnatural convenience/dependence, an entitlement. I do have a cell phone, an iPhone, but I have the smallest possible data package {smaller than is even available now}; I basically have an overkill of a phone. I use the phone and texting parts almost daily, but everything else is just every once in a while. This is because I refuse to be ultra dependent on my phone – if I forget it at home, unless it is for safety sake (late night/icy roads) I leave it there. Point of clarification: This is my conviction; I don’t mean any of this as a condemnation for anyone! Anyone reading could say I am not being a good steward of what I have because I am not using it fully, the way it is intended, so much of my phone’s purpose is wasted. {I have an iPhone from when I was in school, so I could check into my classes with it and be a little less attached to my laptop & it was the only one with the app. On top of which, I’m on a family plan & to change would actually cost me more per month now AND I’d have to learn how to use a new phone.}
Responsibility: For me, I know I have an issue with fully acting out my trust of my Heavenly Father, whom I totally cling to. I know I am not strong enough to NOT form an attachment of dependency on a stupid, inanimate object over my Heavenly Father, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords. Because of this dysfunction in me, I know having a cell phone is a big responsibility. I don’t know how to teach my children to keep their dependence properly grounded without being really strict with myself and showing by example. I don’t know if children can make this distinction on their own – most are not mature enough, in the world or in their faith. I realize there are very real reasons and situations for some families, including all children, to each have cell phones. I am not talking about that – at all – I’m only talking about myself and my two children. We aren’t in that situation; my children are with me 95% of the time…why would they need a cell phone? I work from home, we home school. This is a very hard concept for my children to understand, mostly my 12 year old daughter, especially when it seems as if everyone else has a cell phone. [Her perspective]
This year has ended up being a year where one night my daughter has gymnastics, then youth group, and another day/night my son has a math class and youth group. In the past I’ve just waited where ever it is. This is year has been different, too many things happening at once and if I have to double up reasons for being out. Also, my mom has helped with some of the running. This has meant my children have been dropped off by one person, then picked up by another – with plans changing while they were in their class. Over the last couple months of this schedule, against my hearts desire, I decided to get phones for communication. I have a new understanding – my perspective has changed – of why children have a need for cell phones. This doesn’t mean we have to go all out, but it is time for another tool. So, I decided we were going to get minutes for a prepay phone. One where you pay for $20 for 200 min and get 3 texts/min. My son (15 years) went through his strong desire for a cell phone 3 years ago, he had the brilliant idea they could share one since they weren’t going two different ways – their activities are on different days. Duh! Why didn’t I think of that…because all my effort, and perspective, was in fighting my own decision. My daughter was not as impressed with this plan. 😀 My son’s fingers were to big to use the phone with buttons, so I got a touch screen for him; the funny thing was she really didn’t want a touch screen and was expressing the desire to learn self-control on using minutes. In the end it was $10 to get min for the 2nd prepay phone we already have, so I got them for my daughter.
So….my point in a nutshell: My perspective changed because of our schedule; then money changed it again.
I was adamant sharing a phone was a great idea; then my perspective changed again and for $10. I chose to extend grace in changing my perspective by buying minutes for my daughter, for her hearts desire. In those moments my children extended grace to me in my changing my mind multiple times as I worked it out in my mind (even though it confused my daughter and we had to have a long talk about it).
What I don’t like is when ‘perspective’ is used as an excuse. Such as someone is being verbally rude, or in action is rude, and they know it. To try to make themselves feel better, they’ll say “it’s your perspective”. As if their perspective is better, so therefore yours means nothing. It is so incredibly hurtful. I am really struggling with being on the receiving end of that statement. It hurts. Badly. It’s really hard to not allow myself to be cynical and just be flip in my thinking/speaking by saying. “We all have a different perspective.” If we get caught up in that kind of thinking, what place is there for right or wrong? I believe the Bible tells us enough – there is different right and wrong. That isn’t the question, it’s the “gray” stuff — the way we talk to each other. Respect each other. Cherish each other. Is there a right vs wrong way? Or is it to each of our perspective?
What do you think? Do you struggle with this idea at all? I really would like to hear your thoughts.